I met a guy little over a week ago. He shows up at my house 3 days later (not sure how he found my house???) to get my phone # coz it didn't save in his phone.
Well, since then, this pshyco showed up 2 more times (1 time I wasn't there, next time I was - he said same reason with the phone#).
Then he shows up again, UNINVITED and I reluctantly invited him into my home and he left about 40 minutes later. As he was leaving, I told him how it drives me nuts when people show up at my house uninvited (although that doesn't apply to close friends/neighbors - only people I don't know well). He said, that's fine, I will call ahead from now on. Well he called 3 times in a row Saturday night but I didn't answer. 10 Minutes later, he shows up at my door. I again, reluctantly invite him in. I practically ignore him the whole time as I was piss**d off that he showed up again. uninvited. I told him again, not to do that.
How do I drop this guy gracefully. He is so clueless! Thanks
2006-10-16 06:06:29 · 18 answers · asked by bewildered102 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So I never called him yesterday and he calls today like nothing ever happened. He's already called me 4 times.
I just want this guy gone but don't want to be nasty.
2006-10-16 06:08:58 · update #1
It sounds like you got a little more than you bargained for. I bet you will think twice about going out with friends and drinking long island ice teas all night. Maybe next time keep the beer goggles off.
And by the way.......
I love you!!!!
2006-10-18 12:27:42 · answer #1 · answered by goinginsane76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say something like "Look, I've tried to be nice about the situation, but you can't seem to take a hint. I don't know how you got my number or found out where I live, but its creepy. I mentioned how I hate when people show up uninvited, even gave you attitude while you were here, yet you continue to drop by. I don't know how else to say this without coming off as mean or rude, so I'll just say it. I think we can be friends and hang or whatever, but that's it. You have got to stop calling me back to back if I don't answer- and quit inviting yourself over. I don't see you as anything more then a friend, but you won't be that if you don't quit being creepy." I don't know, I could see myself saying that over the phone to him when he called- the 2ND time or so. Throw something in about having caller id: "so I know its you..."
2006-10-16 06:19:11 · answer #2 · answered by shondak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From his point of view -- he got your address (who knows where), showed up (uninvited) and got in. He showed up again (again uninvited), and got in. He called (multiple time), showed up, and got in.
Seeing a pattern here? He's getting in because you're letting him in. Clueless? Gracefully? This is not a person who deals in subtlety, or hints. So long as you take his calls and let him in when he appears, he will continue, because he's (reasonably) figuring you want him to, because, hello, you let him get away with it.
Your "hints" are matching your actions, so it's natural that the Pest is confused. Sweetie, it's time for direct action and speech. If you're not interested in him, tell him that, kindly, but firmly. In public, please, not in your home. No more letting him into your home.
He seems a bit obsessed, so be careful here. Maybe he's harmless, but maybe he isn't - so no more taking his calls, no more letting him into your home. Public venues, with friends handy, only - no walking alone to your car.
If, after you've told him to leave you alone, he shows up, you call the police, because what you have is harrassment. At the very least, it's time to be clear about what you want, unless you want to wind up married to this guy because you never told him you wouldn't -- Good luck!
2006-10-16 06:16:16 · answer #3 · answered by peculiarpup 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I would be concerned as to how he found out where you live.
I would let him know that it is not OK to come by your house again, until you specifically to him to do so (not that you ever will).
If you are going to meet him, it will be somewhere else in a public place, until you get to know each other better.
He is welcome to call and leave a message, and you will return his call when you can.
If he calls 3 times a day, let him know that you prefer that he calls more like once every 3 days.
Your going to have to lay it out very clearly so there is no misunderstanding.
2006-10-16 06:18:20 · answer #4 · answered by creskin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to be nasty...and right now. These kind of people count on your being 'nice' and not saying anything to them. Next time he calls tell him you arent interested...lie and tell him an old boyfriend and you made up or something and tell him to stop calling and coming over. If he turns up do not invite him in...tell him again to stop coming over and shut the door. Next time he turns up dont answer the door...call the police.
2006-10-16 06:12:15 · answer #5 · answered by dragonrider707 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell Him and make it as clear as you can, you don't see this going anywhere and you want him to stop coming around and calling. You inviting him was not smart, don't do that anymore especially if your ready to give him walking papers, you don't know how he will react. He probably followed you home, you should be concerned. Get a restraining order!.. Better to be safe than sorry!
2006-10-16 06:14:10 · answer #6 · answered by Shy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gracefully hell, tell him he is nuts and if he shows up again or tries to contact you again that you will call the cops. Do is psycho and I would want him anywhere near me. I have experienced this and mine went away, thank goodness. Good luck!!
2006-10-16 06:10:38 · answer #7 · answered by la_southern_femme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in case you hate enjoying video games, the respond is uncomplicated - do no longer play video games! Get his extensive kind off a chum, ask him to fulfill you someplace for dinner one nighttime. tell him you're attracted to him and notice what his reaction is. If it incredibly is beneficial, you're set. If it incredibly is adverse, flow on and don't waste a while. solid success.
2016-12-13 09:20:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't call, don't answer and if he shows up at your house again. Tell him it isn't a good time and that you met someone else. Or just be honest and tell him you don't appreciate him coming without your approval.
Honesty, sometimes it works.
2006-10-16 06:20:25 · answer #9 · answered by tightlies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CAll HIM and Tell HIM ,,,, DO NOT COME OVER EVER
,WHEN THIS FAILS AND HE INSISTS ON SHOWING UP UNANNOUNCED,,, CALL A FRIEND OR NEIGHBOUR OVER TO WITNESS AND TELL HIM NO NO NO EVER
AFTER THAT CALL THE POLICE...if u still need get a restraint...your domain n'est pas?
2006-10-16 06:14:48 · answer #10 · answered by debbi67 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋