My and girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 6 months and we've been taking things slow. Im 18 and she is 17. I want to go farther with her than just making out but how do I know if she is ready/wants to? She I ask her...if so how do i bring it up? Or should I just make a move and see what happens?
2006-10-16 05:58:37 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ask her, and RESPECT her answer. If you don't plan on respecting her answer, then you shouldn't have asked her in the first place.
2006-10-16 06:01:50 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is always a delicate decision. Here's the stuff I know that you should consider:
1) Ready for fatherhood? No birth control option is 100% effective. Sorry, know it seems old-fashioned to mention it, but this is true, and should be part of your decision. If you are ready to chance fatherhood, is she ready to risk motherhood? It's a possibility, even the first time, so it should be part of your decision.
2) Let's say you are - you've been dating for 6 months, - in your opinion, is she mature enough to handle it? Let's face it, once you have sex, a part of the relationship becomes ABOUT sex - whether to have it again, etc. It kind of short-circuits the early stages of the relationship in that a large part of it is no longer about getting to know each other - it's about sex. If you know each other well enough that taking that shortcut isn't an issue, then okay.
3) How do you know if she's ready or wants to? Ready -- you have to get to know her well enough to know if she's mature enough to handle sex and everything that comes with it - birth control (which you don't leave to her, if you're smart), continuing to have a sane, healthy relationship that includes sex.
Wants to? You ask her. Without pressure, with no "if you loved me, you would." Simply and honestly, you ask her if she's interested in going that far now, and feels ready - then you let her think about it.
4) Where? The first time - even if it's just your first time together - deserves preparation, thought, better than the back seat of your car. It's special, and so is she, so you treat it that way.
That's how you know if she, and you, are ready -- and there's nothing wrong with not being ready, on either side. That sexual tension you have together BEFORE you have sex is also pretty fun, and doesn't come back.
Points to you for thinking about this beforehand! Good luck!
2006-10-16 06:09:55 · answer #2 · answered by peculiarpup 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you planning on getting married to her?
I know you don't want to hear this, but I am going to go out on a limb here since you have waited 6 months it is obvious that you respect this girl, so you might as well keep it going.
It is much more important to enjoy spending time together, doing fun things together, she should be your best friend first, then your lover (even better if she becomes your wife in between - but I realize we don't live in a perfect world)
Trust me once your relationship becomes sexual, it will seem great for a while, but soon that will be what your whole realtionship is about, and it won't stay new and exciting forever.
Had she already been intimate with someone else? Or has she been waiting for a gentle man who respects her enough to wait?
You only get to "do it" the first time with someone one time...don't ruin it by rushing into it.
2006-10-16 06:18:39 · answer #3 · answered by alidansma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys have never talked about it i can almost guarantee that she is not ready. You need to ask her how she feels about you and if she thinks that she is ready...tell her that it doesn't matter if she is ready or not...because you will always care for her. Support her and try not to push her into anything....just give it time.
2006-10-16 06:04:06 · answer #4 · answered by calibeauty3698 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6 MONTHS.....18 and 17!!!!!! Why not ask the Preacher or pastor or priest or whoever you visit twice a day...who allowed yo unsupervised onto a computer.Jesus Wept you should not be allowed to breed
2006-10-16 06:02:16 · answer #5 · answered by JoyDivision 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you could always TALK about it in a neutral setting and explore each other's thoughts and feelings about the subject.
NO, that doesn't mean when you've got your hand in her skivvies.
"making a move" shows that you're immature and insensitive and NOT ready for sexual activity.
2006-10-16 06:03:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely don't just go it... it will prolly make her mad.. I'm a girl and if would make me respect the guy alot more if he asked me and respected me when i answered... and if she says shes not ready then just wait it out and DON'T HASSLE HER!
2006-10-16 06:03:00 · answer #7 · answered by --Br0oklYn-- 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you make a move and she is not ready, be prepared to be slapped silly. Talk to her.
2006-10-16 06:04:40 · answer #8 · answered by Miss J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when your making out what are your hands doing. the next time you make out with her try feeling her out as well,if she doesn't want you to do this she will stop you
2006-10-16 06:03:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
here's an idea never ask her just go with it when she is turned on, she won't want to stop going if u know what i mean
2006-10-16 06:01:43 · answer #10 · answered by Armando Arredondo 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋