my boyfriend and i have a healthy sex life, to start out. but i have caught him looking at stuff on the internet quite a bit lately. i know he is faithful, he works hard and goes to school and comes home. but lately it has been a lot, and even though he knows it bothers me wont stop him. he says he will stop, but i keep catching him. and he looks at bikini models, not porn, and gets off on it. is this acceptable? is it a red flag? what do i do?
2006-10-16 05:34:38 · 24 answers · asked by yankeesarethechamps 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's harmless. I look at porn with my boyfriend all the time, and I don't care if he looks at women online because i'm a very confident woman, and I know i'm a good woman to him, and we have a wonderful sex life. If you are doing everything right at home then you have nothing to worry about. This stuff is just fantasy, and it's also fun. It's much better than him cheating physically with someone. This will bring your relationship closer and it will also be more stable because he won't feel the need to do things behind your back. Just chill out and have fun with him.
2006-10-16 05:40:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not just bikini models.. those are just the ones he has up when you are around.
he is also looking at porn.. and most likely getting off on it.
And you know what? unless its somethning violent or illeage (underage, animals, etc).. its pretty healthy and harmless.
Look at it this way.... he may learn some things from it and can bring it back to your sex life!!
why not sit down with him and view it with him sometime.. see what he likes... and find out what you like... it will add a lot more to your sex life!!!
btw.. he will never quit looking... even if he tells you he will quit.. he will just become better at covering his tracks.
2006-10-16 05:39:37 · answer #2 · answered by .... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
THis may not seem like a big deal right now but it can actually set into something bigger later on down the line. He is living in a fantasy and may build more expectations of you worst to caome if you cant feel those bigger expectations he may seek out into temptation. It is best to get to the core of the situation now and set your foot down. How long is he going to say he will? That could go on forever as long he can get away with it. This should be something he can give up if he values his relationship with you.You should be more important
2006-10-16 05:42:54 · answer #3 · answered by louise23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard for women to understand why men look at porn, etc. because women are aroused by different things than men. Let me ask you this...do you read romance novels? Even if you don't, do you think that it is wrong for a woman to read them? I'm guessing you answered no, and I would agree with you. Men are visual animals, we are aroused by visual cues...pictures, videos, etc. of things that we think are arousing. Women, on the other hand, are usually aroused by feelings (which you cannot usually get from a picture), such arousing things can sometimes be romance novels, romance movies...whatever gives you that feeling that causes you to think about sex. With men, it is visual...whatever gives them that visual that causes them to think about sex.
So, in answer to your question...the fact that he looks at arousing pictures of other women (or men, whatever his flavor) is not in itself inappropriate, assuming he is just using it to get aroused and only has sex with you. It would not be fair for you to say that he can't look at pictures because you don't...because you are different animals. Now, if he has replaced his interest in you with his interest in the pictures/videos, then I would be concerned. If that is the case, then he may no longer be interested. However, please don't mistake this with him being jaded by your sex life...which is repairable. If he is flat out not interested in you anymore...then it is probably time to move on. However, if he is merely jaded by the intimate things that you two have been doing for a long time...then I would suggest spicing it up a little. Do something visual...thats what gets guys going (like wear some special outfit that he would like...maybe a bikini in this case if that is what he is always looking at). You may be surprised, but most of the time (assuming the guy is not a scumbag) guys are looking at these pictures thinking "I wish my girl would wear/do that with me". Can you imagine if you did? YOU would be his fantasy...a win-win situation. It is only fair that if you do this for him, you should be able to ask for a little more romance as well, if you like.
2006-10-16 05:48:23 · answer #4 · answered by Kevin P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the gym lose some weight and get a nice tan and buy a new bikini. That might work and even if it doesnt it wont have been wasted time as somone else will like the way you look.
2006-10-16 05:39:33 · answer #5 · answered by Fox Hunter 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i imagine human beings might want to have a adverse view of her makeup because it is so % up and it type of feels a lot extra severe without seeing the finished photo and what apparently like in authentic life. at the same time as she takes the images she makes particular this is shot so as that the colorations seem brighter and extra bright so that you will see that the information of her paintings. it will be a lot extra subdued once you spot it in man or woman. i imagine the 2d photo is a lot less wearable, yet it is in basic terms how editorial makeup is going. makeup is carried out severe and way more advantageous than what the similar old man or woman might want to positioned on because this is meant to make a lasting effect. After by using the truth that photo, the target market is meant to be left questioning "hmm, perhaps I might want to attempt a blue eyeshadow or a blue eyeliner or a blue mascara." no longer that they could unavoidably attempt that correct seem, notwithstanding this is meant to inspire the target market. solid success!
2016-12-04 21:37:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looking is natural and healthy.
It sounds like there's a deeper problem at work here. You really don't trust him...and it sounds like he is making a commitment to you and not following thru.
You should talk to an unbiased person to help resolve this...like a relationship counselor.
The red flag - you won't feel any better until you resolve your jealousy...and your relationship won't be any better until he resolves his inability to keep his word to you.
2006-10-16 05:45:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it's ok... as long as hes not cheating on you...
but that would bother me too if my boyfriend would be looking at other girls...
i don't think thats any different if hes looking at girls at the mall or something.
I would just talk to him about it and tell him that it bothers you when he does that.
2006-10-16 05:48:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you believe you need to do, based on your feelings about it. If it really bothers you and he refuses to get help, then he isn't honoring your relationship. Porn may be a sign of something more troubling with him.
2006-10-16 05:40:23 · answer #9 · answered by heyrobo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its natural for men to look at other women, but if he's doing it alot and hiding it from you thats wrong. Just confront him about it and hopefully he'll respect your feelings about the whole thing, and stop looking or at least stop looking so much.
2006-10-16 05:39:59 · answer #10 · answered by Cait 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋