For the first time in my life I have two men asking me out at the same time I'm currently getting divorced and I have two kids, one of them is a person I worked with nearly 10 years ago, who was widowed a few years ago with a young daughter, he has a kind face and he makes me laugh every minute of the day, the other is a bachelor who we share hobbies and interests, have interlectual conversations, but I don't find him attractive in anyway?
Which is better in a relationship, interlectual conversations or fun, family and romance?
2006-10-16 05:31:39 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
widower. He smart, funny, and you obviously find that one attractive and he also has a child and so understands the situation your in. If you dont fancy someone, it'll never work, even if you get on great. Attraction is the first eye catcher after all.
2006-10-16 07:23:08 · answer #1 · answered by Kerry B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well before i read this I would say the bachelor because the widow might just be a rebound, but now that I have read it it seems like you and the widow have more fun together and although you and the bachelor may have a lot of things in common if you eventually go "steady" with him and you have no atraction to him you may end up regreting it. Take some time and get to know the widow outside of the workplace you never know it may work out.
Good Luck
2006-10-16 05:38:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No idea why this happens, but every women I know who gets divorced tells me men are around them like a honey pot. Something to do I suspect with them being available and some how perceived as "up for it". And perhaps vulnerable?? The other side is I have had some bad experiences with women coming out of divorce. So serious advice is to just go and have some fun! Learn who you are again as a single person. Regain perhaps some of that confidence. Don't rush. For your sake. And the blokes.
To sum up. I would go for a right good honest f******
2006-10-16 06:44:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a hard choice to make. Does the widow talk about his "wife" often? I dated a widow briefly and he used to mention his wife and how much they loved each other. After a while I felt like the 3rd person in the room. Like she was still there. How does his daughter take to you? She might let you know that you aren't her mom and resent you. You will always have to deal with her love for her mother. Unlike divorce he won't have hated his "ex". He will have happy times that he will tell daughter about. I have gone out with people that aren't attractive. You have to think that as we age...we might not be as hot as we were in our 20's. You could just go out with both for a week, just to see which one you had a better time with. There is no harm in that. I wish you happy time ahead!
2006-10-16 05:46:00 · answer #4 · answered by hard rock girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go for the widowed one. Not only do you find him attractive, but he has a child that can Hang around with your children so that she will not feel left out, even if she is young. You cant be in a relationship if there is not attraction. Always put family first too. His daughter needs someone too. Good luck.
2006-10-16 05:36:44 · answer #5 · answered by gin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can always find hobbies and interestes to share, but someone who makes you laugh is priceless! I would go for the widower, also what good is a new relationship if you don't find the other person attractive?
2006-10-16 07:10:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't seem thrilled by either option. My advice is to wait until someone comes along--that someone may excite you without your getting input from anyone. And keep in mind...that when the relationship ends you'll still be coming in contact with them. You may value their friendship more than you would a dating relationship. You are going to need the support of friends at this time since you're newly divorced. They will both understand if you need more time to figure things out at this time--and you probably do. It's tempting to jump into a new relationship now--we all need distractions--but proceed with caution. Good luck.
2006-10-16 05:36:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't find the one attractive then I would think why would you even want him???? However you are getting a divorce there is no need to rush. You are allowed to date them both and more people to see what is out there before you make a decision like getting married again. So take your time and have fun and explor all your options. Have fun
Shawna
2006-10-16 05:33:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not date both for a while? A date isn't a proposal of marriage is it? The time you spend with each of these men will help you decide who you want to spend more time with.
Maybe throw a couple of more men into the mix too so you can be sure that you are getting the best available.
2006-10-16 05:36:32 · answer #9 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The widower has loved and lost his love through no fault of his own, the bachelor (depending on age) hasn't had a long term relationship and may find it difficult, especially with children involved
2006-10-16 06:00:52 · answer #10 · answered by Grit Savage 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋