Just to explain: I was wasted when this happened, and I've never done anything like this before. I've never had a one night stand till now..... and it was a HUGE mistake. I love my boyfriend; I was his first everything and we've been talking about getting married and spending the rest of our lives together. BTW, we are in a long-distance relationship right now. I'm so guilty, sad, and miserable. I've told him, and he is staying with me (thank goodness!), but I don't know what I can do to make things better. I'm not gonna drink anymore, or even party with guys at least for awhile......Please help.
2006-10-16 05:23:29 · 35 answers · asked by Amanda S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well you've taken the first step by confronting him with the issue. If he's willing to still be with you after all of this, you have to realize exactly how much he loves you because trust isn't something that is easily earned. You can say that you won't drink or party with guys for a while, but clearly something was missing for you to do this. You got to the point where you lost your inhibitions and forgot that you were in a relationship...ask yourself why that happened. You said that you don't know what you can do to make things better, the answer is simple...if you are that in love with him and sincerely regret your indiscretion, do whatever it takes...only you will know how and what to do. Good luck.
2006-10-16 05:29:23 · answer #1 · answered by coolguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am also in a Long distance relationship, so I know it can be hard to be in one, but also a very good thing. I tell my gf everything and we talk about it until it is cleared up, no matter how long it may take. Make sure you are always open with him and let him know that you do love him and how sorry you are, and never let it happen again. I know it will be hard to move on from here, but if you truly love each other you need to make sure you both can move past this before you get married or it will get in the way of your marriage, and the marriage may not last.
Talk to him everyday and see him as often as you can, and let him know in small ways that you do love him, and stay away from the guy you had the one night stand with. Do everything you can so the both of you can move on from this mistake. It will be very hard, I know how he feels, because my first wife cheated on me, and now we are divorced. So make sure you both talk it all out.
May God Bless
2006-10-16 05:51:11 · answer #2 · answered by petey43 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey girl,
Theres not really much more you can do or anything for that matter it seems as if you got a good head on your shoulder because you are already doing the right thing. Try not to stop your whole life though you don't want to stop hanging out with guys all together because of that one incident just be careful about what your doing because they will take advantage of it.
The whole marriage thing, be careful with that too. I was in a long distance relationship and my bf and i loved each other and I ended up getting cheated on really badly, after I had gotten arrested for him and gotten pregnant. Just be careful in what you decide, and make sure you both know what you want.
Take care.
2006-10-16 05:30:07 · answer #3 · answered by Nezza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm impressed that you were honest about your mistake. Now...it's time to forgive yourself. The important thing at this point is to make sure that you learn from the mistake so that it's not repeated. It sounds like you've learned the dangers of mixing alcohol and the opposite sex. Also, you have to be responsible and get checked for STD's just in case--at least I would suggest that. And...are you sure no one slipped something into your drink. I only wondered about that b/c you seemed confused as to how this situation came about; did you know the person before that night; did you know the other friends you were with. Time is the only thing that will alleviate your guilt. We all use bad judgment at some time in our lives. Take care--check in with a school counselor if you continue to feel bad.
2006-10-16 05:28:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea, I don't think alcohol is an excuse, but what you did is done, so there's no point in looking back. I'm glad you told your boyfriend because he deserved to know the truth and to be able to make his own decision based upon how he felt. Considering you two are staying together for now, all you can do is give it time. However, just because you messed up doesn't mean that he rules the relationship now. You need to decide also how you feel and if what you want is to stay together. Good luck.
2006-10-16 05:34:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You certainly did the right thing by telling him. He's going to be paranoid for a while so for heaven's sake don't give him any reason to be. Watch for signs of him becoming controlling, asking more often where you're going and what you're doing. Normally, a very bad sign, but it's to be expected in this case. As for what you should do, you need to provide as much reassurance as possible whenver he shows signs of insecurity, but also help the healing along by getting him to talk about how he's feeling whenever he shows signs of being distant.
He may have said he's staying with you, and he may intend to for now, but this can change with time because the hurt isn't going to go away immediately. This being a long-distance relationship certainly doesn't help matters; if you can visit more often then you most definitely should. This relationship is hanging by a thread, so you'll have to be very attentive to not have it snap.
Good luck.
2006-10-16 05:28:52 · answer #6 · answered by James L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not partying with guy... for a while... and then you will go back to drinking and cheating. You are asking for strangers to tell you things to make you feel better. The truth is you cheated and you need to live with it. If he would have done the same, we would be reading a different reaction here. You need to make up for it. You really do. What you did was wrong and I would have never forgiven you, this was no mere accident, you placed yourself in a vulnerable possition and you should consider NEVER going out with other guys and getting drunk because now we all know how it will end
2006-10-16 05:28:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have a great guy if he decided to stay with you. Just be prepared for him not trusting you anymore. You will probably fight alot more because theres always that thought of you cheating on him in the back of his mind. If you really love him and want to save this relationship then you need to show him in every possible way that your all about him and also that you dont drink or chill with guys when he's not around. Consider yourself very lucky that he's sticking around.
2006-10-16 05:33:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rebuilding broken trust is one of the hardest things to do in a relationship. You need to sit down and have a really long talk with your man and find out exactly how he feels, and what he thinks should happen next. He was the victim here, so what he says goes. You gave up the right to argue his decision when you cheated on him. Oh, and get tested for std's. There are many that are still transmittable even when using condoms.
2006-10-16 05:27:03 · answer #9 · answered by rmdndangerous 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes such things happen when one wishes to address a problem within a relationship, but do not know how.
From the sounds of it, the problem is long-distance - why are you separate, and how long for ?
Maybe he is getting a chance to grow up, (you say you are his first everything, so I guess he is fairly young).
Anyhow - good luck girl, try to trust yourself more, and to rely less on guys and inebriates.
2006-10-16 05:50:18 · answer #10 · answered by Aspphire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋