My little problem is, that i think i scare guys off(I certainly did with the two previous guys i liked). i've never had a boyfriend, though i'm 18 years old. I'm beginning to think that i'm a bit freak or ugly or smth like that. My problem is my low self asteem. I'm avarege looking, but i'm clever, i know that, but i'm so clumsy, when it comes to guys. Now i met this guy, he's really sweet and clever, and would be perfect for me, and i really don;t want to ruin things. I like him, but he considers me as a friend. I've known him for 4 weeks, but i REALLY want to know him better, i don't know if i want something really serious from him or just to know him. I certainly like him, and can imagine him as my bf. I don't want to be pushy, smth descreate. i meet this guy almost every day, and can easyly talk to him. I really don't want to scare him off!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-16 05:08:57 · 19 answers · asked by wendy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok. if i wait, how on earth will i know if we go to the next level, what if i want to, and he doesn't, if it never crosses his mind to accept me as a woman not as a person? I'm a bit afraid if i keep things like this he will accept me as a friend and we will stay thatway forever...
2006-10-16 07:52:20 · update #1
you seem like a nice person and as you mention you have low selfesteem. I would advise you to work on yourself as a person. and when the lord is ready to bring someone into your life that person will accept you for you..I know that this is not the kind of answer you are looking for since you are only 18 years old and this is the time when a girl should be dating and having fun. if he considers you only a friend then accept that (I know it is a hrad thing to do when you have feelings for someone) maybe in the long run he will want something more but just be you.
2006-10-16 05:29:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to work on your self-esteem. Why do you consider yourself ugly? or a freak? Next time you're at the shopping mall, take a look at the couples - and pay attention to the females you consider ugly, and look at the blokes they are with.
Guys like different types of women. Some like blonde slim, and others like plump figures. I know a pencil-thin guy who married a plump female.
Also, look at a female (not on TV) who you consider attractive, and pay close attention - you will find imperfections in her.
A good resource for tackling poor self-esteem is Dr Burns "10 Days to Great Self Esteem" book. It uses cognitive behavioural therapy to tackle the destructive thoughts which fuel low self-esteem.
2006-10-16 09:14:52 · answer #2 · answered by nemesis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be yourself and try to chill out when you are around him if you feel nervous, let him persue you, dont give yourself away too quickly, let him wonder about you and want to get to know you more too-- you say you have only known him for 4 weeks, which isnt' really a long time, wait a little longer and get used to being around him, that way you wont worry about scaring him off, but believe in yourself--if you dont, nobody will. im sure you aren't ugly, have some faith and confidence in yourself. good luck!, and remember that you are, still only 18, you will gain more experience with guys as you get older.
2006-10-16 05:14:06 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs.♥ Krasinski 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is your friend, so he must like you. You have only known him for 4 weeks, so its not really long enough to compartmentalise you as 'just a friend'.........so ask him for coffee and see what happens, you will regret it if you don't. And lets face it the worst he can do is say no, that would make you feel down, but then theres a 50/50 chance that he will say yes. Go fot it and good luck.
2006-10-16 05:22:07 · answer #4 · answered by crissylizb06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really doubt that you are a freak or ugly. I don't believe there is any ugly people out there. it just depends on how you use your beautiful looks. If you really like this guy, then just let him know, ask him how he feels. what do you have to loose? and if he doesn't feel the same way that you do, then just let him know that you always want to be friends and that you don't want this to ruin it. you are just letting him know how you feel.
Good Luck. And remember, you are a beautiful woman inside and out. Everyone is. God doesn't make ugly people.
2006-10-16 05:14:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First things first, this aint a lifetime problem. your only ypung so you have your life ahead of u. dont worry, be yourfelf, enjoy your life whilst your young.
i personally think u should ask him out for a drink sometime. if it works, great, go out together more, if not, no harm done. just put it down to life. it wont be the end of the world. fine another bloke, some one who will love and cherish you. time is most definitely on your side. im sure u wont scare him off. just be yourself, act naturally and he'll fall for you.
good luck!!
2006-10-16 08:55:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him out. Most women seem to think that it's up to the men to ask but men like being asked too. I know I do. You have more to gain than loose. If he breaks contact after that then he isn't good enough for you and not worth having a relationship with. In my case I am still good friends with all the women who refused to date me my only loss has been with bad breakups with ex-girlfriends. I don't talk to those ex-girlfriends but then I don't want too.
Good Luck
2006-10-16 05:22:21 · answer #7 · answered by John T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you want to do is just take things slowly don't force anything if you move to fast you might scare him off also try not to appear too interested because he might mistake this for desperation and also try to have more confidence in yourself you sound like a cool person just act naturally take things one step at a time and when the time is right then let him know how you feel
2006-10-16 05:14:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then just be yourself with him and see what naturally develops between you. Don't push it in any particular direction. Don't focus that way. Just take time to come to know each other. If it starts seeming to head in a certain romantic direction, let it-- you'll see it. If it doesn't, just enjoy each others' presence in each others' lives for whatever the reason, however long it lasts.
2006-10-16 05:48:26 · answer #9 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself and see what developes. If you start thinking about things too hard it'll make you nervous and then clumsy. Take it a step at a time and if he's interested things will soon develop at their own pace. God luck xx
2006-10-16 05:12:24 · answer #10 · answered by starlet108 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋