my husband is very demanding what he says goes i had him arrested 4 years ago for hitting my son by a previous marriage my son then was 24 and my husband 34 my son only dropped the charges cos he said i would be paying the price as my husband would have to pay him compensation since then he has called my daughter who is now 18 and myself names and can be very abusive to us so much so that now my daughter is moving away to live with her boyfriend i still have 2 smaller children who are from this marriage they are 12 and 10 and i am now worried how he is going to be with them he wont even make a coffee he is now getting his 10 year old to make it he swears a lot at us and makes me cry a lot i would love to leave but i own half of our house and he said he would let all my animals loose if i did it would be easier if he would go but he says he has nowhere to go so we seem to be lumbered with him he says i have got to work more when my daughter leaves to pay more bills any advice........
2006-10-16 04:38:24 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Start gathering evidence. Everything he says or does abusive keep a journal of the dates and times. Then get a restraining order and make sure that you can stay in the house with the children, and that he is not allowed there. Last get a great private lawyer. I do not recommend legal aide or public lawyers - get a private one that specializes in divorce. It's worth every penny because he will make sure you get the entire house and that piece of scum will get nothing. Some private lawyers will work out payment plans if you're low on cash.
2006-10-16 04:54:42 · answer #1 · answered by artist2213 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not make a man change his ways. If he treats you like crap and everything has to be done *his way*. If he threatens you, hurts you, and you are afraid for yourself and your children, then why are you still with him? Kick him out. It doesn't matter that he has no place to go. Make him leave. I am not even going to suggest marriage counseling because it sounds like therapy won't work for him. Sometimes divorce is the only answer. You need to think about your kids. Do you really want this type of man to be influencing your children? Do you really want these kids growing up in such an unhappy home? I doubt there is any love left in your marriage, and if you don't love and respect each other then it's time to end it.(he does not respect you) Don't stay together *for the kids* and don't keep living together and hate each other. It's time to stop the crazyness in your house and clense your soul, mind and heart. Get rid of the sumb!tch.
2006-10-16 04:55:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him! You cannot continue to put you or your kids through this. It's not fair on either of you. The threat about the animals just shows what kind of a guy he really is.
If you're worried about the animals, then ask your local animal shelter if they can mind them for a while till you get a new place.
Do you have womens respite centres where you would be able to stay on a temporary basis or any family, friends who would help out?
Make your plan. Arrange for somewhere to go without telling him and when he's out arrange for the animals to be moved, then you go too.
You will have a much better life and so will your kids.
It will be scary at first but you CAN do it.
He will probably beg you to come back but don't even consider it or you will be back to square one again!
Lots of luck.
2006-10-16 05:36:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a temporary home for your animals before you do this. Look into a divorce/seperation through an attorney. You can start proceedings and try to get a restraining order against your husband based on his abuse. Don't worry about whether or not he has a place to go. He is grown man and should be able to take care of himself. If he was that concerned then he wouldn't be abusive toward you and your children. And my God anyone who would threaten to release the woman he love's animals is a bastard who deserves no consideration.
2006-10-16 04:48:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a hold of Protective Services, or whatever they are called in your state. Tell them what has been going on and ask for their help. Get some help from the state if necessary and get an attorney. You don't need to put up with that kind of treatment and your children shouldn't be either. Help them and help yourself by getting the heck out of there. You will all be happier and healthier in the long run. I wish you all the best.
2006-10-16 05:35:59 · answer #5 · answered by grannyhuh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know the answer. Get rid of him. He doesn't deserve you. He's rude, disrespectful and doesn't appreciate anything. Things will be hard at first, but eventually you will be better off. It will be just a bad memory. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. Maybe it was all a learning experience and now it's time to find someone who is going to respect you and your kids more than that.
2006-10-16 04:58:07 · answer #6 · answered by bpatrol38 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abuse is NEVER acceptable! If you didn't notice, you use the word "but" alot.....that means that you are an enabler. You enable this man to abuse not only you but also your children.
It is the hardest thing in the world to do but you need to leave him...and like previous answers I suggest you get your ducks in a row. Get a great lawyer and take care of your animals before you kick this guy out of your life!
God bless you and your kids!
2006-10-16 04:53:40 · answer #7 · answered by Buff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first step should be to talk to a lawyer without your husbands knowledge. Tell him the whole situation not leaving anything out. This way you can get advice to what steps will be taken. The lawyer might make it where he has to move out until the divorce is final, or you move out until it's final. At least you would know then what your next move should be and start making plans.
2006-10-16 05:03:36 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd get out of this marriage real quick. Contact a lawyer and tell him/her what all is going on and file for a divorce and get a restraining order on him. Theres no need to stay and try to make it work because it never will. You need to have your children in a better environment instead of around this physco.Good Luck.
2006-10-16 05:21:24 · answer #9 · answered by BadAssGirlINWV 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can always get another place to live but you can't find peace of mind where you are. If you allow this man to abuse you, it will only get worse. I would rather own nothing than live with an abusive husband. Leave! Run! Don't look back!!
2006-10-16 07:20:55 · answer #10 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋