If you promise somebody sthing, but you cant keep it, the ques..... is wat shall you do..by not hurting them?

Question

for i.e
promise that education before marriage but cant so no good in education.
to quit smoking but still doing it.

Answer 1

I found by experience sometime ago that a person should never make a promise to someone unless they are sure that they can keep it. I cannot overstate the inportance of following through on what you say you will do -- it has everything to do with a person's character and credibility.

I does happen from time to time that, despite knowing that you could deliver on a promise you make, we sometimes cannot due to something out of our control. For example, say you promised that you would be there to the wedding rehearsal promptly at 7 pm -- you got ready for it early and left the house in plenty of time to arrive early -- and then you have an accident en route at 6:45 pm. You made the effort to follow through with your promise to be there -- you didn't just lightly blow them some words on good intentions and then lay around the house until 6:30 then threw something on and broke speed records to get there, causing the accident.

Knowing your limitations is tricky -- quitting smoking is very hard to do, something that only a tenacious, hard-working, strong-minded person can achieve. A good education is the same way; one has to make their mind up at the start that they will do it, period. Are you up for the challenge?

When you make an honest promise, followed with an honest effort to deliver, and you are honestly hindered on delivering it, then an honest explanation to the people involved is in order. If you just made a promise to get someone off your back and really did not give an effort to back it up, then your credibility is damaged and that is serious.

It is so, so important that we work hard to be someone whose word can be depended on. If someone is recognized early as one who makes light on promises, then it will have repercussions on their character, and that could come back to haunt them.

Answer 2

Never make a promise you can't keep. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

In the end, you have to be honest. Hurt or no hurt. Honesty hurts the least.

Having a deadline like marriage though, that IS a biggie.

So you don't have an MBA, what about apprenticship? Skilled labour is a fantastic career if the books aren't for you. Look into electrician, carpentry, plumbing, heating, mechanics, all these are great career choices, and may be more suited to you.

Renegotiate the original promise. Figure out if it was made because this person wants to be married to a legal eagle or simply wants a secure future (reasonable especially in todays world requiring dual income family)

But whatever happens keep trying, for heaven's sake. Education? Smoking? whatever the goal, it sounds like its worth it to YOU to keep trying.

Move the goal posts closer i..e start with a course you enjoy (art, photography, mechanics, carpentry) even if they don't help out on a resume, they are pulling YOU closer by accomplishing something. As your confidence builds go for another more academic course you think you can handle. Take your time, I work at a university, and there are hundreds of 'middle aged' undergrads plugging away at thier degrees. This takes grit!

Education is vital, whether its an apprenticeship, your high school equivalency, college diploma or university degree... it is well worth the effort. Don't be discouraged by difficulty, hang tough, figure out what you want and go for it.

If its smoking... well, you do have to keep trying. Believe me I know how tough it is. Try reading a book by Allan Carr, 'The EasyWay to quit smoking'. It worked for my husband, and its a great place to start.




In the end, just do it.

Answer 3

Apologize for not keeping your promises. Then try to find something else to do with your education, maybe something your more intune with. Be honest with her. If she loves you, it shouldn't keep her from marrying you. Smoking is a hard habit to break. If she's never been a smoker then she has no idea. Just don't give up on trying. Nobody is perfect and she shouldn't expect you to be.

Answer 4

It is nobody else's business what you do with your life. Poliltely apologize for promising something, and explain that you simply can't keep it. Period.

Answer 5

Be honest with that person and try to find a compromise

Answer 6

NEXT TIME, DON'T PROMISE SIMPLY SAY I'LL TRY!!