im soon to be married everything is going well,sex is good,shes very beautiful and funny.but whenever im not with her i feel the urge to sleep with other women and i act on this with a string of exs.i get no satisfaction from this,making love to my fiance is million times better.after i cheat i feel worse and swear to myself il never do it but i do.can anyone help i dont want to lose her,
2006-10-16 03:28:46 · 42 answers · asked by jonas 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you really think its an illness seek medical help...I would postpone the wedding if you don't solve this problem ( unless shes a very very understanding lady) I can`t see you marriage lasting...to be honest tho I tend to think you are weak willed and looking for an excuse for appalling immoral behavior..I hope you at least have the sense to have protected sex...
2006-10-16 03:32:50 · answer #1 · answered by geordie.lady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are going to be married soon. You may be addicted to sex, but if you are, why don't you just have more of that fabulous sex with your fiance? You shouldn't get married until this is under control. Are you sure you really love this woman? Do you think you will never get caught? And when you do, how many lives will you have ruined? If you really believe this is an addiction then you owe it to yourself and your fiance to get some help. You are so afraid of losing her if she finds out so come clean and tell her before somebody else does and let her know you are trying to get help for it. Sexual addiction is no different than any other addiction. You need professional help. How would you feel if, after having sex with an ex, you had sex with your fiance and ended up being HIV pos.? That would definitely ruin her life and the life of many others.
2006-10-16 03:49:15 · answer #2 · answered by leigh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can answer this but the answer is not going to be nice.
It sounds like you have some serious self esteem issues. Were you neglected as a child? You probably did not get enough affetction. Either that or you have a huge ego which needs constant reinforcement from external situations.
When someone says they cheat just for the sake of it like you seem to be doing it sounds like they are doing it to know 'that they can'. They need that reassurance and one person can't give them that which they so desire…..acceptance. This is why you do it even though the sex is better with your fiance. You need that ego boost.
There are people berating you for your question and I do not blame them because what you are doing is very hurtful and cruel to your fiance but for some people this can be a serious problem, the urges are sometimes overwhelming, like a heroin addiction.
You have two options…..
Continue to cheat, get caught, end up alone with only a string of meaningless sl&ts to call upon.
Stop cheating, devote yourself to the great fortune you have a 'lovely, funny' fiance as you put it and lead a happy life. Some people would give anything to be in that situation.
2006-10-16 03:43:42 · answer #3 · answered by abluebobcat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, i think before you get married you really need to be honest with your fiance and let her know that you have slept around. if you dont tell her it will be found out anway by her-woman are not stupid and always know when something is going on!
maybe you are commitment phobic and you are deeply scared of settling down-after all if your cheating now-and your supposed to ba in a commited relationship-ou will cheat when you are married. a ring on your finger will not stop this!
maybe someone has cheated on you i the past and really hurt you or it could stem from your childhood-your parents relationship etc.
i think at the minute marriage is not an option until you work out why you continue to sleep with other woman-you should see your gp so he can refer you for some sort of councelling or therapy, it is a illness and although you feel you cant help it, you can be honest with your fiance and stop the hurt she will feel in the long run. maybe she will forgive you eventualy-you could go to relate together.
hope this sort of helps
good luck
rachel
2006-10-16 03:36:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm sounds like you do need professional help, you must be insecure in a part of your life to keep having sex and you mention with a string of ex's so you like to keep it a bit familiar too. You must either stop now to prevent breaking your wife to be heart and losing everything or end the relationship before it goes any further. if you get professional help shes going to find out or be suspicious at least as you'll be keeping it private - tricky.
2006-10-16 03:58:09 · answer #5 · answered by caroline b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like an fool. Why do you have a female pal interior the 1st place in case you sleep around besides? you need to learn some resposibilities and the thank you to understand and manage a woman. And a considerable ingredient, get some self administration. you're 31, sufficiently previous and unsightly sufficient to correctly known greater desirable. this could be a waste of a existence..and a stupid question. saying to us please act like mature adults...awaken! you're so immature..the only way i'm able to respond to this question is to be immature.
2016-10-19 11:59:40 · answer #6 · answered by briscoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Acknowledging you have a problem is already half-way to solving it. Ignore the judgemental replies on this site.
You are going through a cycle, and may find the web site attached to this posting to be very helpful. It explains in perfect english the psychological aspect of sexual addictions.
2006-10-16 09:19:57 · answer #7 · answered by nemesis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up you a*shole! you have a great woman that doesnt deserve you. if you feel that way then you shouldnt be marrying her at all. if you meant what you said about not losing her then why are you still doing it?
how the hell have you managed to not get caught. you seem to have not grown out of the 'sewing the wild oats' satge of your life yet. get over it and be a man. because i dont know any teenager that woud be doing what you are doing. let alone when you are soon to marry
you should be ashamed of yourself. remember why you are marrying her. go through those vows and ask yourself..... can i keep to them?
" keep thee only unto her, for as long as you both shall live"
let us know what happens.... it would be a shame to waste this!
2006-10-16 03:35:42 · answer #8 · answered by Emma B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You give men the name (DOWG) Why get married if cheating is still in your bones? You claim you don't get any satisfaction from the sex, then why do you do it? I tend not to continue doing things that don't satisfy me. You must need psychotherapy, get checked out. By the way you're going, you may not have a penis to present to your bride on honeymoon night! You're not addicted to sex, your just sick.
2006-10-16 03:33:54 · answer #9 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need counseling, and you need to speak with your fiance. DO NOT give her the whole story, no need to hurt her. You are not this way by choice. I think a SA group would help you. There is something behind this, and that is what you need to find out. You are lacking something and using sex to fulfill it. Please get help. There is nothing like finding out your husband has cheated on you. Trust me it broke everything inside of me.
2006-10-16 03:33:37 · answer #10 · answered by mandylynn77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋