I have four boys, ages 12, 9, 7, and 5, they all have to share a bedroom because we live with my mom and step-dad. Their father is not in the picture right now. Lately, it seems like they are having trouble giving eachother boundries. It's hard to say, but I also think that they may be experimenting sexually with eachother. I know that sounds aweful and I am going to recieve horrible answers, but for the few of you who have maybe dealt with this in the past with your children, I would really appriciate advice. I have no clue how to handle this situation, and I want to deal with it the best that I can. Thank you for your serious answers only.
2006-10-16 03:12:20 · 17 answers · asked by Jeanne 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I haven't dealt with this, but I do know you should separate the boys to the best of your ability. If it is the older ones who are experimenting then speak to them and tell them about who are appropriate people to express a sexual interest in. Lots of boys do some experimenting this way, without it meaning a lifelong interest in other men. But I can understand your being disturbed by this. You simply must discuss this with them in a calm and rational way so you can get the full story. Do this with each boy alone and away from the house, so as to encourage honesty.
2006-10-16 03:25:15 · answer #1 · answered by justa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is there away you can give up your bedroom to the older two boys and maybe sleep on the couch. The kids are all different ages and i think they need to have two bedrooms instead one one. Put yourself in their shoes. Imagine you are at work and you have to share a small office with three other people, you are all going to get underfoot and start irritating each other. As for the sexual experimenting I believe most boys do that either with another brother or a friend don't make a huge deal about it . Tell the older two not to do it in front of the younger two. Good luck!
2006-10-16 04:18:47 · answer #2 · answered by c0mplicated_s0ul 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I grew up with 3 boys in a bed rm. 1 double bed for 2 of us and a twin for the 3rd. we got bunk beds at some point. We had fights I was the youngest and (I think) took the worst of it. We played games nothing sexual. You need hard rules how much help do you think your step dad could be. If he is a positive influence try to involve him. Men treat children especially boys different then women do. young boys NEED to be around a GOOD man. If he isn't a good man you need to set boundaries for each kid. Remember you can't treat the 12 yo like the 5 yo. It won't be easy I hope your parents can give you some help.
GOOD LUCK
2006-10-16 03:28:42 · answer #3 · answered by danzka2001 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is hard when you are trying to get your feet back on solid ground sometimes. I am sure it is difficult having to stay with family also.
Get a couple of loft beds to save on space. The older ones can be on the upper beds. Their bed is their personal space...everyone else if off limits. Try to make time for everyone to have their "own time" Maybe 30 minutes of alone time where they can go to the room and shut the door, and read, play a video game whatever where they have none of their brothers bugging them.
Put the younger boys to bed earlier than the older two, and maybe during this time you can catch up with the older ones...set aside a night for a game night or something. Maybe they need more attention from you since they are not getting it from anyone else.
2006-10-16 03:29:54 · answer #4 · answered by deerogre 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sexual exploration is not a terrible thing at that age. Talk to the 12 year old about his sexuality explain to him that he is going into puberty and that he will become more interested in sex and that he will need to masturbate and that this is okay but that all sex is private and personal and he needs to be modest around the other boys. It is one thing to compare size and let them see how each differs because of age but he should not be touching or playing with his brother and they should not be touching or playing with him. Then have a discussion on what you all can do to protect his privacy and give him private time for him self.
2006-10-17 08:27:29 · answer #5 · answered by Geo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing I would say is that you should get back together with your husband. You have to both take responsibility for bringing 4 children into the world. If he has gone away, get him back. I do not care whose "fault" this was, get back together immediately for the sake of the children.
Next, do not rely on your parents for support. Get a job!!! Keep the children in afterschool care so you can work full time.
Boys will play around sexually as they mature. It is not dangerous. However, the boys will have guilt feelings as they grow older and may not be able to have good marriages because of living 4 to a bedroom - thanks to your bad marriage.
Yes, you will be to blame for however this will mess up your boys in a psychosexual way. Get back with your husband to minimize the damage already done.
2006-10-16 10:20:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i became happy they donated that excursion bus over to a Black guy working for place of work , and josh had his image (the candidate) on the facets of the bus. happy they have been given out and supported this black guy! Even opened the dugger homestead for a gathering and fundraising crammed with black and white alike! Google dugger excursion bus, and spot the affection! I guess they could have a diverse attatude if a thug together with his pants under his butthole, and a gold tooth smile started sizing up all that clean rump roast ! old Jim Bob could have Tyrone by using the belt and neck, and toss him out the door! the youngsters are clever and huge stable finding, yet whilst the cuffs come off , and the fukkin is blessed! look out! All that frustration all of sudden will become a sexual tsunami ! i'm able to hearken to shouting! And mattress slats breaking aside like experience sticks!
2016-10-16 06:19:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, don't be too harsh on them, OK 7 & 5 is young but the other two are growing up, it's expected for boys to experiment, there is nothing at all wrong with it, ok, explain to the Boys that they are growing up and talk to them about Puberty and stuff, but don't punish the poor kids, it's not fair
2006-10-16 03:20:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about the experimentation, it is completely normal stage of life for your 12 yr old.... and his brothers are getting an early intro.
As for boundries.... as long as you have 4 kids in one room forget boundries. Watch old Brady Bunch re-runs.... if they couldn't do it in the 'ideal' family I don't think you are going to accomplish it either.
If it becomes too bad however, try moving into their room with them. The experimentation will stop, the fighting will stop, and sleeping in that close of quarters with your sons will motivate you into finishing up school and getting out of your parents house.
2006-10-16 03:59:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
why 4 kids AND isnt the father in the picture ( right now?)
you need to get a place of your own Or put 2 kids to a room- to separate
and you sleep on the couch
2006-10-16 03:21:30 · answer #10 · answered by Mopar Muscle Gal 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋