I could use some advice?

Question

This question is addressed to believers and non-believers alike. I have a close relative that is in the hospital he is very sick and could die. I am a believer in God and i am praying for his recovery. My questions are...What course do i take when explaning this to my son who is eleven. If we both pray for his recovery and if he should die how will i explain Gods lack of intervention? How do i answer the question "Why didnt God help him?" I have thought to leave religion out of the conversation completely to spare him the possible confusion (if something bad should happen) and instead explain to my son that sometimes bad things happen which we have no control over. I believe that god has given me everything and too leave him out of this is the same as saying i have no faith in him. This is the kind of situation that could destroy his future religious beliefs so i would appreciate honest answers from both sides. Thank you.(In advance)

Answer 1

why can't you just pray by yourself. I think that parents create problems for themselves. It sounds to me like you are trying to create a religious experience for your child. I am not religious, however, I do not agree with force feeding children ideas.

Answer 2

Why do you want non believers input to such a question? All they will tell you is "forget the prayer stuff it won't help"... This is a good time to teach your son about the differences in God's perfect will and our will. Either God is in charge and knows what He is doing and you face it or you regret the day your faith was born and start hating God like so many on Answers..Eleven years old is old enough to know that God's plan for each of our lives has a beginning and an end. As much as we want our loved one to be with us always it is not going to be that way in this life. That a reason Jesus came into the world to put away the sin that causes these terrible losses. You would be losing a wonderful opportunity to show the Grace of God though what ever happens to this relative... You know what to tell your son.. Jim

Answer 3

My mother was just released from the hospital after nearly a month's stay. She had bacterial pneumonia, and was in real danger of losing her life. She had several surgeries, a drain tube put into her chest, and was Life-Flighted to a better hospital. At 73 years of age, this was extremely difficult for her and everyone involved.

At no point did I tell my kids how sick she was. I believe in being honest with them, but if death is not a certainty, then what is the point of worrying them?

My kids are 21, 14, and 11 and I can promise you my 11 year old would have worried himself sick. As an atheist, I don't have to worry about fitting God into the equation, so you'll have to handle that as best suits you and your family.

I would just explain that the relative you speak of is very ill, and that you will all pray for a complete recovery. When your son asks if this person is going to die, answer honestly with "I don't know."

Unless, of course,you do know. Then you will have to explain that it is inevitable, and help him to cope.

Best to you and your family.

Answer 4

We do not know the mind of God in circumstances like this. I know it does not answer the question from our perspective as to why people are not healed when facing an illness leading to death regardless of how sincere our prayers are. You did not mention the spiritual state of this person, but if they were saved, we have hope beyond the grave in that death which must be faced by all, is not experienced for a second time at judgment time before the Great White throne. Your son needs to understand that we live in a fallen world and in a fallen world we face death through tragedy and sickness, but God has provided a way for those who believe that death of the physical body is not the final word. Believers are ushered into the presence of the Lord upon death. We may or may not have awareness, I don't know. The bible mentions those who are asleep in the Lord, so I would assume this would mean that we are indeed unconscious upon death but in the safe keeping of the Lord. As for unbelievers, I have not much to say, only that I hope at one time in their life belief was there. Sometimes we pray amiss not knowing the will of God in such matters and do not see from Gods perspective that death is an answer to prayer. My Dad died of lung cancer a few years ago and put his trust in the Lord before he departed but he knew he was dying and the cancer was not operable. He viewed death as Gods cure for the disease that was the vehicle through which he entered the presence of God.
There is no pleasant way of addressing death and the subsequent grief borne by those that are left behind, but we have faith in the goodness of God and the promise that we shall meet our loved ones again someday. It might help to explain to your son what the one who died would hope for him. That a part of the one who passed would live on in the heart and would be so honored for the meaning that that person had for us while they were still alive.
I hope this helps you. God Bless you in your sorrow.

Answer 5

Preface your prayer with the words of Paul about his prayer:

I know that as you pray for me and as the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will all turn out for my deliverance.
For I live in eager expectation and hope that I will never do anything that causes me shame, but that I will always be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past, and that my life will always honor Christ, whether I live or I die.
For to me, living is for Christ, and dying is even better.
Yet if I live, that means fruitful service for Christ. I really don't know which is better.
I'm torn between two desires: Sometimes I want to live, and sometimes I long to go and be with Christ. That would be far better for me
Philippians 1:19-23

If there is reason to believe that your friends work is not done on earth, then pray the prayer of faith and take a stand against the enemy. God can do all things, and he is willing.

Answer 6

I understand what u are saying. I would openly pray definitely, there has been studies that prove that it helps. Now w/ your son, what we don't realize on earth, is that when we die, (if we're good & faithful) WE GO TO PARADISE> Yes it sucks so bad with all our hearts to MISS them the way we do. They are a big part of our lives for so long, & usually the ones to die seem to be the "Rock" of the family. But ~ your son is old enough to know WE ALL DIE, life=death. So yes it will be confusing, but to not let Him figure out God has a will that is separate from ours is delaying the inevitable, & that will be bitter sweet when someone DOES die. We are all going to die, prepare him for that, but it's in your hearts to pray your souls out to get him to stay with you longer. I would lay both things before him so he can understand sooner rather than later, but I will send a prayer for you too, any loss is a great loss when it is someone we love. God bless.
sorry so long!:o]

Answer 7

As long as someone is alive, I believe we should pray for their recovery...and certainly your son is old enough to be included in praying for his relative.

After we pray, we have to trust God to heal that person, either here on the earth in front of us...or in heaven when they receive their new life with Christ. Either way, in life or in what we call "death", if that person is a believer, they will be healed!

You have an opportunity to present your son with the concept of eternity...and how, as believers, we need not fear death because whether we live or whether we die...it's all good because we believe.

If your relative is unsaved...that, to me, is a bigger quandry...but even then, I think I would tell my child we can't know where a person stands with God when they die, but we can trust God to handle everything for us in His way and in His time.

We don't need to worry about people because if God counts the hairs on our head and knows when each sparrow falls...then He can be trusted to do the right thing with every living being...especially the human kind.

We are made in His image and likeness...and He is absolutely crazy about us...whether we understand that and accept it or not...so we can trust His wisdom and His plan for each of our lives...even in death.

Answer 8

One must have faith that whatever God decides to do, it is the best thing in His infinate wisdom. Best for the your beloved relative and for everyone around them
I would also explain to your son that death is nothing to fear, as it is the gate that finally leads us to God. Death is not necessarily a bad thing. If, heaven forbid, your relative passes on, you gotta be honest with your son and tell him that God saw it was best to take them now as He finds it fit that they should join Him in His eternal kingdom now.

Also, I would explain to Him that what we perceive to be definatatively "Bad" is maybe part of God's plan of overall good, which is worthy for ALL that are involved. God will never ever leave anyone, and He never forgets His Children; in that I am saying that You, Your Son and Your Relative are equally loved and looked after by Godas His children, and He will intervene in the right time with the right solution, even if it means your reltive going to the better place of rest and comfort with God.

May God bless you and your son and grant you the comfort you deserve, and above all, grant your relative a healthy recovery.

Answer 9

If God is a big part of your life and if you truly believe, he will be with through all of this. Maybe you should pray to God to help your son understand. If worse came to worse, tell your son God didnt want him to hurt anymore and now hes in a place where he feels no pain. You also have to understand, kids see things much differrently then us. No matter what you say, hes still going to think what he wants. i hope i helped, if not im sorry and i wish the best of luck for you and your family. best Wishes

Answer 10

He's old enough to understnad the concept of God being in total control. You shouldn't leave God out of the conversation.

If your relative makes a full recovery, you're going to give God the praise, right? If he doesn't you continue to give God the praise - God DID help him - he is in a better place (assuming he is a Christian), God has taken him where he won't feel any more pain, etc.

I know it's a difficult proposition, but your son will be making his own decisions about God very soon - apart form what he's learned from you. He needs to learn early to depend on God's provision & comfort. Shielding him from difficult answers will do more harm than good.

Answer 11

you are a believer. So you tell your son about what you should know about dying, and tell Him the truth. before we were born God knew everything about us, he knew when we would be born and when it was time to leave this Earth, he even knows how many hairs on each one of our heads! When we die on this earth does not mean we are dead forever if we are believers and professed that we believe in jesus christ, repent of our sins then we will live in heaven if not hell we be our home. We die here in the flesh in our bodys, but our soul lives forever somewhere else and everythings done for a reason. We are not meant to live on this earth forever it is not our eternal home. You need to know that dying is not because of the lack of God not intervening, but a part of life so that we may go to our ultimate home whether it be heaven or hell. Teach your child about christianity, send him to sunday school, get a better understanding of the whole process,the only fear is the fear that we lose Gods grace and never enter the kingdom of heaven. He is 11 he is old enough to handle this. I am a mother of 5. Ranging from 6 to 16, my father past away in 2001, my mom and dad were married at the time of his death 37 years, he adored my children so they him. When they told us that my father was going to die, i sat them all down and told them exactly what was going on they had very many questions, I answered them in a loving way also telling them why these things have to happen according to Gods plan. NObody,NObody dies before its their time. then let them grieve, and you also.