I have been with this guy for 2.5yrs, and he's had insecurity issues his whole life, and he broke into my e-mail and read EVERY SINGLE one of them, and then told me and used my private thoughts against me. What do I do? I want to leave, but I'm afraid of hurting him
2006-10-16 01:59:43 · 28 answers · asked by Mookie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hi darling!
I noted with much concern about your boyfriend's insecurity issues.
Honestly, I think that when people get into a relationship, it is hoped that they would eventually become partners for life. At least that's the ultimate goal.
However, when we meet some persons in our lives, we look for certain qualities which our lifelong partner must possess.
In your case, insecurity has been an issue for the past 2.5 years.
Do you think this will change if you eventually shack up?
Are you prepared to deal with someone accusing you for all the rest of your days.
Sweetie, you're an individual who will at some point in time make mistakes like everybody else is and the truth is you are only accountable to ONE person in this life for your actions.
Just one.
And that's God Almighty.
Anybody else should go jump in the bush!
Discuss these trust issues with your boyfriend and you'll know what to do next because the truth is, all successful relationships are based on trust.
Cheers and good luck :-)
2006-10-16 02:12:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's amazing to me how quickly people give the "dump him" advice on yahoo answers. There is more to your relationship than some e-mails I am sure, what you need to do is re-evaluate your entire relationship and THEN make a decision to stay or go. What your BF did was a huge invasion of your privacy, and trust will now be an issue. I hope this helped. Good Luck.
2006-10-16 02:06:38 · answer #2 · answered by sweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Afraid of hurting him? Give me a break. Who is the in secure one here? Drop this guy like a brick. You think you have issues with him now. If you keep this relationship going it can only get worse. He will continue to manipulate you and you will only get further under his control. This guy is a control freak. There is always going to be someone else out there that will treat you with respect and whom you can have a long and fulfilling life without feeling threaten.
Drop him and move on and change your email address and keep it to yourself.
2006-10-16 02:05:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU'RE afraid of hurting HIM? I'm sorry, but from the looks of things, he's done a pretty good job of hurting you. Those were your private messages and he had no right to look at them, no matter how insecure he was. If you'd done the same thing, he'd dump you.
2006-10-16 02:18:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gee, I don't know what would you think of a woman that broken into my email and read every one of them? I was pissed. As far as I'm concerned, email should be treated like regular mail. Private. If you feel the need to check on someone, ask to see their mail or just ask them point blank.
2006-10-16 02:15:07 · answer #5 · answered by flashpro 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to worry about yourself before him, tell him if he has insecurity issues to deal with them professsionally, privacy is the only think we have that is ours, and for him to invade yours is about the worst possible thing he could have done, but then there is always two sides to the story, did he have any reason to believe that something important pretainning to him would be discovered? if so then you have to look at your actions as well, I agree with the person slighly above me, don't just dump him, but you have to seriously reevaluate some things because doing what he did no matter how much suspicion he had is really wrong
2006-10-16 02:15:13 · answer #6 · answered by ninja cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like me! Bless his heart! Don't leave him go help him . I've been fighting this thing for years & by myself too. I drive my husband crazy cause I'm so insecure! Even though he has given many reasons for me to ? his every move. I think if I had some counseling & had support at home that I could get better.
2006-10-16 02:05:09 · answer #7 · answered by "karma" 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive been there somewhat. My ex used to listen to my voicemails...its an invasion of privacy, and he clearly doesnt trust you. Tell him it wasnt right..just because he has issues..is NOT an excuse..we all have issues..you need to set him straight. It wasnt right. In a breakup someone is going to get hurt it is inevitable...you have to do what you feel is right. You know what you WANT to do, its doing it that is so hard.
2006-10-16 02:31:41 · answer #8 · answered by RANDI B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a relationship and did not want to leave because of hurting him. Well, he left me and didn't think twice of hurting me. He won't even talk to me. I don't think you want to be with someone that does not respect you. Breaking into your emails...
insecurity issues is not respect. He needs to talk to someone to resolve his issues before he has a relationship.
Best wishes you.
2006-10-16 02:06:19 · answer #9 · answered by linguini11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a choice: either u hurt him or let him hurt yourself. As u said he has security issues, this time it is e-mail next time it may be even something more important, like not letting u go our with your friends, or next time not letting u visit your parents and so on. Either u stand uo, set your limits NOW, or go away.
2006-10-16 02:03:27 · answer #10 · answered by kourtina1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋