OK OK OK! Sherlock Holmes Jokes?

Question

Watson and Holms were trying to break into the house of a villain, when suddenly Holms takes out a lemon from his pocket and proceeds to squeeze juice from said lemon into the front door lock of the villains house. After a few seconds they heard a slight "click" and the door slowly opened! Astonished Watson asked Holms how he did it, Holms replied with a knowing nod and a wink
"Why, its lemonentry my dear Watson"! OK see if you can do better for 10 mysterious points!

Answer 1

Sherlock Holmes and Watson were working on a case.Many public buildings, such as libraries and museums had been vandalized.Holmes was planning a stakeout for that night. Watson suggested,"We could stake out a school, if we knew which one they were most likely to hit."(Who doesn't see what's coming?)"Why, it's elementary, my dear Watson",replies Sherlock.

Answer 2

Sherlock Holmes Jokes

Answer 3

Similar to yours but; Watson walked up to Holmes' house in Baker Street to find him painting the door a shade of yellow. "What are you doing Holmes?" he enquired. "It's a lemonentry my dear Watson."

Not Sherlock Holmes but I like it.
What do you call 100 nuns in a shop? Virgin Megastore.

Answer 4

I heard a slightly different version at school 20 years ago about Holmes buggering Watson and using lemon juice as a lubricant or something.

Answer 5

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.

'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.'

Watson replies, 'I see millions of stars.'

'What does that tell you?'

Watson ponders for a minute. 'Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?'

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. 'Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.'

Answer 6

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of the world-famous detective, Sherlock Holmes, was not above telling tales about himself in which he was the laughing-stock. Here is one of those stories.

As he tells it, he was waiting at a taxi- stand outside the railway station in Paris. When a taxi pulled up, he put his suitcase in it and got in himself. As he was about to tell the taxi-driver where he wanted to go, the driver asked him: "Where can I take you, Mr. Doyle?" Doyle was flabbergasted. He asked the driver whether he knew him by sight.

The driver said: "No Sir, I have never seen you before."

The puzzled Doyle asked him what made him think that he was Conan Doyle.

The driver replied: "This morning's paper had a story about you being on vacation in Marseilles. This is the taxi-stand where people who return from Marseilles always come to. Your skin colour tells me you have been on vacation. The ink-spot on your right index finger suggests to me that you are a writer. Your clothing is very English, and not French. Adding up all those pieces of information, I deduce that you are Sir Arthur Conan Doyle."

Doyle said: "This is truly amazing. You are a real-life counter-part to my fictional creation, Sherlock Holmes."

"There is one other thing," the driver said.

"What is that?''

"Your name is on the front of your suitcase."

Answer 7

Watson and Holmes were lying in a field gazing at the night sky. Holmes says to Watson "See all those thousands of twinkling stars in the vast canopy above? What does that suggest to you, Watson?"
Watson says "How small and insignifant we are in the universe?"
Holmes says "No, Watson. It means someone has stolen our tent."

Answer 8

u dont need to be sherlock holmes to see 5000 people naked at once

try this link

this is real-----really true

http://poetry.rotten.com/naked-people/

Answer 9

oh my god!