After a failed internet relationship, I am now in another one. He says he does not love his girlfriend and he is very loving, caring to me. He really dotes on me. I can tell they do nothing together. He says although they have not ended the relationship, it is just like they are flatmates not lovers. Financially he must stay there for two years. Do you think he will eventually leave if he really loves me?
2006-10-15 23:47:22 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i dont mean to sound horrible, but isnt this the typical situation u alsways hear about? ifa bloke relly loves u honey he would be with u no matter what.
also it's real easy to convice someone ur genuine when really he's probably locking the study door to keep her finding out whats hes doing, and then sitting down to a nice meal with her and telling her the same stuff he told u.
however, thats just the most common example..it might really be true that he loves u , its happened to someone i know, she was the other woman and she got her man.. they've beentogether for 15 yrs now..but babe u have to put ur foot down and make a decision. are u really happy to wait for a man who's in any relationship: good or bad. or do u want someone who really and truly loves u and nonone else, who has eyes only for u.
only u can decide whether this guys worth ur affection..
i hope it works out , good luck
2006-10-15 23:56:52 · answer #1 · answered by emboo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. He is a liar. If this is the case why does he not leave, you say it is due to financial difficulties but if he was really unhappy he would leave. How can you tell they do nothing together, you are not there to see them. If they are not over then he is still sleeping with her, he is telling you one thing meanwhile living with her. If they are flatmates they would be in seperate rooms, can you bhe sure that they are in seperate rooms and not sleeping together. By the sounds of it you're a fling.
2006-10-15 23:57:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you be sure that he doesn't love his girlfriend anymore, his feelings may change towards her over the next two years so you cant be certain just yet. I wouldn't really pursue it if he's still with her, he may genuinely not love her anymore but the circumstances aren't ideal at the moment. I wouldnt really get too involved untill he ends the relationship with his current partner because thats pretty much cheating at the moment.
Take care
2006-10-16 00:07:04 · answer #3 · answered by Chappers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to be with someone who cheats on his girl?
He's gonna do the same to you if in fact 'he loves you' enough to leave her..
geez...I don't get it, why make your life this complicated, it's only gonna end in disaster. You'll become the 'flatmate' and he'll be chatting up someone else.
Sometimes it feels like my bf and I are also just flatmates, then things heat up again and we fall in love all over again...something to think about, hey?
2006-10-15 23:57:38 · answer #4 · answered by sexybabe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No he is using the financial problem as an excuse, I bet you that they are pretty happy and that she doesn't even know he is talking to you. WHY does he have to stay with her for another 2 years. He is lying to you and using you as his own little fantacy trip. LEAVE HIM and find you someone single. I know I was in the same situation a while back
2006-10-15 23:52:24 · answer #5 · answered by jessica_11_storm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the phase 'having his cake and eating it' springs to mind..... he's probably going through a rough patch in his relationship right now, and is finding comfort and attention from you..... if u are being 100% honest with yourself, what do u really know about this guy's day-to-day life ? are u just in touch via the internet / telephone, or do u meet up in person ? if it's just by internet, then u really have to consider that he might just be attention seeking... he could be in touch with a few women that he's met online.... u have to be soooooo careful.... personally, i don't think there is a future in this... especially as u refer to woman he's living with as 'his girlfriend', rather than 'his ex'... a lot of men (not all, but a lot) enjoy the extra attention that an internet relationship brings them. it's like buying porn - but more personal, coz the woman is directly talking to him, rather than just been some glam picture of a woman with no clothes on... sorry to be cynical, but i speak from experience.......
2006-10-16 00:04:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO,NO,NO!!!what are you thinking my goodness...first of all I need you to think about something o.k. really pay attenetion....how do you know that they arent intimate? because he confesses this to you? and how do you know that he doesnt talk to her on that way when your no longer in ear shot? Sweetie listen hes making love to her and hes telling her everything and probably more because he loves her...sry....but its true he cant and will not ever leave his wife because he LOVES her thats something hes never going to give up he just has an over active labido and you shouldnt be messing with anyone elses labido get me.....youll end up the last one laughing and the first one in tears....trust me...L
2006-10-15 23:54:34 · answer #7 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not make sense to me. Two years is a long time to stay just for financial reasons.
It depends on how well you know him and how long he has been with her. If it's less than a year (you and him), then I say the chances are slim.
2006-10-15 23:50:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no he wont leave her...........how can you tell they do nothing together? cos hes told you that the relationship has not eneded. If he loved you he would have left her straight away..........and has he told you what these financial reasons are?
All sounds a bit dodgy to me
Internet relationships are something you have to be carefull about, you never know what the other person has to hide from you.
2006-10-16 00:00:49 · answer #9 · answered by life_vamp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read somewhere a few years ago that only 7% of married men who say they are going to leave their wives for "the other woman" really do it. That means there is a 93% chance that you are being taken for a ride, dear. Those are not good odds.
I have been in your shoes. I spent years waiting for the man I loved to straighten out his situation - all kinds of reasonable excuses - problems with family members' health, death in the family, children that would be upset, finances - you name it I heard it. He was my best friend and there was an incredibly strong attraction. I rationalized that I had loved him first - then break up - then he later married "her". He promptly regretted his marriage (according to what he told me) and wanted me back. I was thrilled - thought he would work out a decent way to leave her. I kept waiting - for a lot longer than I should. The love that I felt for him was very strong. I admired and cared for him and believed in him - public servant, church on Sunday, pillar of the community. Why he couldn't possibly be lying to me! He talked constantly of how happy he would be when we had a life together. He called me dear and precious. Sure sounded good.
There were subtle changes that alerted me that something was wrong. I found out in July that he had left "her" last October. In November he moved in with the woman across the street from where he and his wife had lived for several years. He was divorced in January, remarried, I think in February or March, and was still telling me he wanted to be with me in March and April.
He never told me any of this - I figured most of it out. The rest was confirmed when I found out what he had done.
I had several very informative conversations with "her", the wife he left. The reason that I did this is because he had told her everything about the marraige breaking up was her fault and had her convinced that she had done something wrong. The first thing that he did wrong was to not marry me when we were first together. At that time, we might have made it. The second thing that he did wrong was to marry this poor woman and deceive her. Her marraige had never had a chance because he cheated on her emotionally during the entire marraige. He was never committed to her or to me, or to the poor silly woman who lived across the street and married her neighbors husband. They live directly across the street from each other now. Can you imagine that! The wife he left found out about the woman he later married when she saw the two of them working in the yard together across the street from her house. It would make a really great novel or soap opera. It was not a fun life to live.
Don't let yourself make the same mistakes that I and many other people have made. If someone is unwilling or unable to commit to you, move on. There is no happy future in waiting around for someone else's husband or boyfriend. The chances that he is not intimate with the girl he is living with are very slim.
There are wonderful, truthful, loyal, kind, loving men in this world. My father was one, my sons are each one, and I have several friends who are married to one (lucky girls). Keep looking for the one that is right for you, and let me give you one piece of free advice which is Oh, so true. There are worse things in this life than being alone. Alone can mean free to come and go and do as you please. Alone can mean not being responsible to or for someone else who does not have the same committment to you. Alone in some women's life means not being belittled or beaten or mistreated every day. Alone can be a really great place to be.
Keep looking - you sound like you are young - give yourself time to find the right person, and in the meantime, curl up with a good book, watch a good movie, have a cup of tea or a glass of wine, put your feet up and relax. Laugh out loud at a movie, enjoy your friends, love your family, excel at your job, increase your education. That doesn't sound too bad for being "alone" does it.
While you are busy enjoying your own company, the right one for you may find you!
Good luck! Love yourself!
2006-10-16 00:39:17 · answer #10 · answered by kathy s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋