i am a newly single mom of two kids who i used to be so close to. i find myself avoiding them, self medicating daily, feeling depressed and guilty cuz i know they need me right now and i'm pulling away. im so ashamed. i used to be a really good mom. i am ruining them. and this knowledge only makes the urge to self medicate and isolate stronger. how do i STOP this destructive cycle and get back on track, re-connect with them?? i mentally beat myself up about this everyday. it consumes me.
2006-10-15 23:36:02 · 8 answers · asked by depressed, newly single mom of 2 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
in my mind i KNOW they need me, i know i'm ******* up, then why isnt my love for my kids and disgust with myself enough to make me stop? im at the point where i dont even get high anymore. so why do i do it? i am TERRIFIED to feel anything right now. and my spirit is so broken that a firm self-pep talk just isnt enough. i dont feel "sorry" for myself, i have turned into the kind of mother that i used to shake my head at and wonder how they could be so selfish. i guess i dont feel its selfish cuz i dont do it to feel good. it doesnt make me feel good. i feel weak and gross and ashamed. scared. soon to be ex husbband cancelled my med insurance, i dont know how to get effective professional help? im so angry at myself. i suspect i am partly "punishing" myself. bottom line: i need to get it together for my babies. i just dont know how and i am scared, but dont know what im scared of??
2006-10-16 01:15:43 · update #1
Ok so your self medicating ie; abusing drugs then who the hell is looking after your kids. Its time to STOP feeling sorry for yourself and put the kids first. Firstly get them out of that situation and CLEAN yourself up. Your the most important person in their life get yourself together get professional help. Your kids need you. Dont want to sound harsh but it needs to be said.
2006-10-16 00:07:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I went through this as well but it's you who has to wake up and realize your children need you. ONLY you can get your life back on track. It really does hurt and you want to crawl into a ball so reality doesn't kick in but eventually it will. Right now you need to take a good long look at yourself and figure out what means the most to you and I know its your children. They need you more than ever right now. I'm not sure how old they are but at any age when parents divorce they always need that one parent they can depend on and it's usually the mother. So start today and get your life straight because you know you have a problem and your children need you. On another note your ex cannot take your medical insurance away until you are officially divorced. Look into that because I've been through all this. e-mail me if you need anything ammorris21@yahoo.com Good luck :)
2006-10-16 03:45:33 · answer #2 · answered by Angela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need professional counseling as soon as possible. Being a newly single person is hard enough on your self-esteem and confidence, but to have a couple of kids added into the mix, well that makes it just that much harder. I did the same thing a few years ago when I divorced my ex. I spiraled down into a deep depression, thinking that I had somehow failed at everything and that I was worthless to my kids. Nothing could pull me out of it for a long time. Finally, one of my best friends got so angry with me, yelling at me to get mad at myself and see what I was doing to myself and my kids...it took a few days of her doing that, but she was right, the next day I got into counseling. It saved me and my relationship with my kids.
I wish you all the luck there is, just have faith in yourself that you can do it. You will.
2006-10-16 01:08:17 · answer #3 · answered by Laurie K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh no, this is terrible, I feel for you I really do! It's difficult when you know what you should do, but you just can't seem to reach that place! What are you taking daily? Have you seen the doctor? I know it's hard to admit the problem to other people, but it really is the only way you can go forward from this, try to write a journal, this is what I did when I was suffering from depression a couple of years ago, it was my only outlet, I had no one there for me emotionally, I managed to get through it, but hit rock bottom first! It sounds like your at rock bottom also and desperate to get out again! Please seek help, within a journal or from a close relative or friend and see your GP! I wish you the best of luck with your battle! Take care! EC XX
2006-10-15 23:42:10 · answer #4 · answered by Emma 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i completely understand this destructive cyle. my mother was the same way, depressed, self-medicating, and i in turn developed a lot of emotional problems.. but my whole family has been working both individually and together in therapy, and it has helped 110%. i would suggest that you seek counceling, and possibly consider taking an antidepressant (this has helped my mom tremendously). once you feel that you are getting back on track, you might want to consider having your children talk to a therapist as well. first, work on getting yourself well, and then reconnecting with your kids will be much easier. i wish you the best of luck!
2006-10-16 02:52:38 · answer #5 · answered by butwhatdoiknow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What? You are letting a man control how you feel? Did this man depart in death? I am very sorry if so. If not, get back at him. Show him how happy yall can be without him. And you can be. It's a state of mind. Even if he departed in death, you can still go on. You have to. Sometimes our inner strength takes a while to show, but, we all have it. You have to set you mind to "I can do this." You can! How old are your children? Are they in school or daycare? Find a job, get your mind off things. Allow yourself to grieve only after 8:30 at night, and allow only 30 minutes of it. Set your clock. Do anything, these children need you. They can't fend for themselves. Even if they are teens, they still have their own problems. Don't you remember how hard school is, especially socially. You can do this. Please, if you feel you need to talk to someone, email me at jen102us@yahoo.com and we can exchange phone numbers. Remember above all else that God doesn't put more on us than we can handle. Me and Jesus love you!
2006-10-16 01:12:55 · answer #6 · answered by jennifer c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you decrease because of the fact it releases sense sturdy chemical components. Like with drug addictions, ensuing exhilaration (if that's what it rather is called) is decreased each and every time you do it till no longer something makes you happy ever. so which you do it greater to get the end result you as quickly as did, yet you will by no ability be happy. it rather is amazingly tricky to provide up. you are able to deal along with your thoughts some other way. launch the emotional discomfort. refer to somebody.
2016-10-02 08:33:27 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You HAVE to enlist outside help-BEST that it is not family or friends-people who will not know the situation and tend to have opinions. In order to love anyone else you have to love yourself-getting therapy may be enough to bring you around-but I advise family therapy to help whatever feelings they may be having or any damage already done.
2006-10-16 03:34:18 · answer #8 · answered by Jep 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋