Closeted dude, don't want people to know I am into other dudes, but I am feeling really lonely.....have a few prospects but am afraid to ask
2006-10-15 22:26:46 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
While there is no way to "tell" if he's gay, you can watch for signs that he might be. Yes, there are a lot of stereotypes and cliches, but it may help you to get a better idea before you approach him.
If you aren't comfortable asking him outright, then maybe bring up other related topics and see how he feels.
"What is your opinion on gay marriages?"
"What was our best/worst date (or past relationship)"
"Some good pick up lines?"
etc...
See how he reacts and answers to your questions. If you feel he's gay, then ask him as nice as possible, and volunteer that you are so he'll feel more comfortable admitting if he is too. If you don't think he is after his comments, then you are still safe since he'll probably think that you wanted dating advice or just making conversation.
Or maybe invite him out as friends without using the word date or making it seem like one. Then see how the evening goes.
Is he checking out women or men?
Is he smiling into your eyes, or looking away?
Is he saying or doing anything revealing one way or another as to his sexual orientation?
Maybe throw in some questions to help you figure it out.
If you want to ask outright, you aren't guarenteed an honest answer. If they are gay, and you don't know it, they may be closeted same as you. You have to be willing to put yourself on the line for the best chance of getting one (or more) of them to admit to their own sexual preferences. If they think you are straight, they might not want to let on to being gay out of fear of how you or others will react. If you are ready and willing to open up about your own life, you have a better chance at getting them to open up about their own.
2006-10-15 22:57:53 · answer #1 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As I'm straight, I can't claim to know how difficult that must be for you, but... You just have to go up and ask. Its the way straight people have had to do it for years.
I gotta tell you, the easiest "rejections" I've had were from girls who said they were lesbians. They could have been lying, but if they aren't of the right orientation, you do know that there is nothing you could have done anyway.
I don't see why you should be expected to have some sort of "gay-dar" and just know these things. Its rather ridiculous.
2006-10-16 05:32:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're on the internet - if you know what school a guy goes to or his full name, check him out on Facebook or MySpace or one of those silly sites. It's incredibly easy to find people on there and snoop into their personal lives. If that doesn't work for you, you may have to be more willing to out yourself to dudes. Join a gay group - you may have to drive a bit or look around, you may find one at a local school. Our GSA was always open to students and non-students alike.
2006-10-16 05:33:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So complex, watch the persons manurisms, if their easily angered i wouldnt recommend just askin. or have convos with this person and drop little hints or better yet give him a few compliments that sound gay but not too gay...btw I'm in the same boat as you and if he is he'll come out eventually, 4 of my friends came out to me in the same week.
2006-10-16 05:33:32 · answer #4 · answered by Nunya B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out to several events and read the vibes that are in the air. If all else fails ask with out revealing personal thoughts or opinions.
2006-10-16 05:30:39 · answer #5 · answered by jo j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask the person and,if all else fails,see if there are any gay bars or clubs in your area
2006-10-16 05:32:33 · answer #6 · answered by the_silver_tin_man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I imagine it must be difficult..but the only advice i can give ya is to just ask.
You might be pleasantly surprised.
2006-10-16 05:30:09 · answer #7 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can't tell, he's not gay. a hand shake and eye contact will give it away. eye contact and a smile. watch for it. then ask him out for coffee/tea/whatever.
2006-10-16 05:31:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u just have to ask and see what they say
2006-10-16 05:27:53 · answer #9 · answered by sleepwalker69 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him about his girlfriend
2006-10-16 05:31:29 · answer #10 · answered by ellie_2121 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋