My boy and I have a long distance relationship and I know that he would never cheat on me, but he stayed at another girls place when she already had two friends over. He didn't tell me until yesterday. I'm kind of sad about it...What should I do??
2006-10-15 22:22:22 · 10 answers · asked by Kiss_Kris_xo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds to me that you're wondering whether or not your boyfriend has cheated on you. Under this assumption, let me continue.
If you're nervous about your boyfriend's habits and can't trust him enough to spend time with someone of the opposite sex, then it's an unstable relationship and you need to consider whether or not you're going to be able to maintain it over time.
When I first went to college in New York, I was dating a girl from Ohio long distance for six months. I had plenty of friends that were girls and I often would stay at their apartments after nights of heavy drinking. While nothing ever happened, my girlfriend would become upset and accuse me of cheating on her. Only your boyfriend knows what really happened when he stayed over at a girl's house, but if you can't trust him to tell you the truth, do you really want to continue that relationship where you have to question every single thing that he does?
To alleviate your questions, I would suggest trying to form a relationship with your boyfriend's friends. AIM and YIM are wonderful for this -- you can ask your boyfriend for their screen names under the pretenses of wanting to know more about the people that he's hanging out with because you care about his social life, and then decide whether or not he's trustworthy based on what they tell you.
If you're upset because he didn't say anything for a few days after the fact, you should ask yourself: Did he not say anything because he's nervous as to how you would react? If yes, then it's one of two problems -- he's afraid of how you feel because of his friends, which is unhealthy, or he's done something wrong. Did he not say anything because it isn't that big a deal, saying at someone's house overnight? The likely scenario. Also, if the girl had two of her friends over, don't you think that he would have had a difficult time with hooking up with this girl? I would respond heartily "yes", but that's your decision to make.
You should speak to your boyfriend and ask him why he was slow to tell you about his sleepover. Also, tell him that you would appreciate more communication between the two of you in the future. If he still doesn't see the situation as a big deal and you trust that he would be honest with you, then be a big girl about it and accept the fact that, as social beings, people often make friends and hang out with them. The situation is no different from you going over to a male friend's house during the day and watching television and having a few beers -- you're upset because it happened at night. Would you tell your boyfriend the second you got home that you spent the day with your friend, a boy, because you didn't want him to get the wrong impression? Likely not. He, too, has no obligation to call you and ask your permission to stay overnight or let you know about it the morning after.
2006-10-15 22:34:22 · answer #1 · answered by Andrew Jesse Brown 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first were the other 2 friends male female and then second why did he wait to tell you,why did he stay there didnt he have his own place,couldnt afford a hotel was he to drunk to drive Id be asking these questions of him you are already thinking the worst ask get it out get it over and if you still dont think he is telling the truth than either way you dont have a good strong relationship.
2006-10-15 22:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by shelly f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know he'd never cheat.. then whats the problem?
I've stayed with female friends many times before with no sexual interaction and i'm sure your man can do the same.
Afterall men and women Can just be friends..I wouldn't worry too much unless you've heard other wise.
2006-10-15 22:27:21 · answer #3 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U know him best.
If u say you know he would never cheat on you, i gather u don't doubt him.
Well, just let him know u are sad but trust him, just that it would have made things easier on urside if u had known earlier.. but dun make a big deal outta it..
but if he does so those sleepovers again, u need to firmly let him know it's not right to you...say u really hope he can respect ur worries.... dun be too harsh if u want to have a positive resolution
2006-10-15 23:40:47 · answer #4 · answered by Beth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you favor to call or textual content him and tell him, "i elect you to convenience me because my ex did a similar aspect that you're doing to me as we talk" He might want to get the message with that in case you write it precisely that way. i understand i'm 35 honey and My ex girlfriend informed me a similar aspect years in the past,so do not carry a grudge if he would not seek for suggestion from from you for an afternoon or 2 for telling him to F-off. I extremely were down that highway, trust me,you do not elect to bypass that way, basically attempt to artwork it out, he would no longer be dishonest, yet make psychological notes of ways much better he's staying at this different female's abode (better regularly is undesirable, a lot less regularly strong). and make certain your no longer being insincere about him, he would properly be "basically acquaintances" to his female chum.
2016-10-16 05:09:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to him about how you feel about it. I know I would be hurt if my fiancee did the same. If he thinks that it is alright to stay at another chicks house even after you tell him how you feel, then he does not respect you. You can't be with someone who can't respect you, and your feelings. If he doesn't understand this then move on, because he is not good enough for you, and everyone deserves someone who is going to respect how they feel. Good Luck I really hope things work out for you.
2006-10-15 22:27:54 · answer #6 · answered by Esther V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u know,it's really hard not to believe that "nothing happened" cuz it's a girl's house.honestly, in my opinion, HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU.unless of course he's bleeding to death and he needed someone to care for him or something.of course u have to listen to his side. but still,girl, trust your instincts. if u feel something's not right,listen to that voice.
2006-10-15 22:27:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he probably had a threesome. sorry, there is no relationship if you cant trust eachother.its a shame he told you l8r cos it looks worse doesnt it
2006-10-15 22:30:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask what happened if anything did- then go from there!
2006-10-15 22:24:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's probably cheating. face it... you say you know he would never cheat... NEVER SAY NEVER
2006-10-15 22:24:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋