"My dad ran an insurance agency, but it wasn't making any money, so he burned it down" (Jerry Swallow)
"In kindergarten, i got my very own horse. Then someone shot him, so we had to break his leg." (Jerry Swallow)
"my aunt was cremated last week. My uncle suspects arson. (Jerry Swallow)
"I walked into the bank. I asked the teller if i could check my balance, he leans over and pushes me."
"My wife is a real immature woman. The other night during sex, we had a mutual orgasm, she yelled "JINX!" and punched me in the arm" (Jerry Swallow)"
"The other day i ran 5 miles. Then i stopped, and said, 'here lady. take your purse." (Emo Phillips)
"When i was a kid, i ran a lemonade stand. I charged 5 cents for the first cup, and 10 cents for the second cup. The second cup had the antedote." (Emo Philips)
"My ex-girlfriend..who shall remain nameless..if i'm ever left at her tombstone with a sandblaster..." (Emo Phillips)
2006-10-15 21:26:57 · 10 answers · asked by snafu1 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
The emo phillips joke about the lemonade should have said "10 cents for the first cup, $5 for the second cup." sorry!!!
2006-10-16 09:29:58 · update #1
horse walks into a bar...bartender says"why the long face"
2006-10-15 21:31:55 · answer #1 · answered by scully60_61319 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many of the problems you may be facing could be just the tip of the iceberg on what is really happening in your marriage. I dont mean to scare you but many problems when they either first show up or if they keep reoccurring could be just whats showing from a larger problem that either you or your spouse cannot even see. One of the only things you can do to help is to talk honestly and openly with each other in the marriage. If things become more serious more serious options need to be looked at as possibilities. I have a blog that has more information on some of what I've been writing about. If you feel like checking it out I would completly suggest it. Read here https://tr.im/uE3vQ
Love is a choice that is made everyday when you wake up and every night when you go to sleep. Some days you may not feel the original feeling but love isnt a feeling or an emotion. Its an action a verb. Falling out of love may just mean you need to spice things up a little or that you were never in love in the first place. Don't just get out of a marriage just because you don't think you like the person anymore.
2016-07-18 17:38:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Texting lets you control the tone and establish what kind of conversation you want to have. Learn here https://tr.im/WNph1
This is probably the most important part. With texting, you can stop and think about what you want to say to your ex at each step of the way. Instead of reacting emotionally, you can take your time, figure out the right thing to say (I’ll give you most of it), and be strategic with your ex without saying something that you’ll regret.
2016-05-01 00:09:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I once had a large gay following,but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.
My classmates would copulate with anything that moved,but I never saw any reason to limit myself.
2006-10-15 23:47:58 · answer #4 · answered by the gunners 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awesome!
2006-10-15 22:38:12 · answer #5 · answered by Hardrock 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I made a Freudian slip the other night. Instead of asking my wife for the salt, i turned around and said, 'You ruined my life, you b*tch!'" - (Bumper Book Of Jokes)
2006-10-15 21:29:33 · answer #6 · answered by Nicky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The doctor said I had only two months to live.. but at the end of two months, I couldn't pay my bill, so he gave me another two months...
2006-10-15 21:29:12 · answer #7 · answered by Golfcarmel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i asked a Chinese girl if she fancied a 69 at 2 oclock this morning,,she said sod off i ain't getting my wok out now...
2006-10-17 12:27:33 · answer #8 · answered by blu.boy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
never play leapfrog with a unicorn!
2006-10-15 21:29:45 · answer #9 · answered by Claude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i told you i was ill (on a gravestone)
2006-10-15 21:31:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋