I have suffered with depression for the last couple of years i can't BEAT it how can i do it?

Question

I have been in violent realtionships which is what had caused my depression and ever since i can not beat it. I have been to the doctors and all they do is supply me with medication. I live away from family so i have no real support and feel very isolated. I have 4 children that are my life and i am in a realationship at the moment which i have been in for the last 6 yrs.
I hate feeling the way i am feeling and really i can't seem to get out of this what can i do and who do i go to as i feel i am not getting anywhere?

Answer 1

Dump the live-in stud and focus more on your kids. Move back home with your folks so your kids have an intact family. You obviously are a better Mom than you are a chooser of men. Be a Mom for now and start dating again after your kids are up and out. You don't need a man to make you complete. And FYI-I AM a man writing this!!!

Answer 2

Maybe there is another reason for the way you feel! How your hormone levels? Have you put on weight recently? Is your hair falling out and your skin dry and rough? Are you very mood and tend to loose your temper easily! The reason i ask this is because you may have a thyroid problem and not even know it!!! Its always the last thing that gets checked! I was feeling very depressed for along time and was recently diagnosed with an under active thyroid! Its worth demanding from you doctor a full thyroid function test!( change doctors and tell them what you want! i know its not easy but these are things you need to do!) The depression could of been brought on by the stress of the relationship! This can effect the body ion alot of ways! I really think you need to have this test to rule out it being a possibility! If the drugs are not working do you really think you have a bi polar problem! Change doctors and demand a full function thyroid test! And if the levels are a little down! Ask to go on the meds! You might start feeling better! Good luck and I hope you come right!!!!

Answer 3

What "Harry Bore" said.

He hit the nail on the head.

I've been in a violent relationship and know it will effect you for as long as you let it. What you need to realise is that the past is the past and no matter what happened you cannot go back and change it. For years I harboured feelings of guilt because I felt that I should have ended the relationship a lot sooner than I did. I felt guilty because my son witnessed some of the abuse and as a mother, I should have shielded him from it by kicking the violent waste of space to the kerb the first time something happened.

I learned valuable lessons from that relationship, as horrible as it was, and it has made me what I am today. Although it sounds impossible, you will find positive things about the abusive relationship - I learned very quickly how to spot the various traits of an abuser and steer well clear of anyone that demonstrated even a hint that they were the same. I've become a much stronger woman, more focused and independent and have gone on to marry a wonderful, kind, caring man.

For me to have a successful relationship, I had to ditch the past which was dragging me down. I accepted what had happened, let go of the guilt and the bitterness and all the destructive thoughts and feelings and rid myself of my victim mentality.

You are much more than your past. Don't allow it to destroy you.
I'm living proof that things can and do get better. You're a survivor, be thankful for that and try to embrace the positive things that life has to offer. xx

Answer 4

Since you don't have family close by, do you go to a church where you have a minister you could talk to? I've lived away from family and friends and it's hard to make new friends, especially ones you feel like you know well enough or trust enough to talk to. You didn't say how this relationship is working. Can you not talk to him about your past experiences or is this an abusive relationship too? There are all kinds of counceling centers you could try. If you could find a nice, sympathetic therapist to talk to sometimes it is easier talking to a stranger if you feel comfortable with them. Meds are a short-term solution anyway. They don't solve the real prob. I'm not saying they don't help but you really need to find someone you are comfortable talking to. Just saying things out loud and getting it off your chest, so to speak helps wonders. If it weren't for my best friend I'd be in the looney bend by now. I count my blessings every day having a friend that doesn't mind being a sounding board sometimes. And vice versa. Sometimes it helps you to help someone else out, ya know? Feeling useful is a powerful moral booster! Good luck!

Answer 5

The key here is to get rid of the emotional attachment to the past. Its remembering the events and the subsequent feelings that trigger off the same emotional state time and again.

I work as a clinical hypnotherapist and NLp practitioner. The key with depression is that you unknowingly depress yourself with these thoughts and memories. You need to clear the emotional impact of the past so that you can be free of this horrible state that you are in.

A previous poster got it right by saying focus on your kids, thats a brilliant way to start, but only half the battle.

One thing you can benefit from is the the knowledge that you were unknowlingly depressing yourself but now you know that you are in control. Depression isn;t something that hits you, singles you out for no reason, and affects you everyday. You are responsible for your own state. This knowing will give you infinately more control over the situation. Own the problem!

Shrinks telling you its a disease is just keeping them in business. Its an emotional imbalance that can be recified easily!

I would recommend seeing a hypnotherapist with NLP certification, as it would deal with the past painlessly and give you the chance to focus ont he future.

However you tackle this, good luck and best wishes. You don;t realise what strength you have inside you to have got this far. By channelling this you will only need a fraction of that with the right help to transform your life.

All the best

Answer 6

Well this ones a doozy. My heart goes out to you. Try taking natural antidepressants. St.Johns wort does wonders. Grapefruit is also a great anti-depressant. Try getting some counselling. Sometimes just having someone to confide in does wonders. If you can't afford one go and talk to the local pastor. Wether you are religious or not(I'm not) it is a way to talk to someone in total confidentiality and someone who wont judge you. You must be pretty damned tuff if you have 4 kids and keep on truckin. Perhaps the drugs you are on aren't the right ones for you. The wrong drug can make you much worse. Talk to your doctor or go and see a homoeopath. Good luck and chin up my friend. It's takes one hell of a strong person to raise 4 kids and be depressed at the same time. I suffer from it as well and I only have two kids. You're one tuff lady. Good luck my friend.

Answer 7

The best thing to do is stop trying to beat it. I have had depression for 14 years and I have been off of pills for around 5 or 6 years (they wouldn't work for me). I recommend that you check it out on the internet and learn as much about your depression as you can. The more you understand yourself, the more you can help yourself. Learn what works for you when you are feeling down. Make sure that your partner fully understands. I recommend that you talk to him about it when you are feeling pretty good so that they don't think you are exaggerating it because you are down. You could look up websites for your partner so that they could fully understand everything (as much as is possible). Everyone is different. This is what worked for me.
My shrink explained to me years ago that depression is an illness just like diabetes. It is not to be ashamed of. You have to work to control it. And, sometimes, you just have to learn to live your life with it. You can still live a perfectly normal life.

Answer 8

I have had friends with depression and I myself suffer from anxiety and stress. I think these problems need to be tackled in two ways at the same time: medication can stop those overwhelming feelings somewhat but you ALSO need to develop coping strategies which help you to challenge your depressing thoughts. I have just started reading an excellent book which I totally recomend - it's bright yellow and is part of the 'dummies' series of books -"Anxiety and Depression Workbook for Dummies"(terrible name I know!!). Any big book shop should be able to order it for you or check out their website - see below. It's brilliant - it starts off by asking you to look over your past and then helps you to think about things in new ways and get out of your old habits. There's a lot to do in the book and it's not a quick fix but I don't think our problems can be fixed quickly, and you need to put the work in to get the benefits out. Cheaper than therapy!!
Good Luck and ignore the idiots who say "cheer-up!"

Answer 9

Why baulk at the thought of medication? My wife suffered with depression for most of her life but only for the last couple of years has she managed to live a normal and happy life. Why? Well apart from a stable and happy marriage and two lovely children, she was also prescribed the correct medication, which was for her, Fluoxetine (Prozac), which far from turning her into someone else it allows her to be herself. She never intends to come off it. And I honestly can't see a reason as to why she should.

I'm not sure if your problems actually also have a chemical or physical component like my wife's, but if they do, turning to medication can really help you balance out.

Answer 10

Change your life by moving closer to your parents, when you have family to support you thats a good start. You need someone to relate with when you have problems. CHANGE things in your life and see if it improves your depression. Not saying dump your man of six years if you are happy together. I,ve had depression and know whats its like but i changed my attitude to life along with some medication and i suddenly saw that i was supported by people who really cared for me , this got me out of those awfull dark days, hope the same can happen for you.