Why would he do this?

Question

I met a guy a month ago and we've hooked up with NO sex 3/4 times since. I've met both his roommates and he's invited me to a couple of his friends' parties. He spoke to my friend about me behind my back and asked my friend what he thought of me? Then he told my friend that I was cool, smart, challenging, but a "lying *****" because I told him I was a virgin, which I am. (I am a virgin because i was molested/touched as a child, and stayed a virgin through a 5 year long term relationship.)

Anyway, he invites me to a party of a girl who he has expressed interest of having sex with, but not of dating. Then he comes to my apartment without me really inviting him after our parties to make out, and then sleep but not cuddle.

One time we went to the grocery store and afterwards he asked me if I had ever thought of what it'd be like to get married. I said I never wanted it, as it's doomed to failure and dependency.

Anyway, we both date other people, and we don't want relationships.

I guess my question is, why would he say that he wants older women (I'm younger than him), then 5 minutes later say he wants younger women. And then talk to me about wanting to have sex with a girl whose party HE invited me to? And then, he basically talks to me about girls he met in a bar.

But when I went out with my guy friend to dinner, he asked me if I had feelings for him and what my guy friend looked like.

I'm confused about this guy.

Answer 1

Sounds like all he wants is sex.
Dump him, and find a guy who will appreciate you for your mind and heart, not just your body.

Answer 2

Um hun, he's just so ******* you around. The baseline of this is: He wants someone/thing other than you and he's using you till he finds it. First, it's gd that yr guy friend told u all abt what he was doing and asking abt behind yr back. This guy most likely will never sleep with you, not because you're not desireable or that a hundred other guys wouldn't secretly be wanting the chance to be with you, nothing like that - it's because of him and his ****** up manipulating outlook on things. He may want an older woman, probably because then they can look after him financially and everything, but he's not with older women because one: he most likely CAN'T GET any older woman to bother with him, so he turns to younger women who are more pliable to his manipulating games and are easier to get into bed. If he's so hung up abt that fact that he thinks you're lying to him and he's angry abt that, in such case than he's double-standard bastard. or he only wants to sleep with women who are virgins and likes the idea of being the 'first guy/deflower' which is a very masachistic and immature viewpoint, and if so, then why does he want to be with older women who most definately would have had sex partners before him? If he talks about other girls infornt of you and tell you he wants to sleep with them, then why are you staying with him and exending any emotional effort on him at all? HE DOESN'T RESPECT YOU AND DOES NOT DESERVE YOU! He's dating other girls right? Well hun he's only using you to talk to and fool around with because you bother to spend the time to sit down and listen to him and give him the attention know one else would, he's using you to bolster his ego and to look like he's desireable enough to have a woman hanging onto him even when he acts like a bastard and most probably brings you to the parties so that he doesn't go alone and so if he can't find anyone else to get with at the party then he always has you to go back with. Harsh but true, he's using you in so many ways and is poisoning your sense of self-worth - GET RID OF HIM and don't let him back into your life. Work on your sense of worth and desireability if he's harmed it then in future watch out for poisonous manipulators in the future.

Answer 3

It sounds like, to me, that he wants any woman he can get his hands on! Apparently he has low self asteem, or else he would not be questioning this other man you have been speaking with.. If he sincerely wanted any type of relationship with you (or anyone for that matter), he would not be telling you that he wants these other woman. Unless of course he is a natural born "Freak"! And trust me, from experience of being married to one, RUN as fast as you possibly can! I was unaware of my husbands intentions when we got married (it started out just as an oral thing for him).. Three kids later, it's a little harder to just walk away! Good luck!

Answer 4

Ok, this has me totally confused. My guess is that he respects you, and likes you, but is looking for something more physical. Just keep him as a friend and forget the romance, and DONT let him make out with you anymore.

Answer 5

he is insecure and he just tells u about the girl at the party because he wants to make sure that u still care about him by seeing if it affects u to hear him talking like that

Answer 6

he doesn't know how to be a gentlemen and tell you that he no longer wants to be with you, instead hes just confusing you. good that you re seeing other people, just don't go back to him cos you deserve honesty and respect.

Answer 7

This guy is emotionally unstable. Get rid of him before it's too late.

Answer 8

like u better express u r feeling with u r guy

Answer 9

I DON'T THINK IT'S YOU THAT'S CONFUSED HON,THIS GUY DOESN'T KNOW WEATHER HE'S COMING OR GOING!,DON'T SCREW UR HEAD UP TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THIS JACK *** ,DUMP HIM B-4 HE MAKES AN *** OUT OF U!!!!!!!!!,SORRY.

Answer 10

I dont think anything good will come of this.