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does the relationship change after you get married my mother has been married 6 times and i dont want to go throughthat i just want to get married once and how long should i wait til tie the knot

2006-10-15 20:03:37 · 24 answers · asked by tigermuffin03 3 in Family & Relationships Weddings

ive been dating this guy for almost a year

2006-10-15 20:09:55 · update #1

oh sorry 3 years

2006-10-15 20:10:37 · update #2

24 answers

It changes for sure. The normal thing is that you will gradually find out the short coming in the other person one by one after marriage. But before marriage and when in love you are blind and see only the good things in the other person. that is the main difference.

2006-10-15 20:07:26 · answer #1 · answered by Rammohan 4 · 1 0

The relationship changes dramatically, even if you've already been living together. Assumptions begin being made about each other and how marriages "ought" to be, and toes get stepped on. On the other hand, an emotional security and bond can begin here that is wonderful, but maturity of the individual is more important than length of time "dating" before you marry, and maturity is a far way away for most marrying couples. I've been married more than once or twice, and my knowledge comes "hard earned", and I pray for you in your decisions in marrying or not. I can understand your hesitations and pray you don't "run scared" from marriage, or try to fit your marriage plans into some strict rule-bound mode based on modern-day psychology. Give yourself time to grow up a bit, and give your partner the freedom to grow up too, before AND AFTER you get married, and keep your hearts focused on Jesus Christ. Do that and the rest is, as they say, "a piece of cake", relatively speaking. I've also been a mental health practitioner, now retired, for 20+ years, and have seen this in untold numbers of clients/couples. God Bless you.

2006-10-15 20:20:36 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 1 0

Marriage changes constantly. Its different yearly, monthly, sometimes weekly. You both grow as people, hopefully grow together. When you meet the guy you think is your forever, tell him you only plan to marry once. Tell him that if he cannot commit forever to you, he needs to part ways.
I did that at 17. We married the day I turned 18 and had our first child a month later. Yeah, it was a hard way to start a marriage, but we've done ok. Its now been almost 9 years. We've gone through many things that could have lead to divorce, but it didn't. If you only want to marry once, make sure you both are committed to each other. Marriage is a commitment after all, not a feeling.

2006-10-15 20:13:29 · answer #3 · answered by Velken 7 · 1 0

Everyone is different, but it is normal for there to be a transition from the lusty newlyweds to the comfortable, content married couple. I would say you should be seriously involved with someone for a couple of years before deciding on marriage. The first months of a relationship, especially, can be deceiving. Most of the time, with a couple of years, you really know a person and are less likely to make a mistake in judgement. Just be sure to talk a lot about what you expect for the future (children, career goals, where you want to live, etc) before getting married.

2006-10-15 20:16:02 · answer #4 · answered by Peanut™ 3 · 1 0

I've been married for 11 years and dated my husband for about 5-6 years before we gots married (high school and college in those years!) Our relationship did change. You just have to be willing to stick it out through the hard times. The first few years are hard while you are adjusting to each other. In our marriage, divorce is NOT an option for us--which means we work out our problems or we live very unhapplily with each other. When you make that committment to stay together, then you learn to make it work and guess what?? You can do it happily!

2006-10-15 20:14:09 · answer #5 · answered by Tracy S 4 · 1 0

I dated my wife for 8yrs before we were married and now that we are I haven't noticed any drastic changes. However during those first years, we went through countless issues some more severe than others and a lot of changes had to happen to the both of us for our happiness to prevail. Changes will always be necessary, so as the relationship grows so will the two of you, just hope that it's together and not apart from each other. Good communication is the key.

2006-10-15 20:16:48 · answer #6 · answered by yankeefan_777 2 · 1 0

The relationship does change after marriage. I dated my husband for about 15 months before we got married. Nothing changed in a bad way, and actually i cannot pin point what exactly changed, but it is different. I think there is no time limit to wait, i feel if you have met the one, you would know it and wouldnt be asking these questions.

2006-10-15 21:19:05 · answer #7 · answered by babyj248 4 · 0 0

Some relationships do change when you get married, but you can make your relationship work, for it takes time and talking to each other also being truthful to each other. Make sure that you both want to tie the knot and remember that you both will be as one and yes there will be ups and downs but it depends on how bad you both want to make this relatinship to work.

2006-10-19 16:39:10 · answer #8 · answered by Angel 2 · 0 0

Well I have been married for 5 years and yes it changes the relationship... people change, situations change (kids). There are good times and bad times, you just take it like it comes because you love each other. I thought getting married in my late 20's was too late, but its not.....don't rush because its supposed to be forever, you want to make sure its the right person and not settle for anything less!

2006-10-15 21:30:51 · answer #9 · answered by Canadian Girl 2 · 0 0

When we signed our legal piece of paper, nothing changed. We were already "living a married life". Our relationship grew every day before and after marriage. In our case, I dont think that the actual marriage changed anything other than us finally getting what we had been waiting for.

2006-10-15 21:09:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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