My sister been with her boyfriend for 2 1/2 months now. They been talking about moving in with each other. I think its too soon and he seems very controling. How do I tell her to re-think whats she doing without her feeling like I'm trying to but in her life? I know how it gets to be with a controling man, I've been there. I dont want her to be stuck and force to be with him because she has no place to go, Like I was. What do I do?
2006-10-15 19:59:38 · 10 answers · asked by helpful friend 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
There comes a time in our life when we can't really help our love ones no matter how hard we try. And when this time comes, you have to accept it. It doesn't mean you let your sister do it her own way, rather, support and guide her still. Her decisions now might be the deciding factor of her future so it is very important that you exhaust all legitimate possible means to get your sister off the hook.
1. talk to your sister
2. talk to her boyfriend
3. ask help from family and seek their advices and opinions.
4. if the above doesn't work, then the best thing to do is to support their relationship. make sure that they know what's the consequence of their decision, and finally, continue giving them advices. how do you do this? maintain a pleasant relationship with your sister and her bf. don't agitate them by condemning their relationship. Otherwise, you won't be given the opportunity to influence/help them in their relationship.
let your sister learn things the hard way. maybe her decision is right or if it's wrong, she definitely going to learn.
cheers
2006-10-15 20:52:47 · answer #1 · answered by Lars Ulrich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've given her all the advice you can give her. Let her have her own experience because she will probably not listen to you anyway.
If he's controlling and she moves in with im she'll see it better than ever and as their relationship is only so new, maybe then she'll make the right decision for her and maybe that's a better scenario than going on with him normally, getting more and more attached to him without being too close to see his bad side.
2006-10-16 03:03:51 · answer #2 · answered by rinah 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems you are regretting your action and feels she too will end up regretting.
Advising her may not work, as it didn't work in your case.
However you may call her your home, entertain her and get the feeling and issues you are facing and let her take the cue from there on.
2006-10-16 03:05:00 · answer #3 · answered by Rammohan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl I was there not to long ago myself and to tell you the truth again and again. I wish I had the answer to this one but to avoid being the bad guy here just be her shoulder to cry on and no i told you so's
2006-10-16 04:50:23 · answer #4 · answered by Dana 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her your story and give her your advice.ask her to ask him to marry her Before they move in together,just to see what he says.this may help her change her mind as her b/f probably won't,he may say he will,but not before they move in.after you've done all you can and she goes anyway,at least you tried,people have the attitude that things that happeen to others don't happen to them so ,let her live and learn as you did.someone probably told you and you didn't listen as well,we all have been there.good luck,you can't live for her.
2006-10-16 03:36:49 · answer #5 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends upon their chemistry.
U may trust someone even after 1 day.
And sometimes it takes years to really decide.
2006-10-16 03:20:26 · answer #6 · answered by Kumar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant tell her that without being controlling yourself. let her go. just be there if she needs you. and go ahead and check up on her in person if you think something's going down. if he won't let you talk to her face without him there then something is going down.
2006-10-16 03:39:23 · answer #7 · answered by ctwrabbit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read her this question. I think the caring tone is loud and clear.
Good luck, but remember it is her decision, you can only do so much.
2006-10-16 03:03:00 · answer #8 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so have a talk with her, but remember she is in love with him and will defend him. so do it nice and easy and tell her you love her and know what she may be getting into.
She might tell you to kiss off..........................so just love her and respect her decision to try it out.
just be there for her no matter what
2006-10-16 03:12:25 · answer #9 · answered by mother of 7! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the 1st answerer - top tip!
2006-10-16 03:08:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋