I'm convinced I've fallen in love yet my parents are telling me to wait til college to find true love. I always tell them they're filled with **** and it pisses me off to no extent. Is it really their decision? I mean true love can be found at any time in our lives right? I would never pass it up for anything in the world. I don't know do they want me to feel lost and alone. I guess they don't understand.
My parents also keep insisting "Oh we'll find someone for you"
Who the hell believes in arranged marriage. I want to find the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with on my own. Is this wrong? If I were to get an arranged type marriage I would never be as commited as I would be if it were TRUE love for someone who I knew was my soul mate.
Opinions?
2006-10-15 19:48:09 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok what the hell?! Why do people think this is some sexual relationship. Both me and the girl are virgins. We're both sensitive people and enjoy each others traits. And we both play the guitar and have a great time...
2006-10-15 20:09:27 · update #1
Comment for the robabard guy...
Buddy don't throw words into my mouth. Read the comment I added above this. Honestly people I don't have intentions of getting married NOW. But for my parents to tell me that I need to move onto someone else and not do searching now. That's a load of bull. I know I need to be able to support myself to get married. We both know that.
2006-10-15 20:14:29 · update #2
I think that there comes a time in a person's life when you need space from your parents. You may be in love and then something goes wrong - but it might be the true love of your life. If you think that it is - don't let it go for anything - not even your parents' approval. If you do you'll long for it and wonder where it went for the rest of your life. Parents are usually not really hateful- they just have one idea of what your best interests are and don't trust the training that they have given you about relationships and think you're immature - when really they need to just back off. Cut them a little slack - at least they do care about you enough to say something about how they feel. They may feel that they have failed to pass on a tradition and that you're rebelling. All of this is totally normal and natural. They only say to wait until college because so many relationships do actually end at that time. You also mature and grow alot in college - alot of couples do grow apart - but I know some high school romances that lasted a lifetime too. You need to follow your heart - 5-10 years from now your parents will have adjusted to you making more of your own decisions. Rebellion towards your parents vs. true love? Let it be true love - otherwise you'll just regret it.
2006-10-15 19:57:00 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you live in any kind of open modern society, then the choices and options in a sexual relationship are very large. You simply will not know what it is you really like and want until you are around 25. Since you are a guy, it will probably be longer.
So ... 1)it is highly unlikely that this girl is your true love. Sorry for the bad news, but you are responding like an excessively emotional adolescent, not like a mature man ready for a committment.
It sounds like your parents want you to go to college. That is supportive. It sounds like they are going to help you financially. That is supportive as well.
So ... 2)you are not "alone". You may feel lost, but that is due to excessive emotion. You have parents, college in your future and access to the internet - how hard can your life be? Your perceptions are skewed. THAT is what you need to work on right now, not obsessing over some girl.
And see, the trick is ... if your emotions were more controlled - which is what maturity is, feeling emotion but not letting them overwhelm you - then your parents wouldn't mind you seeing this girl at all.
Go rent "The Godfather". Watch the scene where Marlon Brando is talking to a singer modelled after Frank Sinatra. The Sinatra character is wearing a white suit. Watch that scene. You'll know what you should get out of it when you see it.
You're an emotional mess. Men, ready for a mature relationship, don't act this way. Realize who you are. Realize where you are in life and don't rush things. Don't feel panicked. Don't feel desperate.
And watch The Godfather.
.
2006-10-15 20:06:35 · answer #2 · answered by robabard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still studying and don't have any self esteem a self supporting guy can have. So until that is reached tell your true love also to wait. No sensible parent at this age and time will arrange a marriage her son/daughter against the wishes. This TRUE love issue at the tender ages may not be sustainable when the hard times in life comes. Be smart, be careful. Until you can stand your own, be good boy/girl and obey the parents.
2006-10-15 19:54:39 · answer #3 · answered by Rammohan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
true love is true love. I personally do not believe in arranged marriages. they work sometimes, but i don't think they are ever as happy as they could be. But I would suggest waiting till you live your life a little more before deciding what love is. I think your parents just don't want you to jump into something. If your still in high school then I would say wait as well before getting married or anything. If you can stay together with that person, and still have the same feelings for at least a year of not being with them everyday, then i'd think you are okay. this is just my opinion. hope it helps.
2006-10-15 19:53:18 · answer #4 · answered by majaji_2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are just protecting you from hurt and rejections, so o and so forth. I think you will feel the same way too if you have kids. I guess they want you to be success and not to be a daddy so early and missed all the fun of being teenager. Anyways, whatever your parents tell you if like someone, go ahead, just keep the pants close all the time. you can have relationship in a secret, but it is much better if tell them. But let them know that you will do good at school which is the first priority, make the relationship as inspiration to be successful at school. You will not get married until you finish college and have succesful job. goodluck!
2006-10-15 20:00:16 · answer #5 · answered by sure_whatever_29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, how old are you? If your not 18, then you do have certain rules you must abide by if your still living under your parents' roof. I do agree with you about finding that special someone. Have courage and faith in yourself too. Is arranged marriages a part of your culture. If so, that would be the most challenging of all. To be different from the ordinary. If you really want to make a difference, be patient.
Lots of Luck,
O'hock
2006-10-15 20:01:02 · answer #6 · answered by orcahock 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most of the time our parents say they know what is best for us,yet there are infinite cases where some of their best have turned to worst.i think u should be left to make your own choices so if u make a mistake ur parents won't be held accountable.It's wrong to force anyone into a relationship coz if u ever get married 2 a person u don't love,then u'll have wasted lots of time,because u will never be satisfied &u'll cheat on ur wife while trying to search for ur soulmate.parents always try their best to look out for us,which is a good thing but at times they ought to let us do what we feel is right for us,and if we make a mistake they should pick us up &show us the right way.go ahead tell them how you really feel,but if u fail(mess up)just remember that u don't have to succeed at first trial and that ur parents are just looking out for u.they'll be there for u even when u make wrong choices.Lots of luck
2006-10-15 20:11:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok.. 1st arranged marriage is not a good option. We both know that!
2nd- I think that you can find true love at any age... high school or college ...
There are different stages of love- I was in love in highschool.. and it is nothing like the love I am in now- in my mid 20's
I think that your parents just want the best for you- and they mean welll--- but I know it still hurts!
2006-10-15 19:55:24 · answer #8 · answered by jeremysgirltami 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well listen if u found ur true loe then she will wait p for u finish colledge first before u get married thats a very imp advise
arranged marriages are well not so cool but they still work out
u need to sit down and think about some stuff and make ur own decision
2006-10-15 19:54:32 · answer #9 · answered by jesica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents just want you to take your time and be sure to be serious about college. They want you to have a good future because they love you! I do agree with you on the point of finding love for yourself! Just don't rush it! A person can't make themselves LOVE another! Take your time and focus on college for now.Tell them in a nice way how you feel about an arranged marriage!
2006-10-15 19:56:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋