my sons gf is pregnant what should i do?

Question

he is 17 she is 21. its not his she is 6 months maybe more or less and already has 1 kid. they been together for 2 months and already talking marriage. should i forbid him or what.

myself i am only 34 and i am not with his father anymore. basically raised him just me and my parents helped a bit. the financial part of it he dont have to worry about he has a trust fund and i told him no matter what if he goes to college it is his and he is already enrolled so yeah.

the girl is not a sl*t or wh0re or anything like that the father of her kids was actually cheating on her and ended up losing her and his kids forever. so she isnt just looking for a quick fix.

Answer 1

i'll tell you what you should do.... get counselling it sounds like you and your son both need help. send him to boot camp while you can that way he has to leave her.

Answer 2

Being 17 is awfully young to start an already started family. But is he mature enough to handle the responsibility? Do they know each other well enough to be able to make the marriage work?
These are a few questions you need to ask your son. Support him the best you can. Cause he in the end has to decide. He also needs to think. What do I want to endeavor in the next say 5 years maybe 10 years. Can I do this if..... Will I do this if....
Is he an ambitious type of person? If so then I think he can handle almost anything. As a mother give him support and tell him he has to make the final decision and sit back and let him do so.

Answer 3

Well you ready to be a grandma? At his age you could stop it but only until he turns 18. I would sit with him and talk about it all and then sit with both of them. I'd flat out tell the girl that if he is going to help raise that baby then you want something done legally about it, don't allow him to raise him/her and then just be stripped from the life forever all because the girl found a man her own age. I don't know anything about either of them to judge them but in my opinion I think he only sees the romantic parts of being a parent and not the up all night listening to a screaming kid, being peed on all the time, the fevers, etc. For her, I see him as her rebound. Just watch him, and be there if he needs you. Don't push too hard or it will push him further into her arms. Good luck!

Answer 4

Don't sign the permission to let them get married, he might be mad at you for a while but he can wait intill he is 18 if they really love each other. But how can the baby be his if she is about 6 months pregnant and they've only been together for 2 months. He shouldn't have to raise a kid that isn't his (if he wants to it's honorable but still). Don't say "I forbid you" that's the worse thing to do. If he asks you to let them get married just say, "I'd rather not, you can wait till your 18." Don't call the authorites (as long as he is going to school and not breaking the law they won't do much about it even if he runs away. My bf mom tried this when he left b/c she told him to leave and never come back about 5 months before his eighteenth bd and they said "he is so close to 18 just let him go") and DO NOT try to confront the girl and become defensive because it will get back to your son and he will resent you for it. Just stay calm and collected, if he asks you for advice, give it in a non-judgemental way. Don't sign anything, in about a year if he still feels this way he can sign the papers.

Answer 5

At 17, I wouldn't suggest the forbidding stance since kids that age tend to want to rebel against things like that. If he's 17 and not close to 18, just relax for a little while this may run it's course. However, if he's almost 18, talk to him and her seriously about it in a very kind and respectful way. Ask them why they want to get married and how they plan on making it work? Hopefully, they are mature enough to discuss it and it will get them thinking. Good luck.

Answer 6

If your state requires parental permission for minors under 18 to get married, by all means withhold your permission. Maybe your idiot son will let his big head do some thinking before settling down with a woman who obviously is influencing his little head.

My brother got into marriage in a simillar situation - and the divorce proceedings lasted longer than the actual "marriage."

As for "forbidding him," there's not much you can do once he turns 18 - it's his life to screw up at that point. But remind him that whoever is her husband when she gives birth is automagically the child's father in most states - and unless he wants to be burdened with THAT financial responsibility, he should think twice about jumping into marriage!

Answer 7

Somehow you need to find a way to convince him to definitely wait on the marriage thing. Do you really think that you can forbid this? You need to get creative, so that he realizes on his own that this isn't the right path for him to follow. Still, a 17 year old having sex with a 21 year old is going to be a difficult battle to carry to success. Good luck. Whatever happens, make sure HE doesn't get her pregnant. Right now he has a way out of her pathetic life.

Answer 8

Hmm that's tough. It's not his kid you say? Well I would absolutely forbid any marriage talk. The thing is is you have to be careful how you go about talking to your son about what you think. He is going to feel that you are coming against him & might be pushed even more into this girl's life. I would lay out all the facts as to what the reality is. Explain to him what his life would be like and what he would be missing out on. Try and find someone that made that same mistake. It's worth a try.

Answer 9

well he is prettty young, and It's really hard to decide that, I have three boys myself but they are real young, me as being a mother putting my shoes on the other foot, I will sit both of them down together, and have a serious talk, and they also have to think about the future, can they afford a family or the question is can he afford a family, because you know once he get married he want be considered a young boy nomore he is going to be in a mans place.
Paying bills. Just have that talk with them Mom. Good Luck Too You!!1

Answer 10

If the state you live in needs your signature DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING...he will get mad, but he will get over it, and in the mean time it will buy you and your son valuable time to discuss what a bad idea it is for him to get married at such a young age and support 2 kids that aren't even his!! This girl sounds like trouble and she is obviously looking for someone to take care of her and her kids. Don't let his father sign anything either. Let him know that you love him very much and you are going to do everything in your power to protect him and to make sure he has the best life possible, and this isn't it.
One more suggestion might be to tell him to support her and her kids (not in your house or her momma's house) for a year to prove to himself that he can do this, then he can think about if he wants to continue this or not.

Answer 11

There is really nothing you can do since is almost of age and you separating them will make things worse. Yes you can ask him to hold off on marriage until he really knows this girl. But he really needs to think hard on what he is getting himself into. You as a mother just need to sit him down and voice your concerns and let him also talk on how he feels about all of it. Good luck this is going to be hard, but he has to remember that he has to be in the kids life for a long time even if they do split after marriage it would only be the right thing to do. You can't have him step into their lives and then a few years down the road decide that it's not for him. It's a huge commitment so he better be in it for the long haul.