Would the relationship still work?

Question

I had a long distance relationship for 3years(2in distance) but after several attempts to be with him I gave myself an opportunity of trying to focus on my projects leaving him behind.So I met another guy that now loves me very much.However,after that issue my ex finally purposed me and tried to be with me.I got desperate and angry with him because he comorimised after I found another guy.I was so disapointed by that time that I couldnt be with him anymore. Now, several months have passed and we still love eachother.Unfortunately the grudge is very big.He says he wants to be with me for the rest of his life, as much as I do. Im afraid he would never forget about the fact I had another guy, he also found some girls after we broke up but he didn´t involve himself emotionally like I did. Do you think it would work out if we got together again? Would you forgive your soulmate after all that has happened?You think you could manage to trust and respect that person the same way you did?

Answer 1

remember the old "you can forgive but never forget" the relationship should have been presented with some "rules" since it was long distance. they are hard to deal with first, then you have to deal with being alone or lonely. i personally dont think it will work since he cant forget now. love isnt enough sometimes...

Answer 2

I think that a person may have more then one soul-mate! I would not base a future relationship on just that alone! YOUR LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP MAN SHOULD HAVE MADE MORE TRACKS IN YOUR DIRECTION-SOONER! If you have an unsettled grudge between the two of you then settle that before marriage! Just getting married won't just make all the bad stuff go away. If you moved on and have someone else -that loves you very much that you care for as well -why hurt him! I can't tell you what to do but remember that when a relationship is over that were reasons for that happening! It sounds like he wants you now just because someone else does! I hope that you will be happy whatever you decide! GOOD LUCK! Stop letting yourself be upset because you moved on and found someone else! He had moved on as well!

Answer 3

If he's so certain that you are the one, then did he move?
Is he still wooing you long distance trying to win you, so that he can move when he knows that you are a sure thing?
Are you describing him as a soul-mate? This is a man whom you couldn't even agree where you live with, but he's a soul-mate?
You seem to have a man in your life that is more relevant to the life you have, & are considering tossing him asside for a man who may or may not even make a move to be with you.

You seem to have doubts of your own about your future with this man. Stop following your heart for a minute, & use your head. Does it agree with your heart, or does it say, ENOUGH!

Answer 4

Love is like a piece of glass; once there is a crack, it cannot be repaired.It is not clear as what made him leave you in the first place. How do you know that he is not emotionally involved with the other girl? It is useless to pick up the broken threads. Go ahead with the present one. Tell him that now it is too late.

Answer 5

Oftentimes, people become more attractive after they've found someone else. I would not advise you to go back to this guy because he didn't realize what he had when he had you. He could not have been your soulmate. If he was, he would have felt your heart and not have disappointed you so much. Soulmates are in tune with your feelings.

Answer 6

You both have problems with each other. I don't think the relationship would work.

Also, if I were him, I could never get over the fact that you were emotionally involved with someone else when you knew me.

It's a mess. Forget him and move on.

Answer 7

Does not sound like you really know each other. If you say you still love him, what about the guy that you claim loves you now? You must not be too attached or honest with him.Say you dump this guy, and go to be with the other one and then you want this one back. Let the old dreams and plans die.

Sounds like you need to be honest with yourself too.

I say no.

Answer 8

That's a big word with even bigger meaning, soulmate... if you truly believe him to be your soulmate, there shouldn't be a question in your mind & heart. Your soul mate is the one you are most unable to live productively without in this physical plane - the answer should be clear, but it's always confusing when it's happening to you, I know - you constantly wander if it's your own bias that's swaying your decision.
Is the ex planning to move closer or even move in with you? Or is he expecting to get married to you and still have a long distance relationship? What measures has he put into motion to show you he's serious this time? Marriage, as I've always said, is way too easy to get into and way too hard to get out of. He has to love you unconditionally and not just 'obtain' you so that no one else can. Why would he be unable to get over your having deep feelings for someone else while you were broken up with him? You tried to do the right thing for yourself, as did he. That's the way a decent chick loves and progresses in a relationship - we can't just detach ourselves and not bawl ourselves to sleep every night in the process thinking 'what could,should, or might have been'... we can't just sleep with someone and feel comfortable wishing he was someone else. We give largely of ourselves and we need to have a true connection in order to have a relationship of meaning -- I guess men must not normally think the same way (if you listen to all of the scientific studies, at least). I would personally feel more uncomfortable with someone who could have a number of meaningless relationships than someone that could find something as great (and horrible) as love for someone other than me. I would have more respect for someone who actually tried elsewhere and still found they only loved me in the end. It would prove to me that their love for me isn't farsical.
BUT, if they come back bearing a grudge because you tried to get on with your life without them, that's just crazy. It is part of human nature to feel the need for love, not just sex. Are you holding a grudge toward him because of his 'flings'? I might be crossing my boundries here, but he has no right! That is sooo not fair to you!!...to belittle your emotions and to be made to feel like you were wrong for having honest feelings for someone other than him?!!! Sweetie, that's just sick.
You weren't with him and you can accept that he dated while you were broken up, why shouldn't he be able to accept it, not ask about it, and move on if he really loves you and wants a life with you. TRUST ME, grudges ONLY grow - they NEVER disipate. It's either there, getting bigger, or gone. However big this grudge is now, it will only be greater in the future if he can't get over it.
There is nothing you can do about it, it is something that HE has to deal with within himself. Until he can seriously meditate and find forgiveness within himself for not treating you like the Goddess you are in the first place (note that I didn't say that he needed to forgive you, because make no mistakes, you don't need forgiveness), in your shoes, I'd have to say, perhaps we should think about this further and/or take it slow and see what developes.
Speaking from experience, you might think everything is wonderful, but once the magic is a bit stale in say, 5 years or so (give or take), your having something as pure and kind as love for someone else will be all that he will dwell upon. How could someone think smaller of you for having such wonderful emotion and care instead of being cold hearted and detached? That is what it boils down to, and when put in those words, does it make sense to you? I can't stress enough how that's just not fair to you, sweetie! I know who my soulmate is, and I would forgive him anything and everything in this plane and the next. I would chalk it up to being something that had to be learned in this life, and I would forgive without question, even if for fear of the option; not having him at all. I've also been told that I'm incredibly spiritual, enlightened and forgiving, as well, but isn't that what we are all here striving to be?!
Do yourself a huge favor and have 'the talk' with him before accepting his proposal. See where he REALLY stands and what his TRUE intentions and feelings are toward you - you deserve it and you don't have to settle for less.
I feel for you, I really do - but sadly, sometimes the ones we love the most aren't the ones that are BEST for us...

Answer 9

Sweetheart know one is perfect.....sometimes we have to forgive and forget or just move on....seems your heart is leading the way of taking him back and seems you want him so why not jump for that leap....if you don't you will never know what could of been....

Answer 10

No, because he's going to keep bringing it up, and its going to cause so much drama, and stress. If you really want it to work out maybe try couples counselling if you want the relationship that bad to work out.