i'm lovin everything about being 21 other then my love life. all the guys around me seem to be taken or just suck. there is one who is cute, intelligent, and under age. should i give him a chance or leave him for some younger girl?
2006-10-15 15:59:04 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Answer this question first: "Will I still be in love with him in 5 years, how good of a mate will he be, can we raise a family together?"
Love is important, but TO A WOMAN THE MOST IMPORTANT THING is the relationship itself. It matters little how you will feel about him in 1 or 2 years, but it matters a lot how you will feel in 5 or 10 years. You may not see yourself wanting children now, but you will want a mate that is one who you COULD raise children with. If he is that man then he is worth it.
I don't know where you are, but in the US a 19 year old can do pretty much whatever he wants (except drink alcohol), including dating, having sex, and getting married.
You didn't say very much about him, you seem to be stuck on the age difference. My parents had a five-year separation and they married right after my mother got out of college (my dad had to take a break for the North Korean War). So your age difference of 2 years is a pretty minor one.
Now you need to ask a lot of other questions:
You say this boy is cute (you are thinking of him only as a boy, why?), is that enough for you? You can call a dog or a cat cute, do you feel more for this boy then you would for a cat or a dog? I don't hear you say that you love this boy, do you, or is it just physical attraction?
Intelligence is a given requirement, no one wants to be with an open mouth breather that has flies going into his mouth and out his ears. But, the intelligence you want varies a lot. Do you like the same things; do you want the same things? What is it that makes him smart? I like science fiction and I can talk about science and science fiction all day. I have been to the Ren Fair, but not in a while, it doesn't hold any attraction for me. My sister loves it and she is designing costume and looking at jewelry, she is taking weapons classes and is heavily involved. Although I am older than she is she probably knows more about the Renaissance period then I do. However, I know about black holes, neutron stars, quasars, what happens at near light speed and so on. All of that would be boring to her, and if she started talking about designing a costume that would be boring to me. Yet, she knows more about computers and the Internet than I do. She is a better researcher on the Internet, and she knows how to use Unix machines. I have spent a lot of time on this board and answered a lot of questions, which proves my depth of knowledge. Both of us are intelligent, but in different areas. We can be together, but if we weren't brother and sister we probably wouldn't even have met. What do you have in common with this boy (or is it this little boy)?
How does he feel about the relationship? What are his goals in life and plans do you even know them? Just how deep is this relationship? Simply ask him where he sees himself in 5 years, 10 years, and 20 years. Can you fit into those plans, do you want to, do they dovetail with your plans?
Once you answer these questions about him and yourself then ask this question again, but I bet that you won’t need to ask it again, I bet you will know what to do.
You say that all the other men around you suck, so where are you. I don’t like sports so I if went to a sports bar I would feel out of place, if I was a woman I would think that the place and the guys in it suck. There is a simple rule of life; you are who you hang around with. If you go to “meat shop” like a bar then you are going to meet male wolves who only want to score, because these are the guys that go there. If you want to meet a religious man, you don’t go to a bar you go to a church.
What are you looking for in a guy? Do you like culture and the arts, then go to an art museum. If you like AC/DC or some other rock group then go to one of their concerts, hang out on their fan sites and message boards. In short the man you want is out there looking for you, but unless you go to where he is you won’t find him. You like this boy, so where did you find him? People do meet at random, love at first sight can happen, but for most of us we have to work on it and search for it.
Ask yourself the tough questions, and ask your boyfriend some of them, then decide. If you truly love each other than your age difference won’t matter. If it does, if there is something else that bothers your or that you don’t like, then you will have to move on. If you have to move on then move on to someplace where you can find the kind of guy you want to meet.
2006-10-15 16:41:25 · answer #1 · answered by Dan S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, i know you asked for girls advice, but I'm a 19 year old guy whose dating a 23 year old girl, and We do have some problems with the age thing, like certain clubs that I'm not allowed in. I remember this one time when she was invited to a party that was going to be held at a local night club. She wanted to take me along and introduce me to her friends, but I was 18 at the time and I couldn't go. I was a little bummed out that I couldn't come, and she felt guilty to the point where she said she didn't want to go. I talked to her about it, and I told her that she should go, and I wouldn't be mad at her if she did, then i made some sex joke which i will not repeat here. She had a great time, she came over the next day and she told me about it, and I decided to take her to dinner later that day. That was the day that we had the most passionate kiss of our relationship. So yah, there are problems, but if you find ways around it, you can be alright. Good luck with that guy, he might turn out to be the greatest thing that happened to you.
2006-10-15 23:16:29 · answer #2 · answered by arkainisofphoenix 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Under age? Honey in Australia the legal age of consent is 16. I don't see a problem - 2 years is nothing. Of course if you two really like eachother you could wait...up to you. Are you looking for love or to get some loving? True love is patient.
2006-10-15 23:06:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The age shouldn't matter. If there is something there, give it a chance. I have girl friends that have a great life, have married younger guys. He might be the one for you. Give it a chance and realize that age doesn't matter if that person is the one for you.
2006-10-15 23:08:20 · answer #4 · answered by ConfusedK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its really your decision..which doesn't help a lot. But 21 is the party age and 19 isn't, if you want to think about it that way. If your a big par tier then i say leave him, but if your not into the party sense then take him. You gotta take men when you find them these days...hope that helps
2006-10-15 23:03:35 · answer #5 · answered by firebaby212 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no take him im 21 and my 19 year old bf just turned 20 if he fits shach him
2006-10-15 23:07:05 · answer #6 · answered by 2sexxy4u 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
19 year old isnt to young for a 21yo in my opinion. I think 3 or 4 is to much, only depending how mature he or she is.
2006-10-15 23:21:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey im 18! date me!
2006-10-15 23:04:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should entertain the guy even more than that you should give him a chance
2006-10-15 23:15:55 · answer #9 · answered by joana a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just date him and see how it goes
2006-10-15 23:03:27 · answer #10 · answered by angie!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋