The love of my life and I have been off and on together for the past 2 years... We just got back together a week ago and while we were broken up I became a Christian. She's always been a Christian, but we've had a very sexual relationship for the whole 2 years. Now that we are back together, we still have a sexual relationship and it bothers me because I gave my life to God. We tell each other that we can't be real Christians while we are together, and we say we should end the relationship. But when it comes time to break up, she will say something like "Well, YOU break up with me!" and I'm like "No. YOU break up with me!" We just can't break up with each other because we love each other too much. But we just keep our hands to ourselves! Any suggestions?
2006-10-15 15:46:09 · 12 answers · asked by ks_stud_2005 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Some of you are wondering how old we are... I am 20 and she is 18 and we are NOT in a position to get married...
2006-10-15 15:55:14 · update #1
If any of you are wondering how old we are... I am 20 and she is 18... Marriage doesn't seem like an option. I feel too young!
2006-10-15 15:56:10 · update #2
Define "real christian".
Having failed that, stop being an idiot and bang your girlfriend.
2006-10-15 15:56:36 · answer #1 · answered by ModerndayMadman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a person becomes a Christian they often bring a lot of baggage into their new life. Old friends, old relationships, old habits, etc.
God knew all about these things before He called you into his family and He will help you to clean up the house of your life over time. I would suggest that you either stop seeing this person or only see her at church while driving separate cars. I know that it is really tough and God knows it too. If I were you I would be praying for God to convert her and try to get her into the company of Christian women who can have a positive influence on her life. It's not in God's will for you to marry an unbeliever so right now I wouldn't suggest that as an option.
Keep this matter in prayer and do your best not to be in the company of this woman when there are no safeguards to keep you two from having sex. God loves you and He has a plan for your life. Do your best to seek his will and He will honor your honest effort to do so.
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
2006-10-15 15:57:56 · answer #2 · answered by Martin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May I suggest the possiblity of group dating... to take away the temptations... Don't put yourself in a position where you can both fall prey to the temptations to do it. If you really love each other, choose to wait until you are married. Your marriage will be stronger for the discipline you develop during this time. I suggest you make a commitment to each other to renedw your secondary virginity. If you are adults... 18 or older, I suggest you bogth get some spiritual counseling from your pastor. And if you are adult, be mature and make your marriage plans. Even if you do this... refrain from sex til you get married and make that formal commitment to each other for life. Remember that having sexc is more than just fulfilling a sexual appetite. It is God's way of building bonds and creating a family. If you are ready to be a parent...and that's what you will become if you continue doing what you are doing... then act like a parent and be responsible. Set some ground rules for both of you... Then keep them. If you really love her... you'll do it. Love is a choice, not an emotion. Make the right choice!!!!
2006-10-15 15:54:40 · answer #3 · answered by rejoiceinthelord 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here are the options I see:
1) Stop having sex. If this is difficult (and I know it will be), don't put yourselves in situations where you can have it. Stay around people.
2) Get married. There could be logistical problems with this, so be warned.
3) Pray for forgiveness. A lot.
And, my husband wanted to add his two cents, so
4) Do the best that you can.
2006-10-15 15:51:45 · answer #4 · answered by spunk113 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my boyfriend had the same problem, here are a couple
things you can try:
-Keep the lights on
-Pray for forgiveness
-Try doing other things: Go bowling, Go to a Movie, Ect.
Hope this helps :) Good Luck :)
2006-10-19 18:54:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Understand that laws created 2000 years ago designed to smooth out legal implications of giving dowrys and land probably aren't applicable anymore.
So in brief: "DO HER!"
2006-10-15 15:48:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
do you want to abstain? (:))
if the answer is yes - stay sober, involve other people in your plan of abstaining and communicate truthfully with them about how you're doing. also, only be together in the presense of others (with the lights on).
if the answer is.. .um, well, kinda, yeah... keep doing what you're doing, and you'll have some sex and some regret... and please keep condoms on hand
2006-10-15 15:55:50 · answer #7 · answered by DANNY D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea. Quit thinking that God wants you to be celibate. Look how well this has worked out for catholic priests.
love and blessings Don
2006-10-15 15:49:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lets seee..
adore eachother enough neither person can bear the idea of being apart...
obviously physically attracted...
of like mind on religion....
I'd say next time you get in a "no you do it, no you!" ect arguement, pull a little burgundy box out of your pocket and propose. seems like the thing to do to me.
2006-10-15 15:51:44 · answer #9 · answered by RW 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you didn't say your age, but if old enough , you could get married.
but if you can't abstain from her , breaking up will not stop you from being with someone else
2006-10-15 15:50:56 · answer #10 · answered by xjoizey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋