Pre-marital sex and marriage?

Question

This is a serious question and I want a serious answer.
I agree its nice for both partners in a marriage to have sexual experience prior to marriage, but should it be with each other? Also, will too much of it with each other spoil the chances of a happy future married life?
Thoughtful and thought provoking answers from experienced people will be appreciated. You may rule out issues like HIV, STD, etc. when answering.

Answer 1

If individuals THINK before they engage in premarital sex, it doesn't necessarily have to be with their marriage partner. How do you know who that's going to be? I didn't marry my husband until I was 39. I doubt that I would have waited that long, and passed up some of the nice men I had been involved with before him.

Too much sex will spoil a person's perception of sex more than it will a happy future married life. ISex, like many other things, loses it's value with indiscriminate overuse. Some people are motivated to have sex as a means of assuring their attractiveness or to feel better about themselves; these are the worst possible reasons. The more insecure you are, the more likely you'll use sex as a means of finding security.

Frankly, my experience has helped me appreciate my husband. I know he had a life before me, but we both have history. That history has made us who we are, and part of why we love each other. Also, my experiences allowed me to explore my own sexuality, under my own terms. I could see my growth as a woman. I can compare sex at 20 with sex at 45; I've matured enough to know what it takes for me to be happy, and sex is just part of that.

Finally, having premarital sex with one's partner before marriage may change the dynamic of the relationship or the desire to marry. For example, although neither party has had sex, maybe they've experienced foreplay with others; maybe foreplay isn't as good with the soon-to-be husband or wife. If you've had some experience with premarital sex, you've also have (hopefully) learned how to communicate with your partner. If you haven't, then it's another challenge that can be difficult for even the most experienced individuals (experience is qualilty, not necessarily quantity).

Good question!

Answer 2

Heres the thing, i am not sure if you are a virgin or not, so I will say this, in my personal oppinion, how your partner acts in bed is an important part of the relationship, its something i think should be known by you. I think that as long as you are not sleeping around, and having sex with somebody you view as an object, pre-marital sex VS. sex after marriage is just a difference of, one day you werent married, and one day you were. It will make no difference in meaning if you have sex before if you truely love this person, and once you do get married, there will be so much passion on the honeymoon that it will all be new again, whether or not you do or dont have sex before marriage, it will be passionate afterwards, i guerentee it. do what you think is right, but dont feel bad about pre-marital sex, its ok, and a good thing

Answer 3

I think it is important that a couple have sex together before they marry for the same reason I think couples should live together before marriage - to get a very clear picture of what you are agreeing to before you commit the rest of your life to another. Too often I have heard from couples how surprised or disappointed they are in their marriage when they skip either of these all important steps.

I am finding in my own marriage that our sex life takes a lot of twists and turns over the years. There are times when we are very passionate and other times (some times long times) when we are not really into it. We have been married now for 7 years and are only just scratching the surface in this area so far - we know others who are already into sex games and role playing, but we are happy to wait until our sex life needs these boosts.

When I first got married I thought "this is what I will have to live with for the rest of my life" and now I can see that it is a long, long road and there are lots of twists and turns along the way. I don't think that too much sex with each other spoils anything - in the long run stress, financial worries, the work involved in raising children and managing interfamily relationships is what makes a marriage hard or fail.

Peace!

PS - I don't think waiting for marriage makes the sex better. I heard one woman was very upset that her husband was so well endowed that sex hurt and she was heart broken. I knew another couple where the man thought his wife was a disgusting pervert for the things she wanted to try in bed. I also know a couple who were very focused on how hard it was to have the other underfoot and in the house all the time, they couldn't get any privacy and it was a big problem for them. Each relationship is unique - I just think being prepared and really understanding what you are getting into is wise.

Answer 4

Well, its not like you will day if you have premarital sex. But it CAN
affect your marriage in the future (if you had sex with your partner before marrying her).

It is very tempting, but it will be so beautifull if you both wait until you are commited and married. That way you will enjoy each other more.

Answer 5

You shd not marry someone for sex. Why do you want to hav sex b4 marriage? Why do u want to know whether ur partner can perform well in bed or no? Is it that important?If the couple truly loves & understands each other then no such problems arise in married life.

Answer 6

Getting married for sex is wrong.
Being married to someone who is a bad lover is wrong.
Having sex with strangers is wrong (STDs etc.)

Having partners who connect with each other both emotionally and physically is more likely to yield a successful marriage later on.

Answer 7

Will you become a better person by having pre-marital sex? Is the experience needed. I think sex is an intimate act with someone we love. Anyway, there are no definite answers to life's situations.

Answer 8

Sex before marriage is just as wrong as adultery. Sex between husband and wife is the only sexual relation honoured by society and religion.

Answer 9

I think waiting until you beocme married with your life partner and having sex then is better than have sex before marriage.
having sex before marriage leads ot problems.
having sex after marriage. is much better you know one another very well to have it with them .and you know its right .
but if the other person selpt with someone else before marriage than u have a problem. because of dieases.
iboth man and women should know that in marriage it is rigth to have sex
if there is no marriage than why have it ..its a sin

Answer 10

I think waiting til you are married to complete the sex act is the most exciting way to handle this.All those pulse pounding moments should culminate on your wedding night.