Is this inconsiderate?

Question

Today is the one year anniversary of being with my significant other. Not wedding anniversary- Just being together a year. So the plan was for us to go out to eat. So when we get there his cell phone rings and it is his guy friend and he tells him where we are eating and his guy friend and his friends girlfriend come there and meet us to eat. I just find it really inconsiderate because I had gotten a babysitter to watch my daughter so we could have some alone time for this occasion. So the whole time we were there I did not talk and now he is mad at me and is like what the hell is your problem. I guess he does not see that that was rude of him to invite his friends to something we were supposed to be celebrating alone. What do you think?

Answer 1

I think you should tell him what is bothering you instead of pouting and ruining everyone's meal.

Answer 2

Happy anniversary!!! It wasn't clear to me if you partner actually invited the gang to join you two, or if they just decided to show up after they found out where you were. In any case you were obviously caught off guard and didn't handle the intrusion well.. I don't blame you ! In hind sight if it were me I would have spoken up--- told them it was great to see them all but you needed-"HIM"----all to yourself for tonight. That you guys would call them another time but tonight you weren't going to share him .Objectively, I see how your guy thought the more the merrier, wouldn't it be great to celebrate this special occasion with our good friends..you on the other hand had planned & expected an intimate time together away from the children just you & he to share some alone time. You weren't on the same page...what's done is done! When he asked you what the hell your problem was I'm sure he meant to say ...honey you seem really upset...what's wrong ? Please tell me so I can help make it better...Ideally you would have said :how flabbergasted you were that they showed up when you were soooooooooo looking forward to some one on one time. With your sexy guy....Tell him you're willing to forgive & forget if he arranges for a 2nd try at an intimate celebration where you can do some "very" special tricks to make him say let's do this more often! Imply to him what his reward will be if he makes it up to you...Give him a chance then make him wine/ (whine) and beg a little/ tease him till he's in pain...go for it! You know even after a year, "they" still make mistakes...It's how you handle his mistakes that will either enhance your chances for a two year celebration or not...Remember you're the smarter, wiser of the two of you !

Answer 3

Communication is the key to any relationship.Your boyfriend wanted to show his friend how happy he was and invited them to the celebration with you.I understand you wanted to be alone with your boyfriend.Prior to the couple arriving you should have let him know that you had planned on celebrating with only him. I think that was very childish to sit through dinner and not say anything. You boyfriend did this not this friend. You could have held a conversation with the couple and made the best of the evening. You need to call the couple and invite them to dinner and explain to them why you were acting this way. I am sure the friend girlfriend would understand but you being rude was not called for.

Answer 4

Are you certain that he realized you wanted to be alone or do you think that maybe he thought that it would be more like a party to invite friends? If he indeed knew that you wanted to be "alone" then yes it was rude and inconsiderate. In any event it doesn't justify being rude to his friends. Also, as you said in your opening it wasn't a wedding anniversary.

Answer 5

I totally agree with you as i would of done the same. The thing is you got a babysitter for your daughter..i mean if u knew u where having company, why wouldn't you have brought you little angel to ;.) the guy has to wake up, but really most guy's think nothing of it..DUHHHH, just tell him u wanted it to be a nice quiet special dinner for you and him to celebrate 1 year together bcoz if he doesn't get it know ....he won't get it later!!! Take Care XXX

Answer 6

It seems inconsiderate to you, but guys cannot read your mind. Next time you want a special date be very clear before hand what you want. Tell him exactly what you expect, that you don't want interruptions, that you only want the two of you. Do not assume anything. He really does not think the same way you do, so doesn't understand it when you are upset. That's how guys are. You have to be blunt and clear.

Answer 7

i agree. he should have told his friends no, and plan something with them some other time. that was rude of him, very inconsiderate. if he had already planned for the friends to be there, again, he should have told you ahead of time, so that you didn't 'expect quality time'. talk to him about it, nicely. and make sure that he understands your feelings. most men don't even think about it, and it may not have even phased him. so talk about it. the best way to keep a relationship going, is communication. so talk to him. and plan a night for you 2, and you 2 only, and make sure he knows that for the next time. good luck

Answer 8

I think u r misunderstanding each other. An anniversary is a celebration, so why would he not invite pals to join in?Did he know u were going to have a heavy conversation?Talk more

Answer 9

You are right. That was inconsiderate. But he is also sending a message. He doesn't value the relationship the same way you do. And he doesn't value your feelings. Watch out for this. If it gets worse, you need to move on.

Answer 10

Yes, it is inconsiderate. Especially because you arranged to have someone care for your child so you could be alone. He should have made arrangements to hang out with friends another time

Answer 11

I don't think it's inconsiderate, but I do think it's a bit inapropriate. His values with this may just not be your own.

I'd sit him down and talk to him about this calmly and tell him that you really expected to be alone with him.