I just got out of a 3 year marriage. I stopped loving my husband 2 years ago. My highschool sweetheart and I had a serious relatinship for 9 years on and off. So he came over 2 months after the divorce.
I told him I wanted to try our relationship again, we had a love that was like a movie, and he's single and I'm single. He responded by saying"the man u knew is dead. I am a new man, and I've been hurt too many times and I don't want a serious relationship".
So, he spent the night after our talk(we did not have sex), and all night long he held me in his arms. I am still so in love with him, and I want to be with him. He left this morning, and hasn't called since. Should I just move on, or keep trying to get my man?
He said he just wants to be friends, but I know there's more to us.
2006-10-15 12:57:32 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't give up on this guy. Maybe he has had his heart broken before, but that doesn't mean things can't work out between you two. You shouldn't try to rush into things though, this will push him away real quick. Just for now, enjoy his company, time, and take it for what it is. Once you've proved to him that you're not out to get him and you really do want to love him, not hurt him, maybe he'll consider giving you a chance then...I don't know, but in this situation, I wouldn't take no for an answer...he needs to be loved, and I think you're just the girl to do that! Good luck!
2006-10-15 13:27:17 · answer #1 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH the DRAMA! No, I don't think you should pursue him... move on.
He either is uninterested or a drama queen. Either way, I'd be "out like shout" Remember, "all good things must come to an end" There are some high school romances that years later can rekindle, but they're few and far in between. Take some time and figure things out before jumping into another relationship and marriage. Do you know why you stopped loving your ex after just n1 year? Do you know know how to avoid the mistakes of your past? Because if you don't, now's the time re-group. Get rid of baggage, don't bring it along for someone else to carry. Good luck!
2006-10-15 20:08:16 · answer #2 · answered by N0_white_flag 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have any chance at all, you will first need to sit down with each other and lay ALL the cards on the table. I mean you both need to be able to tell each other what you would like to see changed in the other person and HONESTLY tell all the reasons why a relationship between you both would or would not work. And that means to be ready in case he tells you about some of your ways he might hate. The key words here are OPENLY HONEST on -Both Sides-.
You might save some pain and trouble by remembering what split you 2 up the first time. Just be prepared in case he has a few gripes about you. :))
2006-10-15 20:26:35 · answer #3 · answered by Chuck S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should move on otherwise you are in for a heartache and perhaps an emotional rollercoaster ride. He already gave you his answer in the form of "the man you knew is dead" and "I don't want a serious relationship".
Doesn't sound like the action of a man who really wants you other than anything casual.
2006-10-15 20:04:02 · answer #4 · answered by The boy from London 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not what you want to hear i am sure but i am a bloke so have some experiance in said matter. I think he is with someone else, but is in love with you enough to show respect to you. IE by not sleeping with you, also showing respect to person he may or not be with. Wich ever way you look at it, seems like a nice chap. So hang back and see how he feels. Could be that he feels pressurized. Any way sorry to boar you but hope that helps in some small way.
2006-10-15 20:04:09 · answer #5 · answered by Nick n his Dog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Nurse,
I would let him be for the time being and give him time to figure out where his head is at. Most guys take longer than we gals do to figure out where they are and what they want out of a relationship. Definitely keep in touch with him if you like, but try to play it cool, as nobody wants to be with someone who acts desperate. Also, if you are friendly but a little distant, he will be more motivated to chase you, as most men love the chase. Know that if it's meant to be, it will happen but only if you let it unfold and happen naturally.
Good luck! :)
2006-10-15 20:33:16 · answer #6 · answered by bookyone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like you are really in love and ready for another serious relationship with this man who you fell out of love with then go for it. But if you feel like you aren't ready just become friends and grow from there.
2006-10-15 20:01:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he's playing on your vulnerability as being newly divorced. since you are recently out of such a long committed relationship-which wasn't what you were looking for-your kind of like a babe in the woods again. him saying the old him is dead sounds like he lost some of his trust and seems like he's covering his tracks before he sh!ts all over them.make sure your feeling are for him and not just because you were so unhappy before.
2006-10-15 20:02:42 · answer #8 · answered by cassiepiehoney 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This same situation has happened to me, or a similiar one. Stay friends with him, close friends. Let him stay over a few times and something is bound to happen. Just make sure he's not using you for sex, if that ever happens.
2006-10-15 20:03:58 · answer #9 · answered by Angie M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
none of this is about your men.... what is going on inside of you... that's what you should be pondering.
was your ex really that bad of a man? you can't just stop loving someone, it's a lack of maintenance and commitment. And I wouldn't chase after this man. I would be by myself for a bit and see exactly what I am doing to myself.
God Bless
2006-10-15 20:00:18 · answer #10 · answered by carlaerickson 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋