My boyfriend is almost useless, he has nothing to offer and basically treats me like crap all of the time. He is childish and annoying, and I have no sexual attraction towards him. I miss having a sex drive towards a guy so badly and almost can't stand the horrible sex life we have anymore. He is like a five year old child. He also ignores me and keeps leaving and not spending time with me and then always has an excuse why. He is selfish and uses everyone with no consideration for what they do for him. Yet he always insults me and tells me what a lousy person I am. I am so unhappy and I want to leave this relationship but I get too lonely and bored. It is out of the question to break up with him so what else can I do?
Should I look for other guys while I'm with him and then dump him when I find someone? Should I just treat him like crap back and not do anything I don't want to do for him? What should I do? I'm lonely emotionally and want to be loved and cared for.
2006-10-15 11:18:28 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Totally out of the question to break up? It really does sound like the best idea though!
If the only reason you are still together is that you are afraid of being alone then you are in this relationship for the wrong reason.
Break up!
It may just be the motivation he needs to change. If not, you are better off alone! When the stress and pain exceeds the happiness in a relationship, it is time to make some changes or move on.
Buy a vibrator and move on!
2006-10-15 11:24:07 · answer #1 · answered by Brad NZ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you wrote this when you were pretty upset and angry. You should think about the solutions when you are in a good mood and spirit and not when you are feeling down. I know how you feel because I am in sort of a difficult relationship myself, but I know I want to make it work, and I know it is up to me also. It takes two to tango.
So.. I have a few thoughts on the subject, First of all- I think if leaving him now is not an option for you, then you obviously have feelings for him and you still have hope. So you either work on that or accept that it is over. Second, happiness is something that you have to do for yourself- no one can make you happy, you have to make yourself happy! So dot blame your unhappiness on him. Third and most importantly – if you cannot be alone, and you are bored etc etc., how can you expect someone else to want to be with you and be happy? You have to be able to like yourself, first, be able to spend time with yourself and enjoy your own company. Only then you can have a healthy relationship with someone else. You have a dependency issue because you expect the man in your life you make your life good. This is not how it works and this way you will never be happy because you will always depend on someone else to do it for you, If he is not the right guy for you – let him go and begin a new relationship – this time with yourself! Do things that you like, discover what it is you like and dislike.. like – read book, go to school, go to a movie by yourself, even go to dinner by yourself. Take a long weekend trip by yourself, and enjoy the company of yourself! Once you do all that and you figure out who you are and what you need, you will also discover how you can be happy, what makes you happy and what you can offer someone else and a relationship to make it a good one. then you go and find the right person to share all that with..
Good luck and god bless!
Tami
2006-10-15 11:38:32 · answer #2 · answered by tamoooosh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl if you settle for dirt that's what u get. If you think u are better than the things u settle for then hold out for something better. Only u can be satisfied with what u want and if u are unhappy with him then u know better than anyone else if this relationship is for u. if u are lonley emotionally then no one can change that but u. Don't go lookin for something that may not be better than what u already have it'll come to u. The grass isn't always greener on the other side
2006-10-15 11:25:08 · answer #3 · answered by mojajazmo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth would you stay with someone that treats you like a doormat?!!!???!!!!???
If you listed his finer points:
childish
selfish
annoying
useless
Then I really don't understand the debate?
If you continue to keep punishing yourself by staying in this relationship, you have no one else to blame for your misery. Get out while you still have some self-respect, and figure out what exactly you want from life. You might be surprised just how well off you are WITHOUT THE BOZO!
Stand on your own two feet, and show him the curb.
2006-10-15 11:30:35 · answer #4 · answered by ImNotTheBrightestCrayonInTheBox 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to just say bye to that loser. He is already showing signs of abuse. like for instances insulting you and telling you your a lousy person, as if he some kind of King. Leave him. You are not happy and he sound like a selfish self-absorb jerk. You need to dump that guy and find you a guy that respects you and treats you like a human. That guy is a waste of time and energy and sounds like he has some mental issues. You need to think about yourself first. You have to love you first, don't ever expect some man to make you feel loved, you have to love yourself and get your self together emotionally are you are going to keep on getting loser guys like this one in your life. I say dump dude, get yourself in check and then when you are ready find a good man.
2006-10-15 11:31:52 · answer #5 · answered by crash 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You needn't treat him like crap back, it will only make you feel low, but don't worry, he'll get his karma so leave his punishment up to the universe.
on the other hand, if you feel so bad when your with him, why would it make you feel bad and "bord" if you weren't together? don't let yourself be used, stand up for yourself too. Leave him because the situation deffinatly calls for it.
Don't let yourself settle for such a low life, even staying with him out of mere bordom is settleing for something low, and your better than that.
You will find someone much better than this guy and when you do, trust me it will feel sooooooo good.
Just stop looking! if you keep looking for a guy , then you will only attract another just like him. let yourself be independant for a while and gain all your confidence back. If you feel bad and low, then you will only attract a mirror reflection of that times 3.
So let yourself feel good and positve first.
Then let yourself be found by a good and positve person.
remeber your mirror reflection. If thats how you feel and believe yourself to be, then thats what you will find and attract. remeber to forgive him too, as much as you don't want to, you have too in order to feel the best for you. your not forgiving him for him, your doing it for you.
good luck and best wishes to you. you dont deserve to settle and be treated so poorly by anyone.... ^.~
2006-10-15 11:34:49 · answer #6 · answered by Red Crayon Aristocrat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I only read the first two lines of this before I clicked "answer" because that's all I needed to read to say "dump him" and move on. You can do better and there is LIFE after him. Life is too short to sell yourself short. You do not need a man to make yourself happy. Keep yourself busy and do everything you need to do to take care of yourself...then after you truly love yourself...you can love another!
2006-10-15 11:21:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm able to easily communicate from my own previous adventure reason I definitely have been there and that i need to be trustworthy....my dating didnt final. He became a marginally "small" guy in that dept besides and that i wound up being sexually unhappy which carry approximately being green with envy and choosy approximately the different little element approximately him that I didnt like which in no way stricken me in the commencing up. After years of being sexually unhappy and then having a toddler I grew to alter into chilly and distant and as quickly as we might attempt to be intimate, i could get pissed off by way of fact he could fumble and be clumsy. i'm unhappy to declare that i ended the dating customarily by way of fact we weren't sexually well matched and intercourse happens to be significant to me. My ex and that i at the instant are suited friends, yet I dont think of i ought to have spent something of my existence with a guy that didnt fufill my desires.Now i'm married to a guy that instruments of fireworks in the mattress room and that i'm a satisfied and obedient spouse.
2016-10-16 05:48:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitly do not deserve this. If you feel so strongly about this you can first try talking with him. If things still don't work out I suggest you look in your heart and find whats best. Possibly break up with him and find a man that deserves you.
2006-10-15 11:21:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him first, and then find a better quality man. You need to take the high road, and show that you are the better person. Cheating while with him will just drag you down to his level.
You can do better. Leave him, then date others.
2006-10-15 11:21:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋