My husband and I enjoy going to our favorite restaurant. The service and food is great except that there is a waitress who flirts with my husband. The first time I let it go but when she did it again two months later, I gave her an odd look and tipped her only 10%. My husband agrees with me also. What should I have done or my husband should have done? What would be the best behavior to act on it? Should I notify the manager about it and what should I say? I know her first name?
2006-10-15 11:17:02 · 36 answers · asked by Diana 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Don't tip her at all. Soon she will not want to work your table. Tip all the other waitresses so you still get good service. If she persists beyond that just say we want another waitress. If she can't accomodate you tell her that you can explain to the manager that you need another waitress.
2006-10-15 11:19:15 · answer #1 · answered by tenaciousd 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why do you care so much if some waitress is flirting with your husband? How insecure can you be? I could understand if you were bothered if your husband was doing the flirting, but you can't do anything about what some random person does. Are you going to freak out every time some woman looks at your husband? It’s insecure, clingy women that react like this that give us all a bad name and make men fear relationships and especially marriage.
I've been married for 11 yrs and if a waitress was flirting with my husband I'd take it as a complement - that someone else notices how attractive he is but I know that I'm the lucky one that gets to go home with him. And it would be the same in reverse if some guy flirts with me a little, my husband doesn’t get worked up about it, he knows that it’s just someone else who is appreciating the view but that he’s the only one that gets to do more than that.
2006-10-15 11:34:43 · answer #2 · answered by blueseptembers 2 · 3⤊ 5⤋
I would alert the manager what is happening, and tell the manager which waitress is doing it, and that you will stop eating at this establishment if it continues. Believe me if he thinks he is going to lose regular customers because of some silly waitress - he will be taking care of the situation.
Or you can either request that she not be your waitress the next time you are seated, and if you are the direct type - call her down about it - right in front of your husband - the next time she does it. Just say - you DO realize that this man is my husband, and you are acting inappropriately to him- RIGHT?!?! It will be slightly uncomfortable - but she will know that you mean business and are willing to embarrass her in public if she continues this flirting with your husband. However - I would not have her as your waitress again - since she might spit in your food.
OR - your husband could take care of it by not responding - or giving her a big old negative response when she hits on him.
Lastly - make sure that your husband is not somehow encouraging this flirtatious behavior - by laughing, smiling - going along with her.
2006-10-15 15:21:14 · answer #3 · answered by Karla R 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she's not gettin' the hint about u feelin' uncomfortable wit the flirtin', I'd "mean mug" her.
Mean mug- Stare at her wit the coldest eyes; look at her and roll your eyes (make sure she's lookin' at you!); sneer at her, etc.
If she still doesn't get it, confront her. If the b*tch is STILL flirtin', THEN it's time for a catfight! Some people think ur just being insecure. That is a load of BS. Confident or not, it's rude for a waitress to flirt with your boyfriend/husband. Some waitresses do on purpose in front of u as a challenge.
2006-10-15 14:45:52 · answer #4 · answered by angeltori1432 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I'd just laugh at her. It's nice to know your husband is on your side on this one. That is the most important part. Maybe she seriously does not know how to waitress in a pleasant manner without flirting. Maybe you and your husband should just make a joke of it and let it go.
2006-10-15 11:20:42 · answer #5 · answered by Ana 5 · 5⤊ 2⤋
If it bothers you that much, ask to be seated in another section. She probably does it because the first time she was your waitress you tipped her big...she remembers you.
It's not like your husband is going to go home with her. Waitresses always flirt with men...it means nothing. TRUST ME. Lighten up - its no biggie, unless you don't trust your hubby and you are insecure. Your hubby knows how you feel and supports you - thats all that matters. :o)
2006-10-15 11:22:02 · answer #6 · answered by firehorsetwo 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You can ask the manager that some other waiter would be serving your table. You can tell the manager this is your favorite place but you would prefer that other waiter would work with you. Let them take it from there.
Waiter's job includes making customers feel good and welcome. If customers don't like it - don't do it.
Less tip or no tip affect the whole crew, not just that particular waitress. Customers that don't leave tips without indicating why are disliked and regarded as greedy. Not leaving any tip might make her try even harder.
2006-10-15 11:20:24 · answer #7 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Seriously? Should you notify the manager because the waitress was flirting with your husband?? Is there a law against flirting? I think you should either get over it or stop going to this restuarant.
2006-10-15 11:30:24 · answer #8 · answered by Morley 5 · 1⤊ 5⤋
well I'm a guy but let me tell you a little story.
i went to the bank to withdraw some cash,and the teller started flirting with me. making comments about how sexy my accent is,how good i look and so on.(I am from Va and moved to NJ and she is about 25) well i just laughed and told her don't bother flirting I'm very happily married with a son . so i went home and when i came in i was still laughing, my wife asked me what was so funny so i told her. she started laughing also.
she didn't get upset because she knows i love her,and I'm going to stay with her as long as she will have me. i also have many female friends around my age( I'm 10 years younger than my wife) and it don't bother her. I'm not attracted to them at all.they are just fun people to hang with. i am not jealous of my wife's male Friends either why because they ain't got what i have.......her
you are way over reacting,maybe she is just over friendly,or just over trying to be a good waitress for tips. you could be right she could be flirting ,but nonetheless your husband is not going for it and you should not worry.
2006-10-15 15:22:43 · answer #9 · answered by cuervo25_1 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unless your husband is flirting back, I wouldn't worry. Take it as a compliment that you've got something someone else wants. I'd probably be a little miffed, though- don't tip her a few times and see if she backs off. That and the combination of your husband ignoring her should end the problem.
2006-10-15 16:53:16 · answer #10 · answered by JustMyOpinion 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋