My dad is such a ***?

Question

Okay let's begin.
I wash the dishes, take out the trash, collect all the cans & bottles, clean the bathroom, do the laundry, help cook dinner, mow the lawn, help build sheds, move furniture YET i still don't DO ENOUGH TO RECEIVE AN ALLOWANCE. anyways, when we go out to fast food restaurants he does buy me a meal only my little brother and my little sister. I have to skip studying and my daily reading, which is for a book report because it takes two hours to cook dinner. I can't go upstairss while dinner is being made. I have to wash dishes it there is only two dishes in the sink. He wakes me up in the middle of the night because my brother wet his pants and he does not want to DEAL WITH IT. I don't go out on the weekends because HE NEEDS HELP. I don't party. I don't do drugs. Now I'm failing because i don't have to time to finish my homework or study. any advice, tips, comments, etc.

Answer 1

I have to agree with cupidgirl, take her advice!

Answer 2

First , let start by saying that you should not get an allowance simply because you do chores. Every member of a family contributes in different ways. Back in pioneer time it was expected. Now people expect payment for helping out in the family. Second, have you explained to your dad that you need to do these things for school? If so, and it doesn't matter is there some class time or study class you could do some stuff in? How about you tell your dad that you are behind and need extra help after school. Bring him a letter from your guidance councelor if he doesn't trust you.Is there a relative that you could talk to to help your dad understand your side of things? I hope this helps. Good luck.

Answer 3

Ok, you have got to be leaving something out of this story. When we have kids, we expect them to pitch in and help. On the other hand they are not slaves for us. I do not pay my children an allowance either, but they also know when they want something all they have to do is ask and if they have been pitching in, they'll get it. What is he doing around the house and for the family, anything? You need to speak up and tell him that although you don't mind doing your share, you are a child trying to get through school and with all of these responsibilities you are falling behind. maybe he doesn't realize how much he has been depending on you.

Answer 4

Where is your Mother? Your Dad sounds like he is putting you in charge of the Mother role and he is taking it easy. I would tell my teachers at school. One you feel you can confide in and who will listen. If this does not work report him to children's services. You will all end up in foster homes till he gets his **** together. You shouldn't be mowing lawns. That is a mans job.
I knew a story like this but the father was also molesting the daughter. She went to her priest and as with most priests he was less than useless. He blamed her. She wound up committing suicide. So do something about it before it becomes worse. Doing some chores is one thing becoming the mother and failing school is child abuse. Talk to a counselor at school or a really good teacher. They will be required to do something if not report the abuse to Children's services.

Answer 5

Where is mom? (Hope that isn't a powder keg question.)

If no mom to speak with you need to get your other relatives you trust involved. You are not the man's wife, you are his daughter, not a slave or maid or childcare provider.

Last resort if no family support, counselor at school. This is serious stuff and you need to address it now.

Waking you up in the middle of the night, etc. is bordering on abuse. Be very careful but get help.

Answer 6

wow, it sounds like you are having a really hard time. I guess your mom's not around. it's hard being the oldest and having to take care of the younger ones. You should at least receive an allowance for all your help if you are the only one doing it, but maybe your dad can't afford it. maybe when your dad is in a really good mood you could sit down and try to talk to him about it. if that doesn't help, maybe you can go to your school counselor to discuss your concerns about school. hope this helps, and good luck.

Answer 7

Sounds like you need to get a job and become more independent. Your father isn't necessarily "using" you. Maybe he's working 8 hour days and as a single parent he has it rough taking care of three kids. If you're working too, you can help pay for babysitters or day care for the younger kids, while you pursue your goals and get an education.

Answer 8

where is your mother? if you dont have a mother there, then you shouldn't be expected to take her place. you should have some chores, but what you are describing is way too much to expect.
your dad needs to stop pushing his responsibilities off on to you. You should tell your school counselor because that is ridiculous. besides, you should be concentrating on your grades & enjoying the rest of your childhood. you're right, your dad is an ***. im sorry you have to deal w/ that-

Answer 9

Do what you need to do before you come home. Do you homework at school or the library. Get a job so that you're making money for the work you do, and you spend less time dealing with this.

Answer 10

wow. comments. you are a very good girl!
KEEP THE GOOD WORK. sometimes parents are not the way they should be. after all they where abused kids once.
just focus on your studies...do well on school... as your dad why he is being like that, and dont make a long face when he tells you something..do it..then ask him daddy can i have some allowance... also tell him that you need time to study.
do well in school....so when it would be time to leave your home...after a college degree you would not have to depend on your dad.

Answer 11

tell him you cant be doing this stuff all the time or tell him exactly the way you feel about this how you have no time to study, work on homework, ect. plus tell him you will help when you are done with homework. you should get saturday or sunday to yourself or with friends the way you work!!!


hope this helps

ps you could set up a scudule(dont know how to spell it, but hope you get my point)for when you, your brother and sister do chores and have your dads name on there too(see how he likes it (dont make it to obvious) )