How can you see yourself ever having sex with him? I'm in a situation where I'm dating a guy but he's not attractive, and he's 20 years older than me but something about him just draws me to him like a magnet. My friends think I'm too pretty for him and they make jokes. How do I get him out of my mind? He seems to be a nice guy...it's just that I can't see myself having sex with him anywhere in the future...
2006-10-15 10:33:52 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you're drawn to him like a magnet, then he IS attractive... to YOU!
Don't listen to your friends.
Are you happy with him?
I wouldn't have sex before marriage, but that's just me.
Follow your heart.
2006-10-15 10:40:23 · answer #1 · answered by emilsignia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After the first 5 years of marriage... sex makes up about 5 % of the interaction between two people...
I'd say you respect the guy, but why did you start dating him if you were not sexually attracted to him? You know he's going to want it from you... That's normal...
Maybe you could help him with his looks... Different hair cut, different look (mustache/beard)... Your friends sound pretty juvenile if they are making jokes...
How do you truly feel about him? Do you love him? I'm assuming you haven't had sex with him yet, since you can't see yourself having sex with him. How do you know you wouldn't enjoy it? Have you girls ever seen your faces when you orgasm? Talk about scaring buzzards off road kill.
Either learn to look past it and live with it, change it, OR I guess you're going to have to break off the relationship.... It's not right to lead him on to a non existent future...
2006-10-15 17:45:37 · answer #2 · answered by James B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, hopefully even though you are 20 years younger than your mate, you are mature enough to realize that a real relationship is based on love and connection. Aesthetics may be what initially attract you to a person, but it doesn't do much to hold the relationship together. If you base a relationship solely on superficial things like that, you will never experience the depth of a REAL, mature, and reciprocal relationship. It may be difficult to have sex with this person, but there are two types of sex. There is sex based on lust (physical attraction, sexual desire) and there is sex based on love. When you truly, deeply, appreciate and love somebody for the way they are, that in itself begins to make them attractive to you (although maybe not in the physical sense). You can still enjoy making love with somebody who is not necessarily physically attractive.
2006-10-15 17:41:05 · answer #3 · answered by 123123123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personality only counts in borderline cases. Personally if I'm not dieing to kiss someone then it will only ever be a friendship. You should be honest with the guy, and never drink too much around this 'charmer'.
2006-10-15 17:41:31 · answer #4 · answered by hankthecowdog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok why must everyone judge on the cover if he is charming and loveing to me that would be almost enough. hope u dont hurt what sounds like a sweet guy and u shouldnt always listen to your friends.
2006-10-15 17:36:45 · answer #5 · answered by Renee B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him know that u aren't interested anymore, before it goes on any longer. You need to look deeper into a person not just the looks. what do you care what your friends think, maybe they are jealous. looks aren't everything, its about the person inside. you need to find someone who is closer in age.
2006-10-15 17:38:47 · answer #6 · answered by Lorrie W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
20 years older is WAY TO OLD..
I'm sure there are pleanty of hott young men available to you...
dont waste your life when your young, that old guy just wants to get some from a hott young lady like you
2006-10-15 17:37:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you like the guy, he makes you haapy thats all that matters but i can give you a tip when you are in that intimate situation with him dont look at him, close your eyes and think of the most hot guy you can imagine.
2006-10-15 17:39:10 · answer #8 · answered by Obria 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been put in such a situation, but I personally would not take further. You need to be sexually compatible.
2006-10-15 17:42:41 · answer #9 · answered by bestwomanberry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow.
i would say get over his looks and look into his person.
but your with a dude whose 20 years older than you and you are like "how do I have sex with him".
lady please, hold your legs together and find a man you can see as your peer and partner, not your uncle!!
2006-10-15 17:36:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋