Are my standards too high, or am I just mean?

Question

Im a senior in highschool.

I think my standards may be too high, heres why:

1. I usually dont talk that much to girls that i just meet who i dont think are good looking enough to go out with or hang out with.
2. Every time i meet some1 new, in my mind i am jumping to a quick yes or no answer as to weather or not they are good looking enough.

Then the girls i meet who are "good enough" either have a boyfriend, or their personality sucks.

im lost and depressed... help

Answer 1

There's nothing wrong with having standards, but you might be pricing yourself out of the market.

What if you've got your heart set on a job that pays $40 a year, and someone offers you another job that pays half as much? Sometimes, you've got to grab what's available, or you'll just end up unemployed.

I wish I had another shot at some of the women I've passed up.

Answer 2

I don't see why you can become depressed unless if you are not satisfied with what you have... This must mean that you haven't met a girl that you like, and had liked you back, correct? (Feeling of rejection?) Nowadays in the dating scene most people are like you. We all look for what we want, and when we don't find it, that person is gone, quick. Though this is bad if you are considering it from a love psychologists' point of view, it does have some good for yourself. You'll have to work at it. Don't worry. You'll find the one, but you'll have to work hard if your standards are high. You can find her anywhere (internet, streets, etc.), but there are only 1 out of 20+ girls who fit your standards (beauty, available, and have good personality). Your standards are high, but your reward will be great if you succeed.

Answer 3

If you limit the people you're willing to be friends with based on their looks...then you're being shallow. This means there are hundreds of people who could be REALLY great friends or who you may really enjoy hanging with...and you're missing out.

The whole "lost and depressed" part is your own fault. Quit thinking that you're only as attractive as the people you hang out with, and try finding (AND BEING) a really good friend.

You have to realize...you're only looking to hang out with attractive people because you're insecure. You're afraid to be "judged" based on who you are. You think what's important is that you're SEEN with people who meet some physical standard. What really matters is that you take the time to see people as they are INSIDE and develop your own INSIDE, and quit worrying about how someone looks.

(Secret...don't tell...all those "attractive" people are going to age. Unless they have lots of money to spend having surgery..they're going to get wrinkles...and go gray or bald...and gravity is going to make things sag that you don't even want to think about...and they'll get age spots...yeah...it don't last forever, hon.)

Answer 4

Have you ever maybe thought that you might not be good enough for them. Sorry, but you sound like a Major snob who's so preoccupied with looks that you can't see the important thing, personality! This usually is because the person who is so preoccupied of looks is devoid of personality. Get over yourself!

Answer 5

Maybe you should try and get to know the person first, even if they aren't supermodel material. Most of the time a good personality can make you find that person even more attractive. You need to stop looking for girls who dress skanky...those girls will be *********.s. with no personalities. Not all good looking girls are that way...trust me! :)

Answer 6

Nope.. I don't think there is anything wrong with being like that. It means you don't want to waste your time with someone you are not attracted to. You are looking for a girl who you can be attracted to. What's wrong with that?? If you don't find them attractive, how can you build anything on it??? I don't go out with ugly dudes, so I wouldn't expect you too either. You will find what you are looking for,. it just takes time. No reason to rush into anything, just to have a girlfriend. It will not work anyway... if you aren't that attracted to her.

Answer 7

You are probably lost and depressed because your standards suck. . .let's see. . .how good looking are you? Since you don't seem to have any prospects right now then girls are probably doing to you what you are doing to other girls. . .not wanting to be with you and lying that they have boyfriends to not hurt your feelings. Ever think of that? Girls do it all the time!

Answer 8

It seems you are being a little shallow. Don't get me wrong, personally, I think looks are important. But try looking past the physical appearance. You may find that girls that you consider to be "your type" are not your type at all!

Answer 9

well i have been in your spot before, when i meet a girl i either look at them as either totally nasty, good enough to screw, or good enough to date. but if you just go by looks your gonna pass up tons of great women. looks do count, i mean you def have to be attracted to the person, but if they are just average, give them a shot and get to know them. you will most likely end up liking them more after you get to know them. or in other words dont judge a book by its cover.

Answer 10

I think your standards are too high but I would have to say that if you are going to date someone, then there has got to be some kind of physical attraction there. (Alot of people look better once you get to know them and see their personality)