Would you?

Question

I have a daughter with a terminal illness. Want to have another baby so she can meet her brother or sister and vice versa before the inevitable happens. Everyone keeps putting us off because my daughter is hard work and they think she deserves one to one care. What do you think? Would you? I know i shouldn't be asking real serious questions like this on here but would just like an outsiders opinion. Thanks xxx

Answer 1

if i felt the time was right then yes i would.!!!!
i think that only you and your partner can decide whats right for you. i can see why you would want to have you daughter to have they joy of being a big sister. i think you should ignore everyone else and make your own minds up, if you feel you are ready and would be able to cope with a new baby and your daughter, and you have 100% backing from your partner then i say forget everyone elses opinion and do what you feel is right for your family. i have a friend who has a very handicapped daughter who loves being a big sister to her little brother and 3 little sisters. as long as you can cope and there is love and support who's to say you cant have another child. good luck and I'm sure you will make the right choice for your family!!!

Answer 2

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter I can't imagine what you are going through. I don't know what I would do if that were my baby girl. I think it is something that you have to decide on and know in your heart. My personal opinion I know how I felt when I was pregnant and don't think i could go through that on top of caring for a terminally ill child. I think to be fair to yourself and your daughter personally wouldn't have a child until after your daughter's passing and see if you still want another child. Because if you want it so your daughter can meet her sibling is a wrong reason to have a baby at this time. Good Luck

Answer 3

I think it is an evitable thing that happens to many chilldren and your daughter must question why you haven't considered it her own mind. I don't think it's wise to put yourself off the idea because it may make your daughter have the further burden of feeling it is her fault you cannot consider the idea, and another reason why she is be treated as special when what she most likely wants is to be as ordinary as possible. Ofcourse you want to do the right thing by your daughter but not living life is the very thing that may remind her daily of death. Ask her what she thinks and explain that this is because you want life to be normal, prepare well for all the feelings she may display in reaction, maybe get some professional help in order to discuss such matters as a family. Make it a joint decision but don't be afraid to involve her, it will make her opinion and as a consequence, her life feel so valued if you include her. Don't listen to sceptics, they want you to hold off because it makes them more comfortable and you have your life, your daughter's life and your future child's life to consider first, not the opinion of doubters. I wish you well whatever and I am sure you do all you can to make the ordinary, special. Don't treat her with kid gloves, she'll hate it.
Good luck and love to you all.

Answer 4

This is one of those things you decide with your heart, I think. People are putting you of because they think you need to devote your time to your daughter and I think I agree, but I also see what you are saying about wanting your next child to meet the great person your first Daughter is. The choice must be your families, but consider:
are you going to be able to take care of yourself and your sick child at the same time? When you are pregnant you must take extra care of yourself and it sounds like you might need to care for your daughter and put yourself second.
Also, is the reason for having another child to replace the one you may lose soon? That can be hard on the second child who will never be the same. Do not start grieving enjoy the living time fully and completely

I say to you make the choice wisely and with your heart and know that whatever you decide your in my prayers

Answer 5

Thats such a hard question 2 answer, I think that if u feel the time is right 2 start tryin 4 another child u should go 4 it.Only u & ur partner can decide.. don't let any1 put u off if it's what u really want. Best wishes Xxxx

Answer 6

This is a tough question. I don't think that I would have another baby right now. You have your hands full and really your daughter needs 100% of your time and love right now. Her illness is not her fault but I think if you have another child she might feel like she is being replaced and that might hurt the time she has with you.

Answer 7

Put yourself for just few moments in your daughters position. When a second child comes into a family, the existing siblings could react in several ways, they may embrace and enjoy their new brother or sister or may resent them a little for taking too much of mum/dads attention away from them (whatever they say). Do you really want to take the gamble on the impact it may have on your daughter? Enjoy her love and give her all of yours, it is too precious to play with.

Answer 8

Yes I would have an other baby, like this your daughter can see that you looking the life forward. Also i think it would be good for the second child to meet your daughter, like this he/she will remember her and will be able to understand one day, in case of your daughter lost. Anyway i think you will make the best decision with help of god and love. I wish you lot of goods.

Answer 9

Firstly I think it is very difficult to put yourself in someone elses position so I am going by my instinct on reading your question and I think having another child will bring up a whole host of reasons why you should'nt have one but you know yourself once you give birth to your baby your life changes and you never look back it just seems as if they have always been part of your life, I think it would be wonderful for your daughter and for you

Answer 10

Very sorry first, can't imagine the pain you are in. At the end of the day you do what you feels is right. I think personally it would help ease the pain and it would be nice to focus your attention on someone else and I really don't think your daughter would suffer as she would always be a priority to you always. I am sure it would be nice for your daughter as well as little girls naturally love babies. In short please yourself, as no-one else is in your shoes and you would be doing it for all the right reasons.