I am going through 2 major POSITIVE life changes but feel like the bottom is dropping out.?

Question

New job offer and new boyfriend. I am 40 years old and have handled numerous bigger changes (too many to count). I feel as low as my spirit can go, and I wondered if anyone else has experienced this. I also have slight OCD inclinations, and the symptoms have been worse since I started the relationship with this new man 3 weeks ago. Does anyone have words of wisdom? Thank you, in advance!!

Answer 1

Three weeks isn't a hell of a lot of investment. Dump the boyfriend and concentrate on settling in to your new job.

Answer 2

Ok... I am younger than you, 28. However, I have had SEVERAL life changes considering the fact I've lived on my own since I was 16 years old.
I am now in college, and I have taken numerous psychology classes.
My first answer answer to you is that people will often times ruin a good thing for fear of the unknown (the unknown would be "what will come in the future").
If you are feeling low, a lot of it is probobly the fact that inside you are scared of what is going to happen. A new job can be nerve racking. Getting used to the changes of that, and the stress of having a new boyfriend, of whom you have to get used to as well. You are older, therefor you are going through what is called "the aging-out" process. As people get older, they start to slow down and expect things to slow down with them. They don't want the stress of a bunch of changes, they are more looking to be stable and have a routine.
I think that you are feeling low because you are nervous and scared of everything that is happening, and the fact that it is all happening at once.
I say just relax!! If you are going through a job change, AND you have a new boyfriend... I think it would help to know that your boyfriend supports you through this tough time of getting used to a new job, the new people you will be around, and a new routine.

As far as OCD, you REALLY should see a doctor about that. I have had ocd since I was a child, and I have been put on medication for it. There were times when I was younger, and a teen that I would not be able to sleep because I was to busy being repatative. If your ocd is getting worse by the days that go by, you would be best to get help now before it gets out of control.
I will say, if it is not bad yet, you most likely won't notice it if you keep yourself busy. The worse ocd gets, the more you notice that you are repatitve. Just know that ocd CAN interfere with your daily job duties and daily actitivities.

I wish you luck, and keep your chin up and a smile on your face. ;)

Answer 3

Yeah I'm the same way. I have full blown OCD, but it currently is under control. when some people are stressed out about other things, the OCD gets worse. That's because the compulsions are a coping mechanism with anxiety. So we naturally up them subconsciously when we are feeling uneasy.

Change is hard to deal with. I suspect that something about this boyfriend and or job is making it more difficult to deal with than past changes, even though you think these changes are minor than ones you've dealt with before. If you haven't dated in awhile, maybe the new dating is stressing you out. I remember when I started dating again after a horrible break up, I started getting panic attacks. Is something about this new job offer freaking you out? I think that you just need to ride it out and wait to see how things are when they are all settled. Maybe it's just the fact that things are up in the air right now. It is just a job offer, not a set plan and it is a new boyfriend of 3 weeks, so that isn't all that set yet either.

Since you are feeling so bad, it might help to go talk to a therapist who could probably bring out in the open what is so hard for you about this. I think you will be OK once all this is settled though. Good luck to you!

Answer 4

Even positive life changes can be a source of stress. My advice is three fold, take the job, take it slow with the boyfrieind, talk to somebody about why the OCD symptoms have been worse since the new man came into your life. You need time to absorb all the changes, and you need a lot of You time, so don't let the new relationship manipulate too much of your You time, until you find out the answer to your OCD question. Right now is the time for you to look out for number one. Go easy on yourself!

Answer 5

What you are experiencing is normal. I feel a little shaky too sometimes for no apparent reason. I'll tell you what I think the problem may be is the subconscious. We hear bad news on tv, the radio, and from other people so regularly, that we internalize all of this. I know that I see more homeless people, hear about more crime, and just weird stuff happening all around. Maybe you should say something positive to yourself everyday. A word or a phrase that keeps you on track. Say it all of the time. I do and most times it keeps me pretty regular. I wish you good luck and be safe in your travels.

Answer 6

Maybe if you have slight OCD inclinations change does not come easy for you. It's a shame you can't enjoy your life, especially now it's going your way. Sounds to me like you're in a destructive behaviour pattern and deep down you know that you are going to destroy what you've been given. You need to break the cycle - deep thinking and help if you need it.

Answer 7

Even positive life changes are very stressful. Moves, new relationships, and new jobs, I am sure rank high on the list. Focus on the big picture when the whole thing starts to get you down. One day at a time. I wish you the best.

Answer 8

Consider that change is stressful, even when change is good. You have two big changes and you just hit an aging milestone which is especially hard for women who might want to have children. It happens to everyone.

The feelings may come from the stress, or they may come from the hormones. You might consider getting a physical to see how your health is, and asking for an antidepressant to help you through the period of change.

Here is the good thing - fundamentally, all is well and the feelings will pass.

Answer 9

see a professional but a three week relationship shouldn't send your head spinning or make you feel blue. Talk to someone since you said you have OCD tendencies...we can't help you. Good Luck

Answer 10

hi from England, Nic. it fairly is an fairly emotive posting and, in my opinion, an fairly brave one, too. even nonetheless you will possibly no longer yet recognize it, you have already taken the 1st actual - and the toughest - step to addressing your sadness. look at it this form, Nic. God made you, and while you're solid sufficient for Him you're extra beneficial than solid sufficient for something human beings mere mortals. Agreed? great! attempt to evaluate all your gorgeous features - features that are yours and yours on my own - and look at your gorgeous character, too. enable it artwork for you: it fairly will if given 0.5 a huge gamble. in my opinion you have been very cruelly taken care of - the guy worried isn't something extra beneficial than an absolute immature bounder who had no purpose of springing up a real dedication. you're extra useful off without him, have self assurance me. As time is going via - and confident, i comprehend it incredibly is uncomplicated for me to assert that - you will start to sense plenty extra useful. there is an previous adage which states that "the optimal steel has to flow in the process the hearth". it fairly is exactly the place you at the instant are, Nic, and have faith me as quickly as I say you would be extra useful for the suffering you have continued. comprehend something? I certainly have absolute faith on your skill to upward thrust to the exterior back! Are you going to instruct me perfect? of direction you're! in case you sense it incredibly is going to help to speak this through, you're maximum welcome. Regards.