i went to court years ago to keep my grandaughter,should i offer my drug addict daughter access supervised ?

Question

should i contact my daughter to ask if she would like to see her 9yr old daughter,supervised of course,or should i leave well alone, as my daughter has never asked to see her,she went on to have two younger kids, taken from her by social services,they are my 9yr old grandaughters half siblings,i couldnt take the other two children as
i find it hard enough,but it upsets me terribly, my daughter just doesnt seem to care,when i try to help her,or talk to her, she tells me its her life &she can do what she wants,& ive to get lost! shes nearly 30yr old,what a waste!!!!!!!

Answer 1

i think you should first try to get your daughter enrolled into some kind of NA program and then she might realize what she has been missing.

Answer 2

Leave well enough alone. Why are you helping your daughter in the first place? You need to stop contact with her. It's important for you to draw the line and the line is your granddaughter. You can NOT allow any harm, physically or mentally, to happen to her. Your granddaughter having a visit or visits is only going to be detrimental to her. What your daughter is forgetting is that it is no longer just HER life, it was the 3 kids that she brought into the world life as well ( did that make sense ). Having children is supposed to make you see things in a different life and apparently that didn't happen with your daughter. If you have sole custody, then you need to cut ALL ties with your daughter. If she is so selfish that she can't straighten her act up to raise her children, nothing will make her straighten it up. Get a restraining order and do not let your granddaughter have ANY contact.

Answer 3

Iam in a similar situation..But not as a mother but a sister. My sister is 34 and has 3 kids her oldest is 16 and lives with our mother and her 2 youngerst are 13 and 14 they live in other places. They are only half brothers of the 16 yrs. old. My sister is addicted to drugs as well and has been for about 7-8 years .For the past 2-3 years shes gotten into intervenous drugs use and has been in and out of jail. I never in a million years would of thought that she would of ever done this to her kids!! She was always a great mom and loved her kids and did anything for them. But when the drugs came along they took all reasonable thought away from her. They made her not care about anything. .Its hard on the family because they have to watch the kids suffer because there mother doesnt want them anymore. I know in a sisters point of view that it can tear your heart out! But you can only do what you can do. Until your daughter gets herself the help she need you have to sit back and watch. It hurts but theres nothing else you can do.The only thing you can do..well your doing it...help the kids as much as YOU can . Good luck

Answer 4

i think that you should leave well enough alone. your gran daughter is happy the way her life is. right? you said it your self your daughter does not care so why subject this 9 year old little girl to someone she don't even really know, and sounds like she is better off not knowing. yes it is very sad that your daughter is this way. i am a firm believer that these girls that are on drugs yet end up pregnant should be made to have their tubes tied. so that they don't keep bringing unwanted children into this world. i know this may seem harsh, but these poor kids that have to live with or with out an addicted parent must be offal. so i say no leave well enough alone.

Answer 5

I know its hard and mybe sounds cruel but I say No dont let her see her. You said your self she has never ask to see her. That alone should tell you she dont care. Anyway as long as your daughter is still on drugs it would be to dangerous to let her see her. As for the other two it wouldn`t do anybody any good to take them if you dont think you could handle it both mentally or financially. As long as your daughter keeps her drug addiction ways it would be to hard for your grndaughter to understand why her mommy picked drugs over her. You also could not know how your daughter would react to seeing her. If she is having a bad day she could say or do things that could hurt your grandaughter. I will pray for you, your grandaughter, and mostly for your daughter.

Answer 6

I would not offer even supervised visits if she is not requesting them. That last thing you want is for your daughter to set something up and then not show, that would not be a good situation for your grandchild. Unfortunately, your daughter is an adult and there is nothing you can do to change her behavior. The best thing you can do it to take care of your granddaughter to the best of your ability. She needs you and I commend you for taking the responsibility. Hopefully your daughter will wake up someday and realize what she has lost, but I wouldn't hold my breath. Just focus on your granddaughter and don't try to force your daughter to have a relationship. That will just make things worse. Good luck!

Answer 7

wow how terrible. Ok Now is not a good time for your granddaughter to see her mother this way. There are other ways to seek help for her, but like u said she has to want it. You can maybe send her pictures instead and show her what she is missing out on. Do not allow her to see the lil girl especially if she doesn't care. This will only hurt the child and she is still much young to understand why her mom?? Allow some time maybe with alot of prayer as I am sure you have been doing she will come around, continue to pray for her recovery. God ALWAYS hears us!!!!!

Answer 8

you have to make it VERY clear to her that she cleans up...comes off the drugs and gets her act together...don't let your granddaughter see her mother in a drugged state...it may upset her...tell her she has to come off drugs and ONLY when she's been clean for a few months...then let her see her daughter, but for now i would not contact her unless your 100% sure it's the right thing...she has also had 2 more kids and does not see them either, maybe this is just best left alone for a while...if your granddaughter sees her mother it may frighten her, also your daughter may reject her, so please put your granddaughters interests first...leave it for now...contact your daughter and ask her to clean her act up....if she refuses, then forget it....you have raised your granddaughter for may years and she is used to your lifestyle...imagine what would happen if she ended up in your daughters home one day and there was a bunch of her friends snorting and hitting up infront of her..what would that do to your granddaughter? it sems that your daughter is not at all interested in any of her children, so i think you should leave everything as it is...but it's your choice....do what you thinks best for your granddaughter

Answer 9

If it was me and taking in to account she doesnt seem bothered and your grandaughter doesnt ask about her I would leave things as they are, you could open up a whole can of worms. Maybe try and give your daughter a choice, say to her that if she is willing to change her ways and get help you will let her see her, but firstly find out what your grandaughter feels she might not want to see her mother.

Answer 10

Leave your daughter alone, I say that because both my parents were on drugs. My grandmother wanted them to be apart of my life. To shorten a long story it was a big mistake to contact them.They weren't ready, i was hurt time and time again when they chose drugs over me. I had a wonderful grandmother that raisedme, as far as im concern shes my mother and father.

Answer 11

Don't make that kind of effort unless the 9 year old little girl wants to, it may make her very uncomfertable or even depresed. She is a child her natural curiosity will get her, but don't try to force it bc u think it's time...she will feel somehting like that.
Tough love