I quit drinking and drugging several months ago and although I've succeeded in severing ties and associations with certain kinds of people and places not conducive to being "clean," I've not necessarily been successful in ways of finding other people/places to replace that. In an effort to correct the problem I've made various attempts attending local churches and related events. Seems that Christian types just really aren't that receptive to me being where they're at, to say the least. I'm well- groomed, intelligent and my attitude is basically optimistic and friendly. I'm not exactly in that category of beautiful people, but then again, I'm not hideous, either. And so I'm wondering what the problem is. Is it me or them?
2006-10-15 08:54:39 · 21 answers · asked by paganvegan 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
you are treated like that because most people believe that people dont change so they think that your the same.........
2006-10-15 08:56:27 · answer #1 · answered by NiNi 1 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Why stop at just being "clean"? Go to a gym, pick up some iron, do some laps on the track and in the pool. If you are looking for people to appreciate a healthy lifestyle, they are the ones who can relate to you more so than indocrinated people wanting you to be like them.
A healthy lifestyle is not among the more important things to Christians, nor necessarily is being nice or optimistic (Christians can be among the most pessimistic of people) - it is what you believe and profess. Or putting that in a more favorable way to the churchgoers - they are more concerned about you cleansing your spirit and soul than your physical body (according to their notion of doing that, which varies among different churches).
Frankly, churches can be depressing and turn belief into a ritual and a chore.
If you are not so athletically-inclined, you can find a club or volunteer for an organiztion where you can discuss and debate topics of interest, or participate in interesting activities with like-minded people.
Anyway, congradulations on kicking the habits - hope you can continue.
2006-10-15 17:39:49 · answer #2 · answered by Joseph 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your problem. They will be who they are. But you have changed, which by the way is awesome. It's your problem because you don't need to go to church to find good people to hang out with. You should try another social group that has the same interest you do. For example if you like art, go take at that hobby and find a class or some group that enjoys it and start over from there. Best of luck!
2006-10-15 15:59:44 · answer #3 · answered by tofu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's them. Frickin' forget that crap of thinking just b/c you don't drink and do drugs anymore you need to go to church to find good holsum ppl. Let me tell you the type of ppl that go to church.....they are insecure unhappy ppl need to be brainwashed into thinking that are better than anyone else b/c they believe in a higher power.
Here's my suggestion.....take some classes at a local community college. Something that you've always been interested in but never had the time b/c you were do things less constructive. You'll find new friends that are intelligent and fun.
2006-10-15 16:01:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If people don't accept you for the way you are it is their problem. that being said as long as you are not walking into church with a belligerent attitude. I know that you will find the right church for you if you just keep looking. People need to learn to be more friendly to new people walking into the churches. I could write a novel, but I will keep it at that. I hope you find the right place for you don't give up.
2006-10-15 15:59:20 · answer #5 · answered by Lilat180 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good job on quiting drinking and drugs, that is very hard thing to do. By what you stated in your post you a had a change of heart, here is a scripture that will help. 1Samuel 16:7 ".....for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." If a local church does not welcome you, walk out and look for another, you will find it. Good luck in your spiritual journey.
2006-10-15 16:10:51 · answer #6 · answered by Bobby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congrats on cleaning up, stay sober and don't worry about close-minded christians, just hang in there and people will learn who the new you are! Maybe you should relocate and start all over!
2006-10-15 15:57:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you answered your own question. Take it slow and find good hearted people. Stay away from church cliques. Do your cleaning up on your terms, not theirs.
If there's a question, then there is no question.
2006-10-15 16:02:33 · answer #8 · answered by NO delusions 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
None of us know you or "them" well enough to give an accurate answer. I also love all these comments about how it's them, Christians are so judgemental, I mean I've never met any of these people personally but I can tell you exactly what they're all like because stereotypes have shown me how to make broad assumptions about this group of judgemental people that all think alike, when will they be as nice as us.
2006-10-15 15:56:32 · answer #9 · answered by westfallwatergardens 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Tell them your story, and it could be your testimony. Keep searching for people that will accept you for who you are. Do not go back to drinking and drugging, you have come to far to go back. Good luck.
2006-10-15 15:59:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not you, it's them. They haven't yet learned how to love and not judge someone. Keep looking and you will find a group who will welcome you. I would keep trying. Remember that you don't have to tell your past to anyone. It's the present that matters. Keep up the great work. I'm proud of you.
2006-10-15 15:57:05 · answer #11 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋