ok, me and this guy dated for 4 months and we were both crazy about each other until one day he told me his feelings changed for me, and i broke up with him because he was confused about his feelings for me. i really love this guy, he was the first guy i dated that made me feel like a person and not a trophe. i blame myself for being heartbroken because i fell in love with him too much. its been a month since the breakup and i still think about him 24-7. ive told him how i feel and he still doesnt love me, i dont expect us to get back together, but i feel confused and lost and im goin nuts. we both agreed we'd be friends since we didnt end on bad terms, but weve only spoken to each other once since we broke up, and that was on the net. im moving out of state soon and i let him know today, but i also imcluded in the message " i just thought i should let you know, but you probably dont care anyway" i want to get over him and stop cryin, can someone plz help me how to deal with this?
2006-10-15 08:36:00 · 7 answers · asked by sarah_gotdance 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm really sorry to hear about your boyfriend, Sarah; I'll try to be as sensitive as I can when I say this:
People change throughout life, and as things happen, individuals react and adapt to new situations...
Sarah, do you remember when you first met this guy? Who he was, the way he acted around you, the way he looked at you... all of that changed during your relationship. All the things that you didn't know about him before helped to form your perception of who he was. As you learned more about him, you grew to love him, and he in turn grew to love you.
Sarah, if you take the man you first met and the man that you love and look at them from your perspective, they're almost two different people. Because of your relationship, because what you two felt for each other, this guy became someone whom you felt worthy of your love.
Loving the guy that you first met would have been a mistake, because when you first met him, it wouldn't have been right and it wouldn't have worked; he didn't love you yet and he didn't feel that way about you.
It's the same now; you two haven't gone back to being acquaintances, but he no longer loves you, he no longer feels that way about you. He has changed, Sarah: he is no longer the man that you deemed worthy of your love, he is no longer the guy that shares your feelings and hopes for the future of a relationship with you. For all intents and purposes, you are in love with a different guy than the guy you dated for 4 months. That is how you should deal with it.
I'm so sorry, Sarah, but you're clinging to the memory of what used to be, and every time you see this new guy's face, you think, "That's the man I love, why doesn't he love me anymore?" The truth is that it's not the man you love that you see when you look at your ex-boyfriend.
Don't hold on to what used to be, Sarah, because the man with whom you shared all of that is gone now. Be glad that it happened, remember what it was like, think of all that you have learned, and know that for 4 months you built a love that ended up falling down, but the blessing of the knowledge that you have gained from that experience will be with you always.
email me anytime slyguy_hzleyes@yahoo.com
2006-10-15 09:03:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Really rocked your world! I'm sorry but this one will only be healed in time. There is no quick fix for a broken/empty heart. Do things to stay busy; do activities with your friends, try a new hobby, work out at the gym, anything to keep yourself busy will help you cope with this. Bu tyou will only get over it with time.
I had a bad break up from the longest relationship I ever had, 2.5 years. I broke it off because i neede to. But it was the hardest experience n my life up till that. It's been years and I am still not completely over it. Don't live with it like I have done. It will be harder to get out of the rut.
Let your friends help you out. Girls night out will help too!
Good Luck!!
2006-10-15 08:47:00 · answer #2 · answered by elliott 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand how u feel. It doesn't matter if you've dated someone a couple days,weeks,months or years. Feelings are feelings and you can't help how you feel about someone. The hardest part is knowing that they can move on and you can't...so not fair. But like all things hard as they may be, time will help ease the pain. Every day that goes by will get easier, just be patient and take pride in knowing that what goes around comes around!
2006-10-15 08:46:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moving away will really help you - I did it to get away from someone that I loved dearly, but knew the relationship was not going anywhere. The futher away the better. Time heals all wounds and once you are in a different place, you will be so busy learning your new surroundings, you will get over him before you know it. You have to stop communicating your feelings to him.
2006-10-15 08:45:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on, theres a lot more guys in the world. That guys not worth it. If u 2 ever get together it wont be the same. Becuz he doesnt love u he loved u bit then he stopped, its wrong go meet some more guys and enjoy life
2006-10-15 08:43:10 · answer #5 · answered by Pau 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will take some time but things always happen for a reason. maybe there is someone better out there for you. ive had a few relationships like this and the best thing i have found is just to surround yourself with good friends and just relax let things work themselfs out. it will get better
2006-10-15 08:41:44 · answer #6 · answered by Troy T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then accept it and move on,there are many more of them out there,go find another.
2006-10-15 08:38:46 · answer #7 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋