Hi,
I've been with this guy for a year and I love him with death but any time that I try to talk to him about something that bothers me involving him and I, it always ends up in a fight, then him telling me to get the F out of his house, and then it's over. It's routine when we fight. A day later or so we'll make up and be fine. He even mentioned that he feels like when he's mad, he has to say something that he knows will crush me to satisfy his anger at the moment but feels horrible about it later. Then of course I lash out too and just leave for a day or so to blow off steam.
How do I talk to him without this normal cyle of bs? I've tried everything I can think of. HELP!
2006-10-15 07:56:06 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I love him to death, lol. Sorry
2006-10-15 07:56:58 · update #1
what are you trying to tell him, just talk calming to him and start off saying you don't want to end up fighting.
2006-10-15 08:00:52 · answer #1 · answered by me. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is ur approach?? if u approach a man with "you always...." or "why do you...." he will be on the defensive. I suggest that you ..i know this sounds corny... write down some serious points that u want to make and suggest he does the same. this will keep ur DISCUSSION on track. stick to the points u want to make and don't resort to name calling, blaming, ect. Use "i" and "me" statements and take ownership in your part of the downfalls in the relationship. (remember not to take all the blame there are two ppl in the relationship and one person cannot take all the blame.) and When u feel that the discussion turning into an argument STOP end it and pick it up again later when u two have cooled down.
If u too cannot come to an agreement and he continues to hurt you and doesn't seem to care that he is hurting you u need to let that relationship go. it will hurt but time heals all wounds.
Be open and honest with this guy and that is all u can do. if he won't change then u need to change boyfriends!
2006-10-15 08:07:34 · answer #2 · answered by mekhia81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a confusing thing, and I hate to say it but this sounds like an unhealthy relationship. No offense.
If he can not communicate the negative feelings without a level head, I think he needs to find out why. Any discussions should not occur with any emotions, as that emotions can make you say things that #1 you don't mean & #2 you can't take back.
You need to find out if he is capable of sitting down and having a mature conversation with you and find a way to not doing it an accusational way. Because at some point these conversations are becoming as such and emotions are coming into play.
Wish you luck, relationships heading down this road, rarely come back.
2006-10-15 08:03:07 · answer #3 · answered by pariah6.9you 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its a cycle....never gonna change unless u really leave him for good. why would anyone wanna put up with b/s ?? go find a guy who will treat u like u should be. and he crushes u w/ his anger?? umm tell him to go work out and get his anger out on the punching bag or something. girl why are u putting up w/ his shi.t ?? yea u can love him and all but if he loved u at all he wouldnt put u through hell. sorry but either leave or deal w/ his fkn bull.****
2006-10-15 08:00:51 · answer #4 · answered by yahoo2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound good - being on an emotional rollacoaster like this is not sustainable in the long run - eventually you just run out of steam - have you tried to talk to him about going to anger management??
2006-10-15 08:00:22 · answer #5 · answered by misscynic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first he would not see you as fat --- he sees the girl he loves ---- asserting that it must be an theory to say no to tell him you prefer to anticipate marriage --- sure you're sorting out him yet too many adult men in basic terms prefer to have intercourse and then bypass away that's loopy yet no person accused those adult men of being the brightest ---- if he remains whether you save asserting no then you definately comprehend he needs you for who you're ---- then you definately can say sure once you experience like it --- verify its private comfortable and you have a lot of condoms --- suited desires
2016-10-16 05:39:33 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe try to say something along the lines of " it makes me feel ..... when you do this" if they understand that what they are doing is making you feel a certain way they will be more likely to stop. hope that helps. good luck.
2006-10-15 07:59:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the love of your life knows that you will always come back after every fight you have so he will never take you seriously . you need to sacrifice the love you have for him for your own safety and happiness.
2006-10-15 08:36:40 · answer #8 · answered by Obria 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately,he has issues,and you don't deserve to be treated like that,no one has the right to mis treat,offend,and humiliate any one!but if you don't stand up for your self,every one will do the same to you,he needs professional help,and as for you,you decide whether your love to him,is enough grounds to except that humiliation!he knows this and that you'll aways come back,decide,good luck,i wish you well!
2006-10-15 08:11:30 · answer #9 · answered by jose_valle76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him a letter with all the details and stay away for a day or so.. then there will be no confrontation... let him cool off..
2006-10-15 07:59:41 · answer #10 · answered by RiverRat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋