Question about bratty kid visitors...?

Question

So my husband and I bought our very 1st home a few months ago and we had our 2nd party or "get together" last night. I love having family and friends over BUT there is 1 problem. A lot of our family and friends have small children (ages 1-11). How do I get our guests to maintain their kids while visiting without sounding like an uptight *itch? The kids are BRATTY and NOT well behaved. Had I acted the way these kids did when I was their age, my mother would have kicked my *ss to Pluto! At first I thought I was just being anal because this is "our first" house and we OWN it, not like our rental property. Then after I thought, "Who else wouldn't be bothered by kids eating in the livingroom on the NEW furniture and runnning IN and OUT of the house and SCREAMING and CRYING while their parents do NOTHING or say NOTHING about it?" What measures can I take so that our gatherings don't seem like such a burden? I hate being a push over and NEVER saying anything to the parents when this happens.

I just thought I might add that I DO have 1 child myself who is now 14 and who's NEVER acted like these kids...THANKFULLY.

Answer 1

I can just picture the disaster you are going to have if you don't say something honey. This is one of those times where you need to speak up. I know it's going to be hard, but you have to ask yourself which is worse? Having these monsters contained with a little discipline, or scrubbing juice out of your new carpeting long after they've gone? I have five children and I've been raising them the way my mother raised me...you don't jump on the furniture, shoes get taken off at the door, you have an inside voice and an outside voice and food and drinks are consumed in the kitchen only. The good thing about your situation is that you are having friends and family over. These people are not strangers and will respect your decision to have some ground rules. All you need to do is simply tell them and it's easy to do, if you sort of make light of it. Say a child is eating a snack in the living room...simply walk with the little monster to the kitchen, sit down with him/her at the table and say "this is where we have to eat". If mom or dad question you, simply joke that you are trying to make the house last long enough to endure the destruction that will eventually be caused by your own children. They'll get the point. If the kids are running around like terrors, send them into the basement (not much they can destroy down there) or send them outside while joking that your house is the castle, not the fortress under attack by hooligans. The more you joke, the easier it'll get.

And don't worry about what others think...this is your house. My sister use to chastize me for not letting the kids just be kids, then as hers got older, she couldn't understand how mine were so well behaved while hers wouldn't even listen to her. They know when they come to my house, there are rules and without question, they follow them. I wasn't mean, I wasn't the iron-fisted ruler, I simply made light of the situation, got my point across and they, in time, learned what to expect at my house. Now when everyone comes here, I don't have to deal with bratty beasts, unruly temper tantrums or scrubbing my carpet after they've gone.

Just keep in mind, it's not going to happen in one visit. These things take time, but persistence pays off honey.

Answer 2

You will not sound like an itch if you make your expectations known in your house. If it was their house, I doubt they would tolerate thier kids acting like little heathons. I don't even know if that word is spelled right but you know what I mean. Anyway, if you don't overtly state your expectations then they will not be known and then it will be your fault if you get angry if something is spilled, stained or ruined; because you knew first hand how you want the children to act in your home. Too bad the parents aren't taking the initiative, so you do it. If it was me, I would say all shoes off, no running, no jumping, no yelling, no touching anything that you have not been given permission to touch and eat only in the kitchen/dining area unless you want to go hungry. If any one gets an attitude, that's their problem and they will get over it. To respect you is to respect your home, that is your haven.

Answer 3

The best thing of course would be to acquire some children of your own so the visiting brats have peers to hang out with and who know the house rules and can set an example. That would also force you to create a more kid-friendly home (ie. no breakables at baby-grabbing height; plenty of toys) A good start, is to get toys and games to entertain the nieces and nephews. Also, set ground rules such as off-limits rooms that have the doors closed to prevent unauthorized intruders, and let the parents know what is allowed and what isn't.

Answer 4

Last I checked it was your house. If these people are you friends then they should understand that their kids eat to a TABLE and not in the livingroom. That they must use their inside voice while at your house. That they are IN or OUT and if they cannot do what you ask then they leave their bad kids home. you are not asking much. and your not being uptight about it.

Answer 5

You are right....parents today arent that interested in being parents.

Unless you have your gatherings outside in the back yard, the only option is to not invite those with the bratty kids

Answer 6

Nip it in the butt and then make sure your children never turn out that way.

Answer 7

Just say: "HEY, you kids knock it off"... or I'm gonna....

Answer 8

don't invite um over if your that fussy.