PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Is speaking your mind something you have to be born with?

Question

Is speaking your mind something you have to be born with?
im not very good at saying what i have to say to people who get me mad. i want to kno is speaking your mind is something you are born with or can i gradually learn how to open my mouth up and say what i have to say?

Answer 1

When I married my first husband, I rarely spoke my mind.
After our divorce, I think the fact that I was a single mom, dealing with an ex and his woman he left me for, made me angry. I remarried, and I speak my mind, no matter what. I wont let anyone step over me, period. I think its a personal thing, all that you have been through in life, and what you will and will not stand up for, and take. As kids, actually up until a year ago, my baby sister who is 30, would tell you where to go, and how to go, and not bat an eye. Now, she lives a lot closer to my mom, who is 800 times worse, so she has now become passive. Its weird to see her that way. I think honestly it CAN be a born thing, but a lot of the time, it is about what you have been through.
I will tell you, stuffing is worse than telling the person, and them being mad. what is happening is, you are letting them get away with whatever it is they do or say. Do you think a week later they are thinking about the situation, no...are you? I bet you are. You can speak your mind, but do it with respect, and try not to attack. Tell your feelings, and leave pronouns out..you you you puts the other person on the defense.
You should speak your mind, and not stuff. If a person who says and does anything to you, gets angry with you when you address them, they have the problem then,not you.

Good Luck

Answer 2

I use to be the same way. People pretty much could say and and treat me like s*** anytime they wanted. A therapist I had years ago recommended I read the book "When I say no I feel guilty". It changed my life. It taught me how to be assertive. Not aggressive. My passive days of letting people say and do things are over. The book taught me to state my mind while leaving myself and the other person with respect. It is a very empowering book.

Yes, this is something you can learn and love yourself for it.

Answer 3

This is what is called a "nature vs nurture" question. Were you born with it, or is it because of how you were raised?

Personally, I think it's nurture - How you were raised. because of that, I think it's something you can learn to overcome. There are exercises to help you become more assertive, including visualization and role-playing.

If you have a friend you can trust, have them roleplay with you. They will act like someone who has just hurt you, or got you mad, and you will act out how you want to react to it. By practicing the behavior you want to learn, you are re-training yourself how to act in those situations.

You can also visualize how you want to react. When you out in public, imagine what would happen if... and then imagine how you would *like* to react to it.

It won't happen overnight, but if you keep up with it, you'll start teaching yourself to be more assertive. Just don't become aggressive, that's not a good quality.

Answer 4

I don't think that you are born with being able to speak your mind. I think it's something that comes naturally to people depending on how comfortable they are with a person. And yes over time you will be able to become more open if you try.

Answer 5

Some people just don't want to be an @ss, so they learn to clam up. In time, you can come out of your shell and let people know how you feel.

Answer 6

no it isnt something you are born with. it is something you gradually adapt to because of the enviroment you are in, the people around you, and how you are or were raised.

Answer 7

i had the same thing. I first just went to the other extreme. Just tell them to f off. Then back off from there. It works.