I've been dating this guy for a couple of weeks. We see each other almost every day. He always calls when he says he will, he says he really likes me, and we have fun together. I often spend the night at his place, and though we fool around, we haven't had sex. However, he has yet to take me out on a real, one-on-one date. Everytime I think we're going out alone, his roommate tags along. He promised he would take me out but this isn't what I expected. What also gets me is that he said he can't have a girlfriend right now because of time constraints. He's a student teacher AND an athlete, so I understand he has little time to spare,but that doesnt explain why we spend so much time already. Apparently he wants to keep things light, and he didn't seem happy that I asked where it was going "so early on". So if we see each other so often, act like a couple in public, and we're dating exclusively, how is this not a relationship? What's the problem?
2006-10-15 07:31:45 · 12 answers · asked by Singe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are not expecting too much sweetie. He's just commitment phobic, and there's no reason for you to take it. If he's getting queasy when you ask where's it going, he's not serious about it.
Stop spending time with him at his place. Go out and have fun. If he really wants you, he'll call you out. On a one-to-one date. Don't settle for less.
2006-10-15 07:40:26 · answer #1 · answered by Freelove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(1) I think that you should explain your problem with him. U don't have to be pushy or anything but u need to tell him that you want to give the current situation a clear definition so that no one gets hurt. You may think that u guys are exclusive and he may be keeping it "light" by dating other women and u as well. If you guys are working with different definitions of what your "status" is then someone is bound to get hurt.
(2) If you want some alone time with him you need to speak up and say that u just want it to be u and him. If u don't say anything about the "third wheel" he will think everything is fine.
(3) Lastly i think u should also state to him that being in a relationship is not about being physically with each other every waking moment and that u understand that his schedule gets busy and that the same may be true for u. But when he has time you two should be spending it 2gether. whether it is a phone call, a movie nite at home, or going out on a real date. It is not how much time u spend but the quality of the time spent.
All in all you should tell him how u feel. that way he knows and if he does not make the effort to meet u half way u will clearly know that he is not inn the relationship for the same reasons are you.
2006-10-15 14:43:05 · answer #2 · answered by mekhia81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he really likes you thats certain. you said he was a student teacher and an athlete. obviously he's making time for you with the little time he has between work and sports. if he says he likes you, calls when he says he will, hang out everyday, thats a good thing. in a way its his commitment to you. and trust me its a good thing he doesnt shun you away from his guy pals. letting them get to know you and see you and interat with you means his not afraid to show everyone that he's in to you. you say when you sleep over his place, you guys never had sex so you know thats not what he's after. . they confusing thing is when he says he cant have a gf though....this is where you need to watch out. since he hasnt formally asked you out, you too should keep things light. have fun together, but dont obsess over it. he might ask you out sooner or later or never at all so keep it light and above all you should be friends no matter what.
2006-10-15 14:38:58 · answer #3 · answered by kolie_rocks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of guys aren't ready for commitment. Maybe he just wants to be single for awhile. Ya know, it'll be less likely to end up in arguments, and he probably doesn't want to ruin the friendship. I suggest you keep doin what you are right now, and wait until he's ready. You CANNOT rush guys to turn into a commited man, or problems will arise. Take it easy and have fun while it lasts ;-)
2006-10-15 14:37:43 · answer #4 · answered by Déjà Vu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you date someone else... be a little less available. See if he wants to change things up... if not, then you are wasting your time. You can't let him walk all over you even this early on because if it does go farther then he just do it more and more.
2006-10-15 14:36:22 · answer #5 · answered by fullofsugaw 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to talk to him tell him you need some space from him. Tell him again you need to know where this is going, if it's not getting anywhere tell him you need to start seeing other people. Maybe once he hears you say that, and you avoid his phone calls for a couple of days, he may get jealous and it will make him "Think"
2006-10-15 14:40:22 · answer #6 · answered by Christine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I guess he just sees you as a friend for now.But your wasting your time.Go get someone who is serious about a relationship.He is just playing games with your hart and that is not acceptable.
2006-10-15 14:37:00 · answer #7 · answered by TayTay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, the writing is on the wall and he wrote it. Read it. Why would you settle for less than 100%?
2006-10-15 14:35:16 · answer #8 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know that this is not the thing that you want to hear...but OBVIOUSLY if you are going onto yahoo answers and asking this then he is not the right person for you...
2006-10-15 14:35:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes,you are wasting your time
2006-10-15 14:33:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋