my boyfriend and i have been together for three months. it took us a while to get together and when we finally did, it was a little awkward at first. then we got more comfortable together. lately however it feels as though he's distancing himself from me and doesn't want to be near me. we find it difficult to talk to each other about our feelings. recently a friend of mine(a guy) and i were playing around at the pool- my boyf was there but didn't join in- i think he was jealous. he used to be playful and spontaneous but it feels as if he isn't sure of himself when he's with me and he doesn't take advantage when i'd like him to. also, school results are getting him down. i really adore him- and don't want to lose him but i need some help and advice on how to spice things up and also cheer him up and let him know im there for him. id also like to open up his playful fun-loving side and show him that he can be himself around me and that i like it when he is.
2006-10-15 07:29:31 · 14 answers · asked by spranky 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Firstly stop worrying. The more you worry, the more you push your boyfriend away. If he isn't ready to talk about feelings, it's probably because he's not sure what they are. When we first start dating someone the initial chemicals of lust can intoxicate us, but once these chemicals start to fade, we are left with getting to know the person from the inside. He needs to keep seing you as a fun girl to be with for a while before he will be ready to relax with you so the best thing you can do is forget all about the past and start as you mean to go on, having fun!! your boyfriend will soon regain his interest in you and start chasing you around the house again. Why don't you try chasing him for a change? he will probably love it!
2006-10-15 08:54:52 · answer #1 · answered by pamperpooch39 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy: tell him what you've told us (you feel that he's distancing himself from you; that you don't think he's happy; that you don't want to lose him but that you don't want it to go on the way it is), and see what he says. Either he's got something he wants to talk about, or he's not interested. Either way, you'll know and can move on, whether with him or not. So saying, this stuff ain't worth worrying about until you're at least 35, so I'd go and have fun if I were you.
2006-10-15 14:40:09 · answer #2 · answered by non-workingmonkey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry that youre going through this. Keep in mind that youve been dating 3 month only....it sounds like its obviously him thats having the strange issues. Maybe plan a spontanous date with him, something fun and random, like a senic drive somewhere for a picnic, or a go rent some bikes and go ride them somewhere fun...talk to him, I mean really talk to him, maybe theres somethinghe wants to open up about to you but is unsure..maybe thats why he is distant..if he didnt like you he'd be mean and would have ended it wth you sooner. Just give him time, space and reassure him that your there to listen and he can trust you. you have nothing to loose.
2006-10-15 14:35:49 · answer #3 · answered by lani 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
arrange to meet him alone...tell him that you need to talk to him about your relationship just so you know where you stand....i don't know how old you are but this makes me think that your still pretty young...my advice is...if he continues to distance himself then this answer will speak volumes, he may not want a relationship just yet...at your age you should not be worrying about relationships....but still talk to him and ask him whats on his mind...it may be nothing, he may just be a little bit on the shy side, try not to be so active with your friend, your fella may be feeling a little bit intimidated, after all you have only been with him a few months, which is not long enough to get to know you and your friends...give him time sweetheart
2006-10-15 14:47:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no the problem is him...i know that u like him and adore him,but i guess he is not ready for a serious relationship right now...break up with him while u can than later that u feel more pain....
he is not jealous or whatever u think,he just dont care about u.
im sorry,but u need to move on and find a real man....
anyway,ur still young......
2006-10-15 14:35:11 · answer #5 · answered by capricorn girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its great that you want to try to save the relationship and you should try your best, but in the end if it still doesnt work you need to realize that it wasn't your fault. Sometimes it jsut isn't meant to be and sometiems other peopel just have problems with theirselves and they are the only ones tthat can help themselves adn there is nothign erally that you can do.
Try to talk to him, cheer him up by doing what he wants to do and really compromising what you want. But only do this until he returns "back to normal"....
"hope for the best.but be prepared for the worst"
2006-10-15 14:34:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is that hard in the beginning of a relationship there is no way it will last and be a healthy thing. Break up with him and find someone who is easy to be with and who you can enjoy a lasting relationship. Sounds like he has some issues.
2006-10-15 14:33:22 · answer #7 · answered by joandi_99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First how did you play around with someone but didn't join in?If you really want to save your relationship tell him what you just told us,just the way you said it in your question.
2006-10-15 14:36:23 · answer #8 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 months in and youre having problems? Cant see how it can get any better. I dont think hes ready for a long term relationship.
2006-10-15 14:35:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can encourage him and be nice and fun all you want. But if he wants to be a poopy pants there's nothing you can do about it. Don't exhaust yourself trying to make someone else happy. I watched my sister do it for years and whatta godawful waste of time that was.
2006-10-15 14:33:30 · answer #10 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋