split up with my boyfriend of two years and he moved out today. What have people done to cope with breaking up? I know it gets easier but wonder if there's anything i've not thought of!
2006-10-15 07:02:27 · 28 answers · asked by sophie m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There isn't a damn thing you can do to make a break up easier. I know it SUCKS! Take some time for you to work on you. Do something that builds your confidence and makes you feel better about who you are: exercise, lose/gain weight (whichever you think you need to do), learn a new skill, buy something you've always wanted (that's affordable), write your memoirs, or work on your self esteem. Whatever you do, make sure you examine the mistakes you made in the previous relationship, so you don't choose the wrong beau again next time.
2006-10-15 07:09:55 · answer #1 · answered by P. C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It gets easier, but theres no way you can make it easy immediately.
To be honest, theres no "right way" to cope with breaking up although there are many "wrong ways!" Girlfriends help out a ton, so spend a night in the town with the girls. Another way is to treat yourself, so take a spa day and do what YOU want...like shopping, eating ice cream or somethings that make you happy.
Try not to think about him at all. If you find yourself thinking about him, try to make it useful...write a prose, poem or a song. At least then, when you look back it won't be a waste of time in your "coping period."
No matter what, just don't go pyscho. (Trust me, i've been there and i've done that....)
:o)
2006-10-15 14:08:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just busy yourself. Look for something interesting which might be worth your time and space away from him. Something recreational, informative, lucrative (woot!~), and worth the while dabbled on. Keep yourself away from soap operas, sad love songs (especially your theme song), relationship-oriented greeting cards, and anything that may still remind you of him. Don't you ever think of committing suicide, okay?! Nah, just kidding... I know you can't afford to do that. ^_^
I am a guy but I also experienced what you're going through. I had a girlfriend for more than two years (my longest one, actually...) and we split up due to some cultural differences which should've been settled earlier. Our breakup almost tore me apart because she meant so much to me. But I realized that if I just sit in a corner and break down in tears of reminiscing our past, I would definitely do nothing to lift myself back up.
Those mentioned above are what I did, and payback became quite favorable to me. Trust me, those tips are effective. You will still find someone else. He's just out there, waiting to be hit by Cupid's arrow. Just try to do what I said while waiting for that guy to exist in your life.
I'm not aiming for the "Best Answer" award, but I hope I answered your question quite accordingly. ^_^
2006-10-15 14:22:53 · answer #3 · answered by Grifter Heavenspike 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend time with friends...keep yourself busy so you don't sit around too much and mope or mourn...it's okay to be sad and you should feel the grief, but don't be consumed by it...
Take a deeper interest in work as a distraction...go on a weekend trip with the girls...take up a new hobby or a class you've wanted to take...
It does take Time (cliche' as it sounds) for your heart to heal...but it will if you let it...in the mean time, realize that it's okay that it ended...cherish the memories, and learn any lessons that were there to learn...
...there will be more wonderful times in the future, have no doubt of that...
2006-10-15 14:06:26 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only time can wound a broken heart. You will go through phases. Sadness, depression, pissed-off and loneliness. Then when you realize you could get better, you open all the blinds, let the sun shine in, go for a long cool walk, take a long hot bubble bath, and insist on getting back with your life!! You have to, there is no other choice.
2006-10-15 14:08:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start thinking single instead of couple. Remove anything in your house that says couple, Have your friends come by or even plan a singles night out. The bottom line is to do and think single. PS. don't jump into any type of relationship right now, just have fun
2006-10-15 14:10:51 · answer #6 · answered by Magica! Star 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
:) That first answer is close not exact but close. Date...you do not have to and probably should not get intimate with anyone right away but "date" it is good for the soul!
Call your friends back...the ones you have not had much time for in the last 2 years :) and just hang out.
Go to the movies or take up a hobby. The key is to keep yourself busy....yep!...keep yourself busy...it helps to maintain your sanity. Sometimes it is not really about love. Sometimes we just get use to having someone around.
Good luck!
2006-10-15 14:13:29 · answer #7 · answered by californian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break ups are never easy and there is a mourning process.
This process is normal so go with it.
I can't think of the exact order but ...
you may experience anger
then question yourself... where did I go wrong, what's wrong with me, and so on.
then you may even discover those questions actually have answers..... they usually do.
Work on yourself... everyone has room for improvement. When you improve on something you will feel a sense of accomplishment and this is always helpful in building self esteem.
We tend to place to much responsibility for our own happiness on other people... when someone makes us happy... but can anyone really MAKE us happy or is it just an illusion?
We have to be happy with ourselves first; self improvement = personal growth = happiness within ourself.
2006-10-15 14:09:00 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself a month to wallow. Rally your girlfriends. Unlimited whining on your part, lots of comfort food, get pampered at a day spa, make lists of all his annoying traits. Try to find things that make you laugh - movies, break up books, etc. A lot of it depends on the dynamic of the breakup. It's harder if there wasn't anything super bad, 'cause nothing makes you feel better faster than self-righteous anger. It sucks, but it does get better!
2006-10-15 14:08:00 · answer #9 · answered by yellowbugchickoh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to force yourself to let go. The easiest way is probably destroying physical evidence; love letters, clothes, gifts. But never destroy pictures- that is the one thing you should keep. There is a reason you broke up, don't convince yourself that you can look past that reason and get back together. If you're meant to be him, then you will end up together. Cede, and let fate and nature take it's course. Just sit back and watch!
2006-10-15 14:06:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋