me and my girlfriend were dating for a year and a half, and decided it would be best to take a break for the summer, and we recently got back together. Just the other day i was messing around with her phone, and found some text messages from a 300 lb black Defensive Lineman from a local Arena Football team that she happened to hook up with a few times over the summer. I am a 6 ft 2 inch, 235lb college football player and its kinda a kick in the nuts that my ex slept with a 300 lb black guy...(guys, you should understand this). But the TM's said things like, "I wish we could lay together naked one last time",or "just wanted to let you know 'your HOTT'", or "Just wondering how youve been doing, since you got back with your BF we havent talked much"....to which my gf replied "just becuase we dont talk doesnt mean i dont think of you". So what do i do...confront her and let her know i was snooping around, or turn a blind eye to it... Please help me out, im really torn
2006-10-15 06:23:13 · 10 answers · asked by d3footballbound 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i would just like to clarify that i am a little intimidated that she was with a 300lb black man...but im not mad at her for it, it was over the summer and we werent together. I am upset about the content of the text messages....
2006-10-15 06:40:12 · update #1
Grow up...his race or size has nothing to do with the issue...stop being jealous and insecure about someone else...she's not with him, she's with you...apparently she had some kind of feelings for him (but would you have posted if he'd been a 5'7", 180 lb computer nerd?) and wouldn't you want to think she's the kind of person who would have feelings for someone she was intimate with?
She's with you...they aren't dating...nothing in your snooping indicates she's doing anything wrong, although she probably should tell the other guy to back off and move on (his comments aren't appropriate, but that's not her fault).
What are you going to confront her with? That while you two were NOT DATING she got involved with someone else? I fail to see why it's even your business...she didn't cheat on you, so get over it and realize that you aren't the only guy who finds her appealing (apparently)...
Be glad she's with you now (again) and make sure she knows you appreciate her...that way you won't have to worry about losing her to the other guy...
2006-10-15 06:28:59 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Actually, I have a completely different tack here.
You two decided to "take a break", so what she did during that time apparantly was ok....unless you figured that left you free to do whatever, and she wouldn't.
Be that as it may, if she did find somebody exciting for her, you can't expect her to forget on her own. Plus, you're in a no-win situation, since you discovered this by violating her personal space.
So my recommendation would be, if you want to really keep her and aren't just mad because she hooked up, to turn up the heat. Take your courtship to a new level; be creative, adventursome, etc. YOu've been with her a year and a half, you should know by now (if you've been paying attention) to what makes her feel very special, what her desires are, etc. Or you could ask some advice from some other ladies you trust as to what you can do to just blow her away and show her how much you care about her.
If you're successful, this other fella will go by the wayside, all on its own, because you are satisfying her needs.
2006-10-15 06:31:10 · answer #2 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Confront her and it will be over. She may choose not to deal with it and since trust is the key in a relationship, which you have broken your relationship will never, ever be right. Decide if you want her and then start being the kind of guy she doesnt need to take a break from. Then again if youve already taken a break and she obviously doesnt share the same values as you maybe you should just call it quits.
2006-10-15 06:52:43 · answer #3 · answered by jackson 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have a dilemma on your hands. First off, before you snoop in the future you need to ask yourself "Do I really want to know the worst?.
I'm afraid the only way out now is to come completely clean. tell her that you saw the texts. Let her outrage at not trusting her role off your back. Don't even comment on it. No comebacks. No "Well obviously you can't be trusted" statements. Stick to the point. Ask her about Mr. Defensive Lineman in detail. Tell her that you will accept nothing but the truth. And then dear, you will need to come clean about your own summer.
2006-10-15 06:33:15 · answer #4 · answered by BParker 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dude you were on a break and she saw an opportunity to try something different, Some girls dont look at guy's as black and white some do.If you have to know then I would tell her that someone mentioned seeing her and that guy together over the summer and you want to know if it is over or should I be worried. Good luck.
2006-10-15 06:29:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would dump her.
it's ok in my mind for her to have a stand-by boyfriend
letting you find out is unforgivable.
2006-10-15 06:40:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I dunno. There's a chance that if you tell her you were looking through her text messages, she'll be upset and flip out.
But don't ignore it either... She might be cheating.
2006-10-15 06:34:21 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you were on a break so its none of your business
2006-10-15 06:31:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
be honest.
Just talk to her about it in a non-threatening way.
2006-10-15 06:26:07 · answer #9 · answered by mimi22 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dump the whore
2006-10-15 06:26:25 · answer #10 · answered by gallow 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋