i am 19 years old and am currently an au pair in America...I'm looking after 3 boys, 14, 12 and 10
my problem is that the 14 year old is giving me such a hard time! I don't know what to do anymore, he doesn't have any respect for me (neither does his friends) he swears at me and shouts at me...I've spoken to his parents and all that happens is he tells them: "no mommy, it's my friends and i tell them to stop" but just as his parents leave he'll start again...they don't believe me they just listen to him...
i've been crying about this every night for a week now already and i don't know what to do i even stopped speaking to him...but i can't take this kind of abuse from 14 yearolds anymmore!!
How can i sort this out!
2006-10-15 06:22:39 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
This sounds pretty awful for you.
I agree with the person who suggests using a tape recorder to catch him out. When you play it, play it loud, because abuse sounds worse when it comes out in a loud volume.
But with regard to the general situation, how about saying simply to the parents that this situation has got you so upset that you want to leave, that you are not, as you say, prepared to put up with this treatment any more; you did not sign up to be the verbal punchbag for a 14year old?
It raises interesting questions about the family you are with. Behaviour like this is modeled on somebody.
This is bullying. What message does it send to this boy when his behaviour is not addressed? Stand up for yourself, and demonstrate to this child that you will not put up with it: this is the strongest message you can send.
2006-10-15 06:50:14 · answer #1 · answered by tagette 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should get another job. That is a difficult situation that you are in. But no one deserves to be abused. You have already reported the abuse to his parents and it continues. That means that the parents may be part of the problem. You should not waste any more of your time with that ungratefull brat. Good luck
2006-10-15 06:33:58 · answer #2 · answered by sandra g 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can't you ask to be transered to a different family? This boy has issues. Maybe if you can record some of the abuse the parents will believe you. I would just get out. Good luck.
2006-10-15 06:28:17 · answer #3 · answered by angelica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a video camera and set it up where he won't look for it but it can see the room. Catch him in the act. Hand it over to his parents.
In the mean time, I would be looking for another position. There is no reason you should have to take this abuse.
2006-10-15 06:27:46 · answer #4 · answered by seeme1995 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough one, but I think he is doing it for reaction, I think you need to ignore the behavior also if the kid is saying the friends are doing it why have the parents not told the kid that there are to be no friends in the house if they are not home, he is doing it to impress them by the sounds of it. I fyou can make the rule tell him no friends over.
2006-10-15 06:27:35 · answer #5 · answered by ptaylor360 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On behalf of America I would like to apoligize. Yes our children are morons but so are the parents who raise them.
I would have a sit down with the parents, just them, and explain to them in detail what occurs. Then I would make the altimatum of they do something about it (or let you) or you go.
Also, if you get the green like to punish him. Take him when he's with his friends and spank him in front of them. Nothing like a little shaming to shut that bratty kid up.
Since he is 14, he's going through some times that are hard for him. If he does it more when his friends are there, he's trying to establish a connection with them and associate himself with them as a group. If his parents want their kid hanging out with these types of kids (who he even admits as cursing) then there is not much care for him.
Also, tell him your stance on him doing that. Don't raise your voice. In fact if he yells speak softer but maintain eye contact. If he gets angry smile and maintain calmness.
I guess you could also try bonding with him. Take him on a kinda date where it's just you and him and something he likes to do or knows a lot about. A guy will always like to talk about something he likes a lot and knows a lot about, even if he claims not to like a person.
That's all the advice I have for you. Good luck...keep me updated.
2006-10-15 06:32:45 · answer #6 · answered by X M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you responsible for this kid while he is here? What agency are you working through? I would contact the agency and let them know what the issue is. They might speak with the child/parents and make it stop or remove the kid from the program.
2006-10-15 07:23:50 · answer #7 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion you are too young to be there with ages like that. All that said, you should give notice and look for a place where you feel respected ...and with younger children so the age gap is wider.
2006-10-15 06:26:21 · answer #8 · answered by Zoey 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would tape him, and if the parents don't do anything get another job. No job would pay me enough to put up with that. And if my fifteen year old did that, I'd beat the crap out of him.
2006-10-15 06:32:12 · answer #9 · answered by tinamaries43 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get yourself a belt and the next time he is being a jerk haul it out and wupp his @ss as a 14 year old he shouldnt need it but because his parent obviously havnt discplined him you need to do it.
2006-10-15 06:26:40 · answer #10 · answered by SwordDancer 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋