do you have a great sense of humor?

Question

if so,tell me a joke because i love laughing!

Answer 1

Alright Happyhotti: two for the price of one:

PADDY AND THE PROSTITUTE:

Paddy had just arrived in London and was walking down Kings Cross Road, when one of the local ‘ladies of the night’ stepped out and said ‘Would you like to sleep with me for £25.’ ‘Aw f--k it’ said Paddy ‘I might as well, I’m not really tired, but I could do with the money’.

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THE TWO OLD PROSTITUTES:

Mary and Patricia, two old prostitutes, were in a cafe in Kings Cross discussing business. ‘Aw Jazus Mary’ said Patricia ‘You will never guess what happened last night’. ‘And what was that, might I ask’ answered Mary. ‘Well’ said Patricia ‘this big lad just over from Ireland came up and asked me how much it was for the full business, and I said £25.’. ‘Go on, go on’ urged Mary. ‘Well’ continued Patricia ‘He asked if I could do it any cheaper as he only had £5’. I told him that I was a professional woman and could not do it for less than the going rate of £25. So, anyway, he asked me what I could do for a fiver, and I offered him hand relief. Well, and this is the crux of the story Mary. I took him around the back of the station and opened up his trousers. Well Mary, there it stood, the most beautiful co*ck I have ever seen in me life’. ‘Well’ asked Mary ‘what did you do, go on, tell me’. ‘Aw’, replied Patricia ‘I had to, didn’t I. I lent him the £20.’

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Answer 2

A friend sent this one to me.

The Indian and the Bull
> >
> > An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male
> > buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter, "Want coffee."
> >
> > The waiter says, "Sure, Chief, coming right up." He gets the Indian a
tall
> > mug
> > of coffee. The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and
> > blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to
> > splatter
> > everywhere, then just walks out.
> >
> > The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand
> > pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the
> > counter and says to the waiter, "Want coffee."
> >
> > The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from
> > yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?"
> >
> > The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Training for position in United
> > States Congress. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess
> > for others to clean up, disappear for the rest of the day."

Answer 3

a humorousness that exists with scripture...God has a humorousness too. Proverbs 15:30 a pleased look brings excitement to the middle, and stable information provides well being to the bones.

Answer 4

The Lone Ranger rode in on Silver to a bar. He tied Silver to a post, went in, and chatted with other guys. Soon, a man came in. "Whose horse is that?" he asked. Ranger got up. "It's my horse. Do you have a problem with that?" he challenged. "No, it's just your horse is too hot." Ranger went outside. The man was right, Silver had collapsed. He ordered Tonto to run around to create some wind. He went back into the bar. Pretty soon, a guy came in. "Whose horse is that?" he asked. "It's mine; what's wrong with it now?" The man gestured to the window. "Nothing's wrong with the horse, I just came to tell you that you left your Injun (engine) running.

A man was on a road trip. He got out of his car to stretch his legs. Soon he came to a hole. He wanted to see how deep it was, so he threw a pebble in. No sound. He threw a rock in. No sound. Angrily he pushed the largest thing next to him (which was a log) into the hole. No sound. Pretty soon, a goat ran by and jumped into the hole. No sound. A farmer came by and said, "Have you seen my goat?" Not wanting to be in trouble for not catching the goat, he said, "No." The farmer sighed. "Oh well, he can't have got far. He was tied to a log."

Hope you laugh at the jokes. :)

Answer 5

More like a practical joke to play on friends, you ask:

How do you keep an *$$hole in suspense...

And reply: I'll tell you tomorrow!

Answer 6

3 girls were on an island a blond , brunette, redhead. the redhead decides to try to get off the island to the mainland 100 miles away. she makes it 20 miles gets tired, and comes back. the brunette goes next. she makes it 30 miles, gets tired , and turns around. the blond is last she makes it 50 miles, gets tired and turns around and swims back to the island.




a blond, redhead, and brunete were in line to be shot and executed. the redhead went up to the stand, pointed behind them and yelled" tornado"!!, and ran away. the brunette got up ther, pointed and yelled" hurricane!!" and got away. the blond is last. she goes up there, points and yells "FIRE!!".Bang! she never got away.

Answer 7

1>A man and a prostitute were having sex
the man's di_ck was in her mouth
she threatened---"give me 1000 bucks otherwise i wil bite it"

the man replied---"give me 5000 bucks otherwise i will pissss in ur mouth"

















2>Once a boy wrote to santa clause----"send me a brother"
santa wrote back------"send me ur mother"



3>What is Long & Hard, has a hole at the tip and when u insert it into a wet, hairy & tight hole makes u feel better?
Vicks Inhaler

Answer 8

not really, but here's a funny joke.
A blode seesa a guy and says T.G.I.F.
the guy says S.H.I.T.
blonde says T.G.I.F.
the guy says S.H.I.T
Thank
God
It's
Friday

Sorry
Honey
It's
Thrusday
LOL!
i hope it made you laugh