my sister in laws a druggie on benefits?

Question

she is a complete waist of space and is on full disability benefits and has a council house for being a junkie. she beat up her mum the other week infront of my son and although my wife doesn't really want anything to do with her, she finds it hard as their mum keeps making exuses for her. i had an arguement with my wife today as i don't think we should let my son around there without us incase she kicks off again. has anyone got any suggestions

Answer 1

I agree with you ,,, don't let your son be around her, he will learn to use violence instead of verbal commutation. if the mum-in-law wants to continue making excuses for her it is just hurting her daughter enabling her . ask your wife if she really wants her son to see this ? it might make her realize that you are not wrong in your concern

Answer 2

Give this woman a massive swerve at all costs, your mother in law should stop making excuses for her as well, i mean no-body forced her to start sticking needles in her arms did they?
My cousin has been a herion addict for most of her adult life and will never ever get clean, despite the many times she has gone into rehab, the last clinic she went in to she left after just 2 days as it was full of " bloody weirdos and down and outs"- her words not mine.
Go with your instincs and dont let your son be exposed to this womans filthy habit, dont let your wife or mother in law persuade you other wise, it's bad enough for an adult to be exposed to this way of life, so your child should not have to, despite her being family!

Answer 3

HELP HER....GET HER INTO REHAB AND GET HER OFF THE DRUGS.....

it's the drugs that are making her violent...help her...she is not the person she used to be...the drugs are making her this way...don't turn your backs on her, hitting her mum is terrible and unforgivable, but like i said, i blame the drugs, i have seen a family member of mine go west because of drug abuse and now she is alone because she does not want to be helped..she lives in a run down housing estate with no money and a bunch of undernourished kids...they are all in care now and her life is slipping by her, she wont get help so we dont go to see her any more, we all think she is to be left alone to get on with her sad little drugged up life...we did try and help her but she was ahving none of it, so we all gave up, she is violent too, she was not like that years ago, she was successful and happy, she was healthy and had her own business, own home, own car, till she met the low life scum bag she is still with now...if she got away from him she may have a chance in life to get back on tack again and get her kids back...

your sis in law also needs to agree that she has a problem...once she does that, you can take further steps in helping her, but she has to admit that she has a problem...if she wont accept help then let her alone and don't bother with her any more....keep her away from your son too...it's not good or a kid to see that happen especially seeing his nan being beaten up...it's not healthy for him....you should go see her and tell her that this has to stop...and if it doesn't then you are NOT going to be there for her when she hits the wall....keep your son well away...he does not need to see this.....

Answer 4

for starters no one is a complete waiste of space, i'm sure your sis-in-law didn't get where she's at because she wanted to, there could had been a fall back to get her where she's at know, with the love and support from her friends and family can change all that, if ya have done that already, call aa or na theres a number that they can give ya, where if im not mistaking take her at her own free will, with thy conscent of family and friends, to help her out, of course mom is going to make up excuses for her, she's a mother, but i suggest ya sit down with mom and have a talk with her, she need to pick up phone and call some that can help her out, if ya have any, maybe just a carring bone in ya body for her, everybody needs sometimes that one carring, person to lead them in the wright direction, as for your son,your wright about that one, he should not be left unattended there without ya presence until the situation gets taken cared of and i hope your wife understands that, good luck

Answer 5

You should limit your sons exposure to her until he is older. He does need to see that that is not the lifestyle for him but also try to keep that abusive woman from him. Also your wife is going to stick by her sister for a while. She most likely hold guilt over her sisters condition. See if she blames herself for something. There is no hope for the mother. She is stuck in that victim cycle and she has to pull herself out. Just don't bad mouth her too much. Little kids need to think their Nana is faultless.
As for the disability, well i understand. You don't realize how many i have to fill out for people who have ruined themselves because of excessive drug use. It's unfair but such is life. Just keep your son from that. It's a good example for him in the long run.
I think everyone needs a black sheep in the family as an example for their kids. It shows them the real world early.

Answer 6

You are the one in the right on this - stand your ground where your wife is concerned because its no good her admitting she was wrong after the event. Your son shouldnt be subjected to that type of behaviour no matter what excuses are made by the mother. Think honestly - is that the message you want to give your son - that its okay for mother and daughter to fight ???? Get him out of the environment and keep him out.

Answer 7

You are absolutely right about protecting your son from her. If she's out of control, then you need to do whatever it takes to keep him from being exposed to that behaviour, & your wife needs to recognise that as well.
I am sorry to tell you that there is nothing much you or your wife or your MIL can do to help your SIL.
Drug addicts will exploit every advantage that is thrown at them to stay ON DRUGS, & won't try to change unless they reach their "Bottom". That's where they realise that they are about to lose or have already lost everything that they value, & she probably doesn't value much except what she needs to have in order to get drugs & stay high.
Having had more than one addict in my life the best suggestion that I can give you, is to tell your SIL that she is going to have to be excluded in every way, from the lives of you family in order to protect your son, & the only way that you will accept her back in is if she seeks treatment for her addiction, & makes a sincere effort to change her life for the better.
It may seem brutal, & cruel, but every day that your wife or MIL does something to soften the consequenses of being a drug addict is another day that delay's your SIL from reaching her "Bottom". Things like letting her see her nefew while she's high. Bailing her out when she's in a jam, or telling lies for her to keep her from losing a job, or her housing, or social assistance. Or not reporting her to the police when she beats up her mother.
Or making excuses for her.
The reality is that when you do stuff like that, you only do it to satisfy your own conscience, so it turns out to be a selfish act instead of a giving one.
Many an addict has ended up THANKING the ones who finally let them reach their bottom, so that they were forced into treatment before they ended up killing themselves.
Your SIL needs to suffer the true consequences of her choices in life.
You & your wife & MIL need to read a book called "Co-Dependant No More" by Melodie Beatty, it helped me a great deal, & I honestly believe that it will open your eyes to the destructive role you can play in an addicts life.
Above all protect your child, he's the innocent one who needs your protection.

Answer 8

Keep your son away from her.If your wife wants to see her sister,then make sure it's away from your home.I have no time for druggie scumbags because they knew how addictive drugs are before they took it for the first time.It's different with alcoholics ,because most drinkers don't get hooked,it just sort of creeps up on those who are vulnerable.Your wife's loyalties should be to you & your son.

Answer 9

I suggest that you and your family stay away from this woman. She is taking full advantage of the system so she doesn't have to work or take any responsibility at all. She is lazy, immature, and useless. She should be thrown into a lock-up rehab facility and forced to clean up her act.

Your wife's mom needs to be sent to counseling to see how she is enabling this daughter in her drug addiction. She needs to learn about "tough love" and how the woman needs to grow up and take responsibility for her own actions. By her mom allowing it to happen she is condoning the behavior.

Answer 10

call the abused woman's advocacy or the local sheriffs department and leave an anonymous tip..Do not allow your child there under any circumstances no matter what your wife thinks..she loves her family and love is blind..but don't let her blindness hurt your son..it is very unhealthy for your son to see grandma beat up get your sister in law and wife help..I almost would report your sister in law to SDI our government doesn't need o pay for her drugs